[Tormented_Lilah]

* If this post is in the wrong place please inform me, I'm new here...and not entirely sure where to put things. *

I posted a similar post to this one on another website. I've never been diagnosed with any kind of disorder, but I believe that I might have some. Recently there has been a great deal of streess for me in my life...so I'm starting to look for help and forums where I can discuss things.

I am wandering if what I am experiencing is a forum of dissociation and if it it might be one of the disorders I've been looking into as of late...

I have three other " parts " inside that I call different names, whom look different, and whom have different looks. Their names are Ambe, Lee, and Celine. However, unlike most people who have mentioned things along those lines I don't " Black out " or forget things, it's more like I'm watching. Sometiems I think I am faking and that I can just stop behaving " The way I am at the time " but am unable to.

Another thing I've noticed as of late ( with the help of my friend...) Is that I've been craving a great amount of attention...I tend to push people away and at the same time try to pull them to me. I also tend to get attached easy to specific people and my life seems like one big dream.

I have yet to see a therapist about these issues since I am fifteen and I have to wait for my father to confirm it. ( I'm on a waiting list supposably ). If nothing happens within the next week I plan on looking into more information to see if I can't get myself help.

Is it possible for someone my age to have a dissociative disorder... I think I might be either DID or BPD. My friend assumes much of the same thing.

Another thing I out to state is that when I was a child I was verbally and physically abused. I can't remeber any of the abuse before I was 11 though, but I know it occured because I've always been scared of my father. I fel as though some of my memories are missing, not just the abuse ones either. Also, My parents divorced when I was one and I lived through two more divorces after that. I was always " different " from the other kids and " Distant ", and my so called friends always played " Ditch Amber " on me. ( Please don't think of this as a pity cry, I'm just trying to state my past so as you have a little knowledge of what I base all this on ( my issues ) )....

Please share your advice and experiences that you have had. Have any of you experienced anything similar....and, what do you advise I do ? Also, if I do go see a therapist...what am I suppost to do and or say.

Thankyou...

[RhysMadison]

Have some of your questions been answered for you?
I'll tell you a little 'bout me. I have DID & sometimes I blank out but mostly I was co-conscious. I just feel like a different person. I liken it to being a puppet. My body's doing things or my mouth's saying things that I have no control over. I was a dissociative since age 7 (I'm 30 now). I was also diagnosed w/ BPD but was told that since it's a pers. disorder, it can be curable. Unlike dissociative. Then a good T told me not to focus on the disorders or labels. Just to be you. Don't care what you're supposed to be or not supposed to be.
Re: the therapist, if you have a good T, they'll steer the conversation so you won't have to figure out what to say or not to say. & what I've been told by mine which has helped me so much is that no feeling is wrong. Whatever we say or feel, there's no right or wrong in therapy. A good T will go on what you do say & work from there. Never settle neither. If you don't click w/ your T, find a new one. I've been in & out of therapy for 15 years & for 2 years now I found a really good one. Don't settle for anything less.
This is just my story & my opinions. Just thought I'd share.
Love,
MarinaJoi

[misty]

Hi Lilah Welcome! It don't matter to me if you have any sort of dx from docs or not if you know others inside then I know you know what it is like and glad you can relate with or without a dx's.
Larks

[Tormented_Lilah]

what's a DX...?Thankyou everybody...I'd reply in specific to your post...but my head is throbbing, and I'm very sleepy...please don't think Im making an excuse...I enjoy reading the replies...so thankyou... .....

[nothemama8]

dx means diagnosious, sweetie

[Tormented_Lilah]

oo....thankyou v.v