[genn]

I feel I die when all these mix emotions want to take over my life.
Is so hard to keep your feet on earth. We do things that we regreat and the pain will remind us of what we did.

Many times we prefer to be dead,.., just to take the pain away even we know is not the right way to do . Who does not want all the pain to goes away?, is so hard to painful to deal with. How can others do it? why I feel I am not even close? will this continue all my life?

I just feel I just......



genn

[Poohbear13]

Genn~

I feel your pain. Mixed emotions are one of the hardest things to deal with. I feel like I am in the same place. Please don't give up. Maybe you should talk with your T? I am told this pain and confusion won't last the rest of your life. You just have to work through it (I know it is easier said then done). Don't give up.

[50guy]

genn;

I've been feeling the same for many months now. Sometimes I just don't care what happens. I have a stressful job and my marriage is somewhat strained from the things I have done. I am full of regret, emotionless and worried most of the time.

I feel like disappearing..........just walk away from it all, go somewhere that nobody knows me and hideout.....forever.

[turquoisesea]

anyone would want to escape the pain. Death isn't the right way to escape it, because what we REALLY want is more than non-pain. We're just hurting so much that sometimes we can't see that.

So ... we have to trust there is a way to get rid of the pain .

sending hugs

[Jewels]

genn...i know it feels that way but it aint gonna last 4evr...an it seems lika lota us r goin thru the same things...not ta minimize ur pain, but ta let u know othrs understand...we certainly do...an for the 1st time i think yahna does too...i hope u know tonite how valuable u r, how utterly lovely u r, an how amazing u r...we will b prayin for u if thats k with u..

abbi of jewels

[silentandscared]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Genn and all}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

oh hunny i'm so sorry that you are feeling this way , locked in all the hurt and confusion. Yes we all want and need the pain and torment of these memories that haunt us to stop but death is not the answer hunny.......we can and do fight this day in and day out........we sometimes fail to see rtha many many times that we come so close to that edge , to the reasoning in our mind that death seems like the only option............ in our hearts we dont want to be dead, its so final what we want is an end to the terrible pain ..... it can and it will happen hunny, we have to believe that!!!! we have to continue to slowly slowly walk our way through our hurt and pain so that one day we will live again without all this hurt within a system that makes us whole and complete.
Hunny we are strong ....... we survived, got this far so we must be.................sometimes we just cant see all of this
reach out to us hunny and we will continue to try to walk this long and bumpy road.....we can do this ..... believe it hunny and draw strength from us all as we do during our lowest and weakest moments

We love you all hunny.......we all matter......'fire' and 'water' hunny remember.............. DONT GIVE UP cus we are not alone hunny......we are with you right there at your side holding onto you so that you dont fall.......grab hold of us hunny.........WE CAN DO THIS..........HOPE is there hunny

love you all
Mandyxx

[Hunny]

Genn

I'm sad you are sad ((((((((((((Genn)))))))))))))

I want to help you fight off this confusion and sadness:

HOPE for you!

Ice

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{{Genn}}}}}}}}}}}}} I can't pretend to know your deep pain and I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. No one deserves to suffer like this.

The only thing I can say to you right now is that, right now, your life is as if you are in a long, dark tunnel. There is an exit as sure as there was an entrance. The only way out is to keep putting one foot in front of the other and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are not walking this tunnel by yourself.

I've seen how much people here love you. I've spoken with you and know what a beautiful, lovely person you are. We are here with you, walking beside you, caring for you and helping you as you take each uncertain step. Hear our voices encouraging you and take comfort in that you are not alone.

It WILL get better, Genn. Just don't give up! It's okay to take a break now and then, but always keep hope alive. Rest and get up again and keep putting one foot in front of the other. You will make it!

Know that I pray for you many times a day; as often as I think of you and you have been on my mind quite a bit. You're a lovely person to get to know. I'm enjoying every bit of it.

Onward and upward, Genn. You'll make it!

[multipixie9]

others have said it genn, what we want is easing of the pain more than death. the suicide song begins again when we think maybe it will always hurt THIS bad. that is NOT TRUE. it will NOT alway hurt this bad, be this confusing, awful, scary, painful. no, it will not stay this sharply painful and scary. in time it gets better, progress is made and we find our way, bit by bit.

it used to be so awful for me so often, sometimes i got lost in the pain and panicked thinking i might never get out of pain again. ooh, it was such a nightmare. but, i did get out. help did come. slowly i built trust with my others. bottom line is this: JUST DON'T GIVE UP. if you just keep on keeping on it will begin to heal, grow and improve.

the dissociation that saved us as children seems to hang us as adults. those coping skills are not adequate for the adult life and they begin to break down and life turns chaotic and scary. with help you can learn new ways, heal old wounds and find a new life. you will get there...in time. just don't quit. hugs if you want them,

leslie and her pixies

[DianasClan]

I know how you feel and it sucks. I dont have any new info to share but I just wanted to offer you some hugs.

Diana