dissociating

<font color="green"> I don't believe I have any alters but I lose time; up to a couple of hours at times. Usually I am still where I started at but sometimes I have sort of continued on my way. I seem to lose stuff often I think I spaced and put it away whereever seemed right at that time. I have 'spaced out' while driving and only came to when I was stopped by a cop. I was doing at least 86 mph in a 55 mph and the accelerater was on the floor.

How can I know when I am gonna space out? What can I do to avoid it? I know if I am having flashbacks or intrusive thoughts that can trigger me to space out. But generally I realize I have taken a leave of abscence when I 'wake up.' </font>

Catching yourself before you space out or dissociate is the hardest part of the process for me. I know some of my triggers but often I am unable to keep from dissociating. I only know I've done it when I realize I have lost time. Often I don't know who was in control but experience tells me it is one particual alter.

If you have questions about alters and loosing time you may want to talk to a therapist that works with dissociation. They can help you figure out whose in control when you loose time.

Good luck and keep posting.

I dont know if this we help but my T is teaching me grounding techniques and they are helpful when I feel like I am falling away I have to become very aware of the body and try to feel the chair with the body and the floor and stuff like that Hope this helps

Fi

Usually there is some sort of "feeling" or "sense" you'll experience. If you train yourself to be aware, you'll find that before you diss. your body had given you warning signals. I know when I'm stressed, I'll diss. so I try not to be stressed. One of my signs is scratching my palms w/ the same hand fingernails. Subtle, so I don't draw attention to myself but also if one knows, they would notice. Another is shaking my hand like I'm antsy. My husband &amp; parents know to look for those signs &amp; when they see them, to help me stay focused. If that doesn't work &amp; I go anyways, at least they'll know. I had always told them to look at my eyes. If I have a glazed look, it means "I'm" not out anymore.
If you're comfortable w/ a person, you can maybe have them tell you what they saw before you diss.
Love,
RhysMadison

Fairygirl- If you are willing, could you share some techniques w/ us? I had learned the same. To grasp onto a chair, to actually feel it & to make sure you keep feeling it & not just touching it. What I do more now though is get my dog, hold her head, look at her eyes & tell her to Keep mommy in reality. She's very well-behaved & is mommy's girl! She helps me stay focused 'cos she's a living/ breathing animal.
Love,
RhysMadison

The most important thing is to stay safe. Everybody has different triggers and ways they can use to detect these triggers and perhaps stay grounded.

It is very hard to say just what is happening to you.

Ypu appear to need someone you can trust and that can help you feel and stay safe. A T would be my suggestion along with some friend or family member you can trust. The above advice is good but it is very hard to go it alone.

Please get help and stay safe.

gill sans Since long when I was first diagnosed; DO NOT drive until you know how many "you"'s there are; have somebody with you "just in case"; <font color="red"> </font> MOST IMPORTANTLY: KNOW WHO KNOWS HOW TO DRIVE!!! A note from a veteran of wrecked cars et.al.

<font color="green"> I have found if I am eating or drinking something I can stay in better focus and not as much chance of checking out. I found some candied almonds I love to crunch and last long enough for the driving I have to do. I have been called on the glazing over - staring into space behavior but the auto pilot seems just that I continue whatever I was doing until it is done. This was the first time I got a ticket for driving on autopilot but I know I have done it many times. Usually it was safe enough.No one has ever suggested I might have alters. I have been in therapy for almost 4 years, so i think would have come up. T knows I dissociate.</font>

dalila,

I started out spacy and dissociative. I knew I was 'out of it' to some extent but never dreamt I was this split. Therapy for me over the years didn't involve alters or talk of DID.

Years of therapy were just about getting to a place where I was ready, safe enough, stable enough to look at my dissociation and the severity of it. Like you I became aware of losing time in larger chunks, started losing mail, started getting lost while driving, all things that HAD NOT been happening before while I was spaced out driving.

Not saying this would happen in your case but letting you know that I did not enter therapy years ago with any idea of DID but years later here we are.

I still cannot always tell when I'm going to be 'checking out'. It is hit and miss learning to tell when these 'leave of absences' are going to happen.

Have you read any books on dissociation? There are a couple that are helpful that do not delve into the depths of DID but rather more of the dissociative spectrum.

Good luck. And let's work on keeping that leadfoot a little lighter!

<font color="green"> I haven't read any books on dissociation just the typical books about alters Sybil and one called Suffer the Child, they are both so extreme I can't relate. However after reading here for a while I feel like the dissociating is not so weird. I have a copy of The Courage to Heal and that was where I learned about it. I don't believe I dissociated until my godfather began raping me, I have too many clear memories of the abuse that my mother inflicted to think differently.

I use the cruise control as much as possible to avoid the leadfoot syndrome. </font>

most of us have a difficult time realizing we are in a body that can feel and see and breathe so the t has told us to sit in a chair and just concentrate on where the body ends and the chair begins most of us find this difficult once someone gets that they are supposed to notice everything in the room like the color of the walls and painting and such once you get that then you are supposed to notice all the sounds like breathing and the air conditioner and stuff like that
most of us can do the chair but its very helpful when driving alone Fi used to smack her face but now she can just work on feeling the car and realizing that the body we share is the body she is in is diffcult to realise that outside people dont really see anyone but the body and that has really confused a lot of the kids
KC