[soulfulgrrl]

my heart hurts so much
this week 30 years ago i was made to help the owner of this body survive the unspeakable and i find myself very low... bottom dweller low... i'm not suicidal but i wouldn't give a crap if i got hit by a mack truck and died.

just thought i should give acknowledgement to my lowness... maybe it will help me... doubtful but im grasping at straws...

Rane

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((((Rane)))))))))))))

I so understand. I've been there many times, and though it might not seem like it at the time, it did help me to acknowledge and sit with it.

Acknowledging and sitting with that acknowledgment and pain helps acceptance, which helps overall in healing.

That said, it flat-out hurts, angers, and a host of other painful feelings.

Also, acknowledging helps in understanding across the board with the system, but it's usually another thing that helps in time as well. In the moment it's still so hard.

Just know I understand. You're not alone and talking can help through these times.

I'm so sorry you've suffered.

KD

[MINIME]

Im sorry. Im sorry that it hurts.

[soulfulgrrl]

Originally Posted by kimmydawn

(((((((((((((Rane)))))))))))))

I so understand. I've been there many times, and though it might not seem like it at the time, it did help me to acknowledge and sit with it.

Acknowledging and sitting with that acknowledgment and pain helps acceptance, which helps overall in healing.

That said, it flat-out hurts, angers, and a host of other painful feelings.

Also, acknowledging helps in understanding across the board with the system, but it's usually another thing that helps in time as well. In the moment it's still so hard.

Just know I understand. You're not alone and talking can help through these times.

I'm so sorry you've suffered.

KD

the depth of pain i feel right now is astonishing... this is the first time i have ever looked at it... felt it.... acknowledged it... usually i hide away and run... i want out of this pain for good and the only way to do it is to sit ... feel ... acknowledge ... and NOT RUN and HIDE...

[notz]

Soulful Girl,

I hear your strength coming through. Beautiful.

notz

[multipixie9]

soulful girl,

the level of pain is astonishing but when you get past that a little, i hope you will notice the astounding job you have done for your host. you took unbearable pain for her so she could survive. you are a hero as much as you think you are lowest of the low. only a hero would bear so much pain for someone else. you can't hear my sincere applause in cyberspace, but it is here. i know what that kind of pain feels like, i've been there and i struggle too with wanting it to be healed and over. hang in there and keep talking to us, ok?

leslie and the pixies

[soulfulgrrl]

Originally Posted by multipixie9

soulful girl,

the level of pain is astonishing but when you get past that a little, i hope you will notice the astounding job you have done for your host. you took unbearable pain for her so she could survive. you are a hero as much as you think you are lowest of the low. only a hero would bear so much pain for someone else. you can't hear my sincere applause in cyberspace, but it is here. i know what that kind of pain feels like, i've been there and i struggle too with wanting it to be healed and over. hang in there and keep talking to us, ok?

leslie and the pixies

thank you, i am really trying to be ok with myself. it is hard to sit in this hurtful place. i appreciate your kindness...

im just fighting the urge to die... fighting the urge to hurt physically in order to get through the emotional pain...

[kimmydawn]

I'm so glad that you feel safe enough to let us sit with you through this...to hold your hand while you sit...as much as we can.

Oh, how I understand that pain, but I do promise you that it won't always hurt this much. If it gets entirely too much to bear, please remember to use your skills to get the distance you need for a time. It's important to do sometimes, OK? We have our skills for a reason, and healing doesn't equal not using them at all in my book...so use them as you need to, if not how you'd "like to".

My prayer is a measure of peace for you this night.

KD

[1oxbowgirl]

The pain goes away bit by bit, it never seems to hurry along but drags time slowly making you wonder if it will ever go away. Then slowly bit by bit the burdens you carry fall by the wayside and the sun peeks though the gloom and it is then that you know you will heal and your pain will start to melt away.
I am deep in trying to understand the past and my days seem endless at times. But I remind myself and others that if we survived before then we will survive again. My heart goes out to you. Plase don't let go. We are all sitting here waiting for you. Keep coming back for in some of my darkest days the friends I made here on the forum kept me sane and kept me wanting to live. 1Girl

[soulfulgrrl]

i hate feeling like i have nothing left to live for... i know i do but that is how i feel... ya know?

[1oxbowgirl]

Ya, I know that feeling.