[Kalamity]

I've read some descriptions of "dissociating" and they don't match with what happens to me but my therapist and others still say that is what's happening to me.

For many years I have experienced something that is sort of like blacking out or sort of like sleeping. It used to happen during school, it would happen at [church], it has happened while I've been driving, it has happened while attending a DBT group, it's happened during job interviews, and a number of other situations.

Sometimes it starts like a panic attack, sometimes I just feel kind of odd. My mouth goes dry and I get tunnel vision. I start feeling tired and heavy. I can feel my eyes closing, like when you're really tired. Eventually it's as if I were asleep. The difference is that I can hear certain things. Like when this happened in group I could hear every time the group leader used one specific word but I couldn't hear anything else. Even though everything is shut out I'm aware enough to know when to come out of this state. As the group was coming to a close my eyes opened and I became fully aware again. While in the state I'm sort of aware of time. I know that time is passing, I even know where I'm at.

It turns out though that I do not actually close my eyes though. They are wide open and to other people I appear to be paying attention to what's going on.

Can anyone confirm for me whether this is dissociating? Can anyone relate at all? Did I even post this in the right place?

Thanks

Sweetcrusader knows more about dissociating but this is what happens to me when I am confronted. I fade into the background even though I appear alert and can respond.

[kimmydawn]

dissociation takes many forms and to many different degrees. this does sound like dissociation to me. i think maybe you could further read and find similar situations...

be safe and welcome!

kd

[SweetCrusader]

The therapist you are working with is the best one to answer this question. They have training that the rest of us don't, and they know your situation better.

That said, it DEFINITELY sounds to me like you are dissociating. As kd said, dissociation can take many forms. Somewhere in this forum is a thread where I posted a list of some types of dissociation.

"Blacking out" or "sort of like sleeping" are both kinds of dissociation. So is tunnel vision in response to anxiety. Feeling tired, having trouble focusing, etc. The interesting thing about dissociation is that it often cannot be detected by people outside yourself. Sometimes it can, like when a person is obviously "spaced out." And also, some people are better at recognizing dissociation in others. My therapist, for instance, is GREAT at it.

Dissociation is really not uncommon and it is a response to stress. Some of us use it more often than others, and some to a larger extent than others. It sounds like you might be one who uses dissociation to cope with a number of different difficult situations.

Sometimes the "descriptions" of dissociating don't quite describe the feeling of the experience, but for a person who understands what dissociation is, it's not that difficult to identify in most situations. That would include people like therapists, and dissociators who have come to understand and recognize their own dissociation. It seems pretty clear to me that this is what's happening to you. Whenever you feel foggy, disconnected from the world, blank, tired (for no good reason), dizzy (out of nowhere), far away, unreal, etc, there is a good chance you are dissociating.

I hope this helps. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Angela

[RhysMadison]

Definitely a form of dissociation. Some people feel themselves drifting away, others just wake up in a new situation. I get both unfortunately. Depending on who is out at that time & why they came out, etc. I'm DID though. But as others said, dissociation is common, normal. When it interferes w/ your life, that's when it's a disorder. I've drifted only to reawake at the close of something or when my husband walks into the room. It's a deep defense mechanism we have here inside. Nobody can see that they come out. So one's on constant alert to notify us in a sense when "real" people are present.
Hope that helps some. Welcome to the group too!
Love,
RhysMadison

[Lauren1214]

Oh, I'm so glad you posted! that's pretty much what I experience also. I get really sleepy, not the kind you can fight. Most of the time, I give in... I also get tunnel vision and certain sounds are very much intensified. In addition, I start getting this wavy sensation all over my head (I guess it's in my brain...) which is really tough to describe. It takes me a while to feel grounded again, and once it's triggered, i sort of get aftershocks. It's good to see someone else describing what I go through. Thanks!

[Rapunzel]

There are so many ways that people dissociate. I'm not sure if you need more descriptions, but I experience it a few ways, some that I didn't recognize as dissociation until recently. The first thing that I realized was dissociation was when someone asks me what I am staring at, or why I am staring at them, and I had no awareness, was not looking at anything, and have no explanation of where I was or what I was thinking about, but I sure wasn't present. More frequently, I'll be driving somewhere and before I know it, I'm past where I was supposed to turn (having forgotten to turn off), or I arrive at the wrong destination, or just realize that I'm on the way to the wrong destination. One that I didn't know was dissociation until recently (I called it an "auditory processing delay) is when someone is talking to me and I don't catch what they said until after I have already answered their question, usually not the way I would have if I had heard the question, and then they react to my answer and I finally realize what they asked and have to try to explain what happened.

[misty]

I believe what you are experiancing is dissociation.
Larks

[Kalamity]

Thank you everyone who replied. Your input is appreciated.

I need to talk to my therapist about it more but I had mentioned what happens to me a number of times before and I'd swear that whatever name he gave to my condition, it was not dissociating. It was only after I spoke about it in group that my therapist then called it dissociating.

I have some issues with paranoia ... sometimes the only way to calm some of my thoughts and the stress is to get feedback from those who have similar experiences. It helps vanquish the paranoia that sometimes consumes me.

Anyway. This has sufficiently calmed me.