[Linni]

I was diagnosed DDNOS three years ago. I have always perceived myself in parts and pieces, some of which I know better than others, but I've always felt I knew of all my parts.

Until recently.

I am familiar with losing time, particularly during times of pressure I float in and out. But lately, I lose extraordinary amounts of time, hours upon hours, full days or nights, and I have no recall whatsoever for these huge chunks of time. When I "come to" myself, I feel as though I've come out of anesthesia. There is Nothing. Blank.

My husband has recounted to me behavior that is outrageous and does not fit with any part of me.

Last week I snapped out of it to find myself fifteen miles out of town, on a dirt road, lost. I've lost driving privileges, both an aggravation and a relief.

Where do I go when this happens? How can this be happening now? I ask my T and get a textbook definition of trauma and dissociation which is not helpful. She does not understand my fear.

Please, if anyone has an answer or comment I appreciate it.

--Linni

[bipolar_bear]

Losing time can be very scary. It sounds like you are taking some precaustions to keep yourself safe. That is so important. If you don't have to drive and it is unsettling for you then maybe that is a method to keep you safe. Can your t work with you to meet these alters you have not yet met? Maybe then you can start to piece together what has been happening. Know you are not alone with what you are experiencing and your feelings of fear well understood. Please take care of you and stay safe.

BB

[multipixie9]

Linni,

I am d.i.d. and I do know what it is like to lose time or to come on here and find something I wrote and it is unfamiliar to me. It is unsettling to say the least. I do not lose as much time as you mention or find myself in strange places. It would really bother me if I did find myself lost like that.

It sounds like your T needs to hear how this is upsetting to you and make a plan to help your unknown parts find a way to communicate with you. Something has changed if you are missing much larger blocks of time and maybe these parts are ready to talk about their part in your life which could help you understand some things more.

I'm glad you are coming here to talk and hope you find the support and help you want from us here. hugs if you want them,

leslie and her pixies

[DianasClan]

Originally Posted by multipixie9

Linni,

It sounds like your T needs to hear how this is upsetting to you and make a plan to help your unknown parts find a way to communicate with you. Something has changed if you are missing much larger blocks of time and maybe these parts are ready to talk about their part in your life which could help you understand some things more.

I agree with the Pixies. You really need to stress to your T how unsettling this is to you and why you feel that way. I also agree that maybe these parts are ready to be known. Although it is a scary thing ( I loose large blocks of time all the time) it can also be a good thing becuase it may mean a new step in recovery.



Diana

[Poohbear13]

Linni:

I have lost large chuncks of time as well. One time I had a part drive me to the house where most of the abuse took place and I had know idea how I got there. I also loose time when I am in my therapist office and my parts are out. I am learning to be co-present with them but I am not successful all the time. I also loose time when I am at home. Lately, I have lost time at work but amazingly my work still gets done.

I am a firm believer in talking and stressing to your therapist the importance this is to you and how scared you are.

Take care

we agree with everyone above. safety is utmost and your T needs to understand how important that is to you and your system.
our T didn't realize how "unsafe" my littles were until a very young one came out and got lost. It happened a couple of times.

WE put a safety plan into place. Got in touch with the little ones that were out. Identified the triggers that caused them to front and react....also a list of phone numbers someone could call and a cell phone.

we are not losing time now and we are more aware of each other.

i really know how scary it can be.
wi