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#1
Dec 19, 2008, 03:22 PM
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Been dissociative, makes us seen ourselves like out of focus. Many times we want to see ourselves like every one else, but definitely we are special. Many people see us in focus, but we know that we are out of focus.
What do you think about that? Are you out or in focus? Please replay Gennoah
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#2
Dec 20, 2008, 01:57 AM
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It's hard sometimes for me to see myself as others see me. I've been trained and conditioned to believe certain things about myself and it can be a struggle to fight against that. Is that what you mean?
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#3
Dec 20, 2008, 04:06 AM
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I am especially struggling with an OUT OF FOCUS feeling..
..............God has healed me from the worst of my mental illness.. And now I turn to helping others, being a _psychiatric_ nurse.. only to find out yesterday that my clinical assignment is in the same hospital as I was hospitalized in the psychiatric wing _myself_.. I know people will see me in my scrubs and see, justa nurse, a sweet nurse with my broad smile.. Yet deep down i am so out of focus with this...I am a nurse with a story, a nurse, with a past................................  a rainy past...
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#4
Dec 20, 2008, 09:28 AM
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Quote:
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#5
Dec 20, 2008, 10:30 AM
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I feel out of focus often too. I think ALL forms of dissociation take place so we can avoid the terror that otherwise would completely disable us, and being "out of focus" is just one way of not knowing what our thoughts are so that we avoid the bad thoughts. Well, my thought for the day.
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Now if thou would'st When all have given him o'er From death to life Thou might'st him yet recover -- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631 |
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#6
Dec 20, 2008, 11:09 AM
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To be honest I am not quite sure what you mean by being in or out of focus. Can you explain further? Pugnose and her peeps
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"Happiness is not a matter of events, it depends upon the tides of the mind." |
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#7
Dec 27, 2008, 07:26 PM
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i know i feel out of focus when i know i am not in control. i am there, i see and hear and feel, but i can't react or respond. my body is reacting and responding but it is not me, it is someone else. i am not dx with DID, just started therapy for the first time a couple months ago. just saw a real pdoc for the firrst time a couple weeks ago. but i spend a lot of time feeling out of focus. and then there is the time i cannot account for. i missed therapy last week because i thought it was monday till something came on tv at 8 pm that comes on tuesday. not sure where monday went
 . i do understand out of focus though. lost
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love yourself first, the rest will follow |
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#8
Dec 27, 2008, 09:45 PM
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I am not exactly sure what you mean, but I took this literally-- many times during the day, I will look around, and everything I'm looking at seems like it is out of focus-- particularly other people.
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#9
Dec 28, 2008, 12:02 AM
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for me it is like being in a vapor, or for--not being real. I'm not physically "there." I feel out of my body & don't remember things--days at a time--even what we had for dinner & I made it & served it & acted "normal" as no one said anything, but I don't remember it!
I feel "weird." I look down a lot, apparently, my therapist has told me. I'm doing EMDR. She has told me to look up & focus on physical objects around me, especially large, heavy ones to try to make me realize I am "here" & "real." It is just a weird feeling--to not be "real." Hard to explain. Like I'm in a vapor...fog... |
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#10
Dec 28, 2008, 01:23 AM
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It is my deep feeling that is o.k., even expected to feel weird. Life is weird. Physical and emotional growth is weird. I am weird.
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#11
Dec 28, 2008, 05:57 PM
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everyone of us is weird in their own perspective, what maybe is normal for me is not normal for you making it weird.
so .. everyone is weird in their on world. maybe we are not weird maybe we are not normal like the rest pretend us to be. tc hon Quote:
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#12
Dec 28, 2008, 05:59 PM
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yes , want.. that one of the reason I wrote this
tc (gennoah)  Quote:
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#13
Dec 28, 2008, 06:13 PM
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I used to work in a adult day care center, and next to it t was a psychiatric hosp. The personal from that unit used to have lunch together
in their facility. During a crisis I had to be hospitalized in the same hosp, i was scared ,terrified, and I did not know how to even look at them. I had two option or never get out of the hosp or deal with it. I'm not saying it was easy, let me tell you... I cried like a baby during days. I did'nt want to go into the dinner room of the hosp, I didn'twant to see no one. I had to take the option of taking care of myself. Right now don't care about what people may say, if not what great opportunity I have to help others Quote:
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#14
Jan 02, 2009, 03:34 AM
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Hmmm...Well, I'm always "out of focus." More as if I am present yet at the same time not present. When I laugh or smile it's always someone else, but I'm always very far away watching the world through a misty veil. Sometimes though, it's worse and everything just kind of blurs away into the surroundings, but no one really notices anything different about me. Is that what you mean?
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