[Kiya]

switched several times tonight.... why did i join this?!?? we scared to see how deep this rabbit hole goes. one person even walked out (which we are allowed to do and i guess one of the co-leaders stays with the person) - it altered the dynamic of the group for a moment, but then it got back on track - it also showed me that it is allowed and possible. at one point i probly shoulda. totally shimmered and switched and lost all feeling in the body. still don't have warmth in all areas yet. just feel cold and miserable and unable really to get myself to do self care - tho i am listening to music, so that is a plus. wish i didn't have to work in the morning. just want to sleep forever.

[bipolar_bear]

Please use self care in group. Maybe you can talk to the facilitators and make some guidelines for you to use. I hate to see you get too triggered. I hope you got some good rest last night.

BB

[wanttoheal]

(((((((((((((Kiya)))))))))))) That sounds really hard. Is there something you can take to group with you to help ground you, such as a small stuffed animal or a rock or something meaningful to you? Maybe also you can talk to the co-workers before hand and work out a hand signal to let them know you are struggling before you get to the point of switching? I think you're very brave to go to group. Please take good care.

[Kiya]

((((((Bbear)))))))))
Ugh - no sleep last night, but i did take a 3 hour nap today after work, before therapy.
How do you use self-care in group?? Somehow this is new to me and not computing.

[Kiya]

Originally Posted by wanttoheal

(((((((((((((Kiya)))))))))))) That sounds really hard. Is there something you can take to group with you to help ground you, such as a small stuffed animal ... Maybe also you can talk to the co-workers before hand and work out a hand signal to let them know you are struggling before you get to the point of switching?

(((((((((((((((W2H)))))))))))))))))))
I did have both Benedict and Scardy Cat with me. Pulled out scardy and had her under my scarf for wahya to hold - she's smaller than Bene and easy to hide.
The Co-facilator T did talk about having a signal or letting her know somehow - but I don't get it. I guess when I know I'm about to switch I feel there's a giant spot light on me and i try to hide more and start compartmentalizing things to try and avoid the switch. I guess i am just so not used to alerting ppl to a problem. Something to work on for next time.

[Kiya]

One thing i am noticing from group is how sensitive i have been to outter stimuli since then; noise and touch especially. I could hardly stand to be in the house with mom last night due to the tv bombarding my senses. Then this morning, my back skin was terribly sensitive and did not want to have to deal with clothes.
So one thing I am learning (and this came up in my cognitive-behavorial group that meets before group therapy) is to be able to stay in the body while experiencing discomfort. This is new for me and T was extremely pleased about this tonight.

[multipixie9]

kiya, sounds like you are making progress - even though it is so tough right now.

its important to know that you can struggle and be uncomfortable AND nothing bad happens to you.

growing is not always fun, but it has rewards and you will get them on the way.

as your friend, i am very proud of you and pleased for you!

leslie and pixies

[Kiya]

i am just going to sit with that. i don't know where my head is atm.
(((((((((l&p)))))))))))))