hope I'm in the right place

I deal with feelings of being separated from reality everyday. Like I'm on auto pilot and the world is passing me by in fast forward and when I look around I feel like time and space are crumbling...that it's all just a figment. On top of my depression it really makes everything much harder.

Not many people in my life understand how hard it is or even really care. I even tried to talk to my psychiatrist about and she just told me to tell myself it's real,it's not a dream and realize it's all in my head. I have to say...that was no help.

My most important year of school is coming up,and last year was pretty bad...no matter how many times I tried to ground myself. Everything gets distorted like I'm watching a movie,the words out of people's mouths sound unreal,the words I'm looking at just become foreign.And this isn't just in school..everywhere I go. store,mall,relatives,friends..even by myself.

This happens all the time and I hate it and I'm afraid this will just result in my failure. I'm already stressed and obsessed over everything else...and I don't know what to do.

Wanted to welcome you and let you know you are certainly in the right place. I've read many posts describing what you have just shared.

I hope it will help you to find others who do understand. It's so hard and painful to feel all alone.

There are really nice folks here. Will look forward to reading more about you,
Judee

(((((((((((Kipper55))))))))))))) Welcome to Psych Central. You are definitely in the right place. I'm so sorry your psychiatrist was not helpful. Some just do not understand and I'm so sorry for that. Is there a possibility of finding a counselor that might be more supportive and be able to help?

We're glad you're here and look forward to hearing more from you.

Welcome to PC. Yes, you are in the right place. It is unfortunate when a mental help professional does not understand. Is there someone else you can see? Maybe someone who works with dissociative disorders? I'm glad you found us.

BB

edited for spelling errors

I can tell you that I know what you are talking about. I felt the same way in school. I can sit and think about it and some of it is blacked out and what isn't blacked out, is a blur. You know I don't even remember going to prom. I know I did, I've got the pictures.
Don't think that you're going to be a failure. I know it's hard and there is some days I sit and wonder why. I made it through high school and college. And I have faith in you and that you will make it.
Welcome to the sight and if you need to talk, I am here!

thanks you guys.
right now there's no one else I can see...unless I go out of the city..or it's just to far for my grandmother to drive..and she doesn't want me taking the bus.

there's only 2 psychiatrists in the facility I go to and I have a bad association with the other. I don't have a therapist because apparently group therapy and medication is enough. I don't feel that way at all..but they still denied me getting an individual counselor. Then there's the whole thing w/ insurance.

I really feel kind of stuck..for that and many other reasons.

I'm glad you guys are so supportive..I don't get that often

It sounds like what happened with me when I have what t called derealizataion.

Derealization (as well as depersonalization), like most forms of dissociation can be part of the normal human experience.

They can also be so severe that they become a disorder on their own, or as one symptom of another illness.

I'm so sorry that you're dealing with what appears to be much dissociation, and do hope that someone will understand the degree of how it's affecting your life.

What you describe sounds like what my t explained to be derealization:

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Unlike depersonalization which effects the perception of oneself, derealization is a change in an individual's experience of their environment, where the world around him/her feels unreal and unfamiliar.

Again, derealization, like depersonalization, is caused by a change in the way senses perceive our surroundings due to sensitized, anxious, nerve signals reaching the brain. Derealization is completely harmless but can be very disturbing. The more you give derealization credibility, the longer it stays with you. As anxiety levels are reduced, derealization disappears.

Terms commonly used to describe the symptoms and sensations of Derealization:

* spaciness
* like looking through a gray veil
* a sensory fog
* spaced-out
* being trapped in a glass bell jar
* in a goldfish bowl
* behind glass
* in a Disney-world dream state
* withdrawn
* feeling cut off or distant from the immediate surroundings
* like being a spectator at some strange and meaningless game
* objects appear diminished in size
* flat
* dream-like
* cartoon-like
* artificial; objects appear to be unsolid, to breathe, or to shimmer
* "as if my head were inside a Coke bottle and I'm viewing the world through the thick glass at the bottom"

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

If that sounds familiar to you, you can read more here or many other places in order to try to understand more your experiences: http://www.panic-anxiety.com/deperso...derealization/

In the above site, they discuss it as it being secondary to panic/anxiety, but there are many causes I think?

Also, we're here for you and will support you in your journey of understanding and healing.

KD

Kipper55,

Welcome to Psych Central. I'm sorry things are so tough right now. I wish you had more support out there, but maybe you can draw on support in here instead.

You know, I notice that you are articulate and able to describe things well. This tells me you are bright and creative. You have managed to get along for quite a while without all the help you may wish for. I'm saying this to tell you that you don't need to be all afraid you will suddenly fail now. You have resources inside that will help you do your best. That is one of the neat things about us dissociative people, we have some great resources inside of us and with some encouragement I bet you will be able to help yourself get through this school year.

I'm sorry things seem so strange right now. When you can calm down some that will probably diminish for you. It has been a long while since I went through a period of that - so know it can come and go too. Keep coming here and get to know folks, I bet it will help some. Hugs,

Leslieann and Pixies

thanks you guys