***feels like i am floating***

Think living in this house triggers me, cuz seems like as soon as I came home from being in hospital I started floating again and I didn't float at all while I was there... well maybe once or twice, but not constantly, all-the-time, like at the house.

I can see how your living situation would trigger you. You can work on these things, though, if you want to identify the triggers......

Something I have wondered though...
can a therapist tell me whether I have some kind of dissociative disorder?
like, can she diagnose something? Or does a pdoc have to do that?
Because I mentioned all my symptoms to the pdoc while I was in the unit,
and she like... almost ignored them/me.

(((((((((((Manda))))))))))))) My T specializes in dealing with DID, but although she was certain I had it, she did not diagnose me. She referred me to a psychiatrist she knew. I don't have a lot of memory of that time though, but I know I went to the psychiatrist several times. I'm not completely sure why my T did not diagnose me. Can you talk to your therapist? She will know how to go about finding out what is going on for you, whether it is a dissociative disorder or something else.

(((((((((((((Manda)))))))))) I was thinking about when I see parents, in my house or theirs and it made me think of you at your in-laws. My stress level goes up so high because I am so triggered by parents. When that happens, my dissociative symptoms are more and it doesn't take much in terms of triggers to send me over the edge, either to floaty land above my head or gone completely.

I wish I had some advice for you, but I wanted to let you know we understand. I'm glad husband can get you out of the house a lot. Do in-laws trigger things from the past for you? Sometimes if I can figure out why I am so triggered by someone or something, I can take it off that person and realize it's not them or not that thing, but that person or that thing triggers me to something in my past. Then at times I am able to do self talk to know it's not them, it's my past. I don't know if that makes sense or not but if it does, maybe it will help.

I'm so sorry you are struggling. I hope things calm down for you soon.

I really wish I could figure that out... not that I know of though... living in this house is almost a complete 180* difference between how I was raised.

• in-laws are very loud (lots of yelling) ~ my parents were rather quiet people
• I now have a 24 year old "brother" and 16 year old "sister" ~ was an only child so the whole "sibling rivalry" thing is brand new to me.

So, now that I think about it... maybe I dissociate to kind of "escape" everything? As a coping mechanism? I mean, is that possible?
Can I be doing that without actually knowing it/meaning to? Like subconsciously or whatever??

Manda, do you understand what in your upbringing brought on your issues? Maybe if you start there then you can understand what is triggering you in this household?

umm... no so, I guess I'm screwed

((((((((((((((manda)))))))))))))) Not screwed. It sounds like you are in the first stages of awareness. It just takes time, but now that you are aware that you are struggling, it might be that you start noticing things more. Even if it's just the tone people talk with, etc. It might start to click in your brain.

When I first became aware of some things, I started to notice things but not why they were bothering me. Then slowly, I started noticing that it was out there somewhere in my brain, but unreachable. For instance, originally it seemed like it was a person that seemed to make my brain react and I didn't know why. After that I would notice that it was certain times that that person bothered me. After a while, it clicked that it was a certain word, or a gesture or color, etc. Then I was able to separate that thing from that person.

It doesn't always happen for me, but when it does, it makes things a little more clear. Sometimes I find out why and sometimes I don't, but I've found that just becoming aware has helped a lot.

Hope that made sense. It all just takes time. Please be gentle with yourself during this time. It's a scary process sometimes, but the end result is a step toward peace, imo.

You are not screwed Manda! I agree with everything that Wanttoheal said. Becoming aware is a process and it starts with your decision to get started on it..........

waay out...
flaoting on ceiling...
can't get back
hate this feeling...

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Manda)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I'm sorry you are feeling that way. What can we do to help you through it?

Yahna, the main Jewel

Just floated out of body for no trigger