I back.. in the "world" of having no control..... of having.. "slam/dunk" alter changes... with drastic... consequences....

It's been probably 20 years since I have been in this state... so did I just "flush" away 20 years of therapy???

Life.. is hard, very hard this way... the alters are so different.. and the host.. she will be in "hiding"... healing... for a few months.. I am taking care of things for awhile....

I don't know what to say... what to do... how does life change so rapidly?? and how does it not go back to "normal"???

I as an alter do not want to be forced... out... to have to pick up.. pieces.. to do damage control.. for the "all"...

so confused.. and... just "disoriented"...

[Sannah]

((((((((freewill))))))))

[multipixie9]

Free Will,

If this was me, I think my T would encourage me to ask my system questions and see can I get some talk going on and parts communicating. Being as kind as possible to alts. and not getting angry over the sudden changes that I did not like. Doing my all to encourage talk, cooperation, disclosure among parts. Avoid anger at each other and blaming or projecting fears and worries on the alts who are there. All these things may make it easier for others to talk and be good to the other parts.

When I stopped my anger at parts I did not understand or want then the emotional atmosphere of my system calmed down and parts stopped panicking and getting aggressive with me; it got better and some talk began to happen and journal information showed up and alts began to come out and talk with our T.

If any of this helps or encourages you I would be happy. I know this is not what you wanted, but it is not a disaster, just another stage or phase to go into and through. Any positives you can discover will help and be good for you. Be kind and gentle as best you can. Just suggestions based on some experience of hostile times before cooperation began to happen.

USE TO WE HATD LESLIE COS SHE MEEN TO US. NEVR LISSEN, NEVR NIS. SHE ANGREE AT US AN US MAD AT HER TOO. FINLEE SHE LISSEN US AN BEED NIS TO US. TALK NIS, BRING BEAR TO US TO HOLD, COLORS AN PAPR. THEN WE DON HAT HER. MABEE TRUS A LITL. WE TEL HER STUF AN WE TAK TO CAROLN OWER T - ONLY SHE A C, NOT T. IT GET BETR FINLY.
I HOP THINS GET BETR FO U.

JANE, LELI, RACHEL, SPUNKY AND LESLIE AN PIXIES ALL

[Lenny]

Originally Posted by freewill

so confused.. and... just "disoriented"...

Sometimes it is best to let the horse be a horse and do what it knows how to do...

Loosen the reins...just a bit and trust...

You "all" have been through much lately freewill...pushing and pulling, remembering..trying to make sense out of senseless situations...

It is hard...when aspects of you have meaningfull identities related to events in your evolution.

Try not to "control" right now...try to breath and let the dust settle where it settles...

I know that it seems that time is slipping away sometimes but even in the tiniest of things,,,like a simple blade of grass,,it waits patiently for each millimeter of growth,,,and it is such a long wait on cool and cloudy days...but it knows the sun will shine...

And it waits..

Be still if you can freewill...we will sit with you...

Lenny

[iamtwilight]

stressful events in life can make you more "shattered" and make you switch, like you had no control.. 20 years of therapy.. wow, that is a lot. i don't think that much therapy can go to waste. you are just hurting - and this is how your mind deals with it. i hope you can be safe

twilight

[wanttoheal]

(((((((((((((freewill)))))))))))) Sorry it's hard right now. After 20+ years of therapy, do you still not have internal communication? If one hasn't learned how to deal with stuff and learn new coping skills, I think it's normal to go back to what we know. T always tells me to trust myselves in those situations. My parts were formed to get me through times and to do what needs to be done to survive. It may not always be in ways I want, but survival is key. Good luck with this.