Should SHE Have?

What has she gone and done? - she wants something that she may not be able to have (or shouldn't have right now) - as the host person is a married woman... Now what?

Me & I are confused..... and she is HAPPY.

Can you tell us a little more about what happened. If it is a relationship can you break it off?

The relationship has not yet taken off, but she is setting it up - chatting online with a younger guy (a very nice looking guy at that may I add) - she is lonely and chatting fulfills some thing in her that home does not give, or no longer gives.

I know she just wants to be happy and loved, and her (the host body) seems to be in a stagnant twenty-three year old marriage from our pov and well its less than exciting to she - its just not meeting she's needs.

SHE is a name btw... in case that was confusing.

The thought of actually meeting this young man feels both thrilling and exciting... not to mention the sexual sensation that is brought about at the thought of what might be - could be if they meet.

we have been in that position. it is not a good one. have you talked to T about it?
wi

Rhapsody~

I can understand your feelings. I have a similar part who wants to hook up with men too. I am doing everything in my power to keep her from doing so but yesterday she tried started flirting with a co worker. I am not sure what to do. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Pooh

We are torn on this idea. We have a clan member who is like She. This clan member supports She but I don't necessarily agree. When one is married there are other people that must be taken into consideration. I agree with Iris… You need to talk to your T and decided as a group what action should be taken either way.

We are here to support you in your choice.

Denise of Diana's Clan

Thanks for the replies... We have talked to her T about this issue a few years back and the T tried to help us find out if it was "she" or "her - host body" that wanted another man... but we were never able to come to a conclusion as to who, or both (and) we tried to figure out what part Her (host body) had to play in all this if any thing as there was pain and loneliness in her life to at that moment in time.

IMO - harmless flirting is fine, but chatting with possible thoughts of meeting is bad, as meeting could lead to other things - sexual things.

Sounds like it's two against one? Me and I can keep it to chatting and just thoughts of meeting but probably stop the meeting from happening. Thinking about meeting can be enough fun and excitement without it really happening. Think of reading a book and how the book can make you feel things without anything really being done?

That is sooooo true, but what happens if she connects with someone that is more than two hours away and they meet up in town - We are afraid of what might take place sexually if he kisses her (she has been needing for so long).

And would you know it, but after we posted this thread her husband came home and the two of them were talking and her husband made a joke that she (his wife) needed a boyfriend.... well "she" jumped all on that topic and asked if "she" gets to pick him out - then she went on to say that he (her husband) could not have a girlfriend because he would surely forget about her then... he laughed at the thought.

We have been thinking about asking him how he would feel if her (host body) started chatting with some males online since he is always busy with his RPG online... he would not know that it was us asking - he would think if was her asking.

We helped "she" stays away from him today..... other than the first short email she sneaked by us this morning.
.. we think "she" maybe feeling a little guilty now.

i understand lonliness so well, but the abuse in childhood doesn't make me feel tempted to go outside of the 28 year marriage we are in though it is lonely and not fun for either partner of the marriage.

BUT, sexual escapades outside the marriage would probably lead to a lot of pain and problems. i sure understand the frustrations and longings, but it is playing with fire. i urge caution out of concern for you and for the men involved - "she" is not really free to pursue a relationship honorably and if she does so without honor where will it lead. if he is open to a fling he will probably hurt all of you in the end. i guess i'm urging caution. fire burns, what it first warms it finally destroys. that's just where i am at on this kind of thing.
concernedly,

leslie and her pixies

I totally agree with that. One of my alters (I am not sure her name) had a one night stand with a guy I barly knew while I was engaged to another guy. It nearly destroied me the feelings that it dreged up. I became very self destructive. There is just no good to come from it. Please be careful.

Diana

Thanks for the reminder of the unseen dangers - all is calm with in, "she" is resting.

I am glad to hear that She is resting. Please keep us posted.

Denise of Diana's Clan

All has been going well still and I think "she" has even started to think of the wrongs that could happen if "she" was to follow through with "she" feelings and yet tonight her need for someone to hold her is pulling at "she" thoughts again.

Thank you for the update. I hope that "She" thinks long and hard about what effect her actions have on everyone else. I understand the need to be held and to feel needed but one must remember that she is not the only one that counts.

Hugs to all,
Denise of the Clan

I think the sh** may hit the fan when Rhapsody's computer guy checks her computer out this weekend... as I have been a bad girl and they are going to see my online history and they (husband included) will probably blame it Rhapsody... what to do now?

signed by
SHE

shhhhhhhhhh she dont know i am here. bye

Sometimes honesty is the only way to go. I dont know what will happen but we are here for you both.

Denise of the Clan

Nope... dont think I can do that - how do you explain that your wife (but not really your wife) has been on a date site with a paid account looking at and talking with guys in the area that are looking for dates or long term female friendship.

Oh how stupid I am when I let lost emotions get the best of me, i react before i think.... I hated the decision the moment after I made it.

Crossing fingers that nothing will be said.... and the other stuff can be tossed aside as normal human behavior that every one does online.

SHE is BAD

signed
SHE

Well the first thing I would recommend is to cancle the paid account. There, in our opinion, is nothing worng with talk to someone. It is only if we act upon these discussions that a problem occurs. Mind you this is our opinion. I am sure the husband may have a different one. Second I would stop corosponding with other males for the moment as this may pose a problem with the husband. And it would look better if you said that you had stopped this behavior. Please keep us posted on how things work out.

Denise of the Clan

Thanks for the advice.... and while I would love to cancel the membership I cannot until the computer is fixed... as this is Rhapsody's sons laptop, therefore, we cannot pull that website up on here - the membership is over in May some time.

signed by
SHE

Guess we are screwed.... gotta go. we are giving her a headache and body pain with all this hiding her eyes from seeing this post. she is going to sleep.

signed by
SHE

I brought the possibility up an open marriage for the rest of this year while Rhapsody was talking with her husband about their up and coming 23rd anniversary on Monday - well they were talking about the things that needs fix and the talk they need to have with all the nick picking and crappiness that has been going on lately and I took the shot when I had an opening.

Her husband - said NO - because one of them could catch some thing and possibly die.
I said we could use protection to prevent that and he was still against it.... i wonder was he against it because he loves his wife or because he is afraid of catching a std that might kill him?

I thinks he is afraid of what others might think of him ......

Any who - I think I am doing her a favor - as she is lonely in this marriage even if she does love him. She wants to be loved that I know and I would not mind a little of it my self.

signed by
SHE