[onlymedid]

At my workplace there was a spot for a Supervisor, my boss thought I should apply and thinks that I don't push myself enough. So.....I applied and got the job. I was told to come in the next day and start. That was last week.

Well, ever since then my sleep schedule is completely out of whack, I am tired, hubby is away for a few days and there is complete chaos ensuing inside.

Everyone inside is upset because I am going to be looking over other people (at work) when I can't even take care of the insiders. I have not been paying much attention to them as I have been REALLY busy and just exhausted. Even before I got the position I was stressed out at work and not having enough time for anyone inside.

Now, I have the little freaking out.....not wanting to live....feeling VERY sad, lonely and angry all at the same time.

Another little is even getting attitude...and she never even talks to me!

A teen is trying to keep everything in check, but is getting mad at me for not "being the adult" and not "caring for the others the way I should". He is disappointed and says he doesn't even want to look at me!!!

Our wise elder is trying to calm everyone, but even she is telling me that I am taking on too much and that I should back down and go back to my old position. She is, usually, very supportive and positive when it comes to life changes that would be beneficial....so I am surprised by her reaction.

I have no idea what to do. This job does not pay any more than the other job, there may be some need to work from my home, I am going to try to start a family in the next month or two AND we are moving at the end of this month.

I feel like if I go back and say that I want to back down and go back to my old position then I am going to be looked at badly. Then, if I stay in this position, I risk my life being totally flipped upside down and having everything inside go backwards instead of forwards in my progress with my alters.

I am really lost and just....don't know what to do. Any advice or thoughts I might want to consider? I know that I am not in the right frame of mind right now and my thoughts are NOT clear right now.

Thank you.

[wanttoheal]

Every time there is change in my life, whether it is good or bad, there is a bad reaction inside. I tend to lose more time and it seems like I am spending more time when I am out cleaning up messes made when I wasn't.

I have found for me that if I work to find time for inside, I do much better when I'm here and when I have to do things. Sometimes it only takes 30 minutes or so for my brain to settle down (sometimes it takes forrrrevvvverrr). During those times, I rarely remember it but I often still get the benefit afterward. Some of the things I do is get out playdoh, crayons, paper, coloring books, books for all ages, etc. Sometimes I will put on a nice movie or just sit with a soft blanket and a stuffed animal and stare out the window. I even have a little sand box that I play in. I have found that sand is very soothing.

I try to schedule times where I don't have to be somewhere an hour later because sometimes I am gone for a while. I have to be in a place where if I check out, I am okay.

I don't know if that will help or not but maybe you can try it? Also for me, I have found that if I stick with it, regardless as to how much more I lose time or how hard it is, things eventually settle down inside.

Maybe give it some time, knowing that change is hard, even when it's a positive change. If it turns out that it does not work for you, it doesn't mean you have failed. There are lots of things that don't work for people for a myriad of reasons. Please take good care and let us know how it goes. It's good to see you.

[Elysium]

I hear you!!

My system gets all disgruntled as well when it comes to work issues, or any type of change, etc.

It sounds like you have a lot to carry on your shoulders right now. I don't know if I have anything very wise to say. Backing down would not mean that you are weak, or anything like that. Self care is very important and if that is what you feel you need to do, then do it.

One thing you could do is give it just a little more time to quiet down inside of you before making any major changes. It is difficult, but don't automatically give in to your insiders. See if you can help them cope. You don't want to back down to soon and let them have complete control.

Please take care....and keep posting!

We're here for you!!

[onlymedid]

Thank you both for the heartfelt, thoughtful and insightful responses.

I think I should give myself a week or so and see what happens then. Maybe things will calm down by then and I/we will be able to deal with more.
I often forget about the coloring, drawing, etc. When things are chaotic....I forget the things that help.

I am sitting with one of our stuffies right now!

I think the problem with my self-care is that I have NO clue how hard/far to push everyone. Some can be pushed harder/more than others...I haven't figured out the limits yet....

Thanks again! I am going to color right now and just....relax for a bit....and give the insiders some time because they need it!

You both have helped tremendously. I will wait to make a decision until we all feel....clearer and calmer.