[turquoisesea]

you know... its really frustrating when you wake up and aren't yourself, and the rest of the day you go back and forth and back and forth so much that memory hazes.
And, that I have gotten to the point today that i felt like I wasn't the owner of myself... that some other part of me was more there than I was.

Frustrating that when I WAS there, I sat there shaking, afraid that she'd be there again, that she would be in an unstable spot and hurt us, not wanting to be not there.

Frustrated that they seem to be getting more and more ... I don't know.... real. And part of me wants to wish them all away. Coping mechanism... yes... better than others i've used.. yes.... but also ... having hard time dealing


Sick + this = BLEH.
and at the very least could they at least not be mad at me for not "caring about them" or being mad at them?
*as one of them starts to whiningly complain*

sorry for the rant. *wipes forhead*

[Rasta Rascal]

Hi Turquoisesea.

Sorry you’re having a hard day. I know how difficult it is to go through the day feeling like a busy railroad switchyard with inner parts competing with you and with one another for time in the body. “Wishing them away” is just that – a wish. So, what can help? Try talking with your inner family. Acknowledge each of them as part of you and respect the fact that they have wants and needs. Let your therapist help you find a way to organize time that allows parts to be present without disrupting your life. Inner cooperation is the key to outer tranquility. There is no miracle here and it takes time, energy, determination and a lot of courage to get everyone on board. Don’t be disheartened, things will get better.

[Sannah]

[wanttoheal]

(((((((((((((((((turquoisesea)))))))))))))))))))))))

[multipixie9]

turquoisesea,

what you posted is definitely NOT whingeing. i don't even call it ranting exactly. you are communicating with people here who care and who understand.

plus if you are whingeing then that means i am too and i always hated that word.

i need the place and the freedom to try to get out of my head and onto the computer what is eating my lunch. more and more often i just can't keep all this stuff inside of me. i need to say stuff for myself and my others and i need to read the stuff other people post on here. it is incredibly VALIDATING!

try to not be so hard on yourself, ok? i'll try too.

leslie and her pixies

[SongBirdandDaisy]

It is hard. I hoped that ranting helped

[turquoisesea]

*hugs everyone*
thanks so much for your replies... it did help to type it out
I've learned that holding in feelings is no good, causes more problems than its worth

thanks so much everyone