No one else ever understands how hard it is to "fight with yourself". Internally, we're a mess. I have to bribe myself, argue with myself, barter with myself. We can't get along and my friends don't understand how hard it is for me.

But, hey, I went to therapy this morning, that's a start, considering how awful things have been. A little has gotten into the habit of drawing bad things again and it's so hard to get him to stop, and it kills me when I have to see it.

[Lenny]

Originally Posted by Griffe

No one else ever understands how hard it is to "fight with yourself".

We understand the "war" griffe. It is hard.

But it is worth fighting for.

Your a wonderfull person and you help so many souls here...

With care,

Lenny

[Kendyll]

I may not truly understand but every day I watch my BF fight his own war...
You must be a very strong, brave man, Griffe.

[pegasus]

((((((( Griffe )))))))

It is hard, and some people will never understand. You are doing good stuff in the therapy now, stick with it my friend, it will be worth it.

I am so relieved that things are getting better...
Because losing you would be too painful to bear

Please keep going to therapy Griffe, it's worth it

I understand that war inside...
At this point, I gave up trying to talk with myself,
At least for a little while
Until I have the time and energy again
I wouldn't recomend it though, it just makes the fighting worse...
Really worse
But it's easier in my head to take a beating rather then trying to resolve it
It is a lot easier to be cold and to slip away control of my own inner voice and hurt the other parts of me then it is to trust, be deceived, and hurt my own personal self.

[Sannah]

Griffe, I'm so glad that you went to therapy!

[wanttoheal]

((((((((((((((Griffe)))))))))) I'm so glad you went to therapy too! I know it's hard but you did it.

I struggle sometimes with people not understanding. I keep saying, it's too hard, I can't do it, etc, but then when people see me, they see me doing things and being okay even if I have no memory of it. It makes it really hard sometimes because I feel like they just can't see. But the truth is that we are doing, even if we feel like we can't. It's also hard sometimes because it's almost like the body and brain don't know how to take a break and do self care sometimes because of it.

Hang in there griffe. We're glad you're here.

[silentandscared]

(((((((((((Griffe)))))))))))

so pleased for you that you made it to T.

Yes it is hard, l am only one step on this path, but we have to believe that althouh it is hard and we hurt real bad ..........its WILL be worth it in the end.

As for peoples understanding l htink l ave now reached a point where l dont ask for it any more and then hopefully it will hurt less when they dont understand.

Keep up he good work and know that we are here not just for your successes but for your tough and confused days too

In my thoughts
Stay safe and do good self care
Mandyxx

[multipixie9]

griffe, kudos buddy for getting to T time. just recently i began seeing in print that we do tend to have lots of fighting and scrapping around inside as everyone tries to get his/her needs met and that makes a lot of chaos and pain and fatigue because we use precious energy against each other instead of working together. BUT, i think you are doing something smart when you barter and work to get what you guys need. i've just stopped being mean to my alts in the last half year. i didn't even realize what i was doing and how i was hurting littles who don't deserve it, they deserve my help and kindness. sorry to just keep going on...

you are doing some good things and i'm sorry it is hard. it will get better just don't quit. that's the big deal advice, don't quit!! yeah, i was hoping for something more profound myself. but just dont quit is it! hugs pack we're proud of you.

leslie and her pixie pals