Little Manda is too clingy

Grrr... so my mother-in-law just came home asking if anyone wanted to go to a baseball game (of her nephews) with her and "granny" (her mom).

And I really wanted to go, I had been stuck in the house all day and I was bored. So, I called my husband and he said he didn't want to go,
because he was really worn out from working all day.

But when she heard that little manda screamed (inside my head) "i...i...i...don't wanna go without him. it scary without him!"
So needless to say, we are still at home.

She does this all the time, we never do without him.

perhaps the more you can communicate with little manda, the more you can begin to reassure her that you can take care of both of them.
It's a process and one we had to go thru with willow, but it pays off in the end.

talk to her and let her know you are the "big one" and grown up and you can protect her now. she wasn't protected in her time. she is very afraid she will be hurt again.

set up a safe place inside for her to color and just feel secure.work on this with your T (don't remember if you have one or not).

I know I shouldn't be mad at her, but... I don't know why it's so hard not to be and when I get mad at her, I in turn, get mad at myself (the "big Manda" part of me) because knows it scares her and I know it's not her fault, but it's almost like I can't help myself.
Grrr... there I go, making excuses for myself. Bad Amanda, BAD!!!! Now little Manda is crying... and I did it... I made her cry!!! >.<

Remember you're doing what you can when you can. You're not bad. You make mistakes just like everyone else. You can tell little Manda this. Maybe instead of being mean to yourself you can say, oops. i'm sorry. Do over. i understand getting into a loop like you describe...knowing better but doing something anyway. i think that's the nature of our parts and having some awareness of them. You know how you want to be, you hear others, and somehow you act differently than how you want to act...i could be wrong here, but i interpret it as being more than those two parts. There's you, there's little Manda, and there's the part that does something you think is bad. All we can do is try to be as understanding as possible of all our parts. Self talk can help.

Take what makes sense and leave the rest. i'm sure no expert in any of this.

(((((((((((((((((((((manda and littlemanda)))))))))))))))))))

Neither of you are bad. It's hard learning how to get along with all of our Selves. You are learning. Learning is good.

Lots of to you!

I just realized... when it comes time to eat dinner,
she even refuses to eat until he gets home!!!

she's just a child. Try to be good to her and show patince and love.
Erik

Little Dot bes the same way ... she clings to our fiance like he bes her Daddy and becomes very insecure without him. (She bes the only little we have with a name ... the others have numbers ... Three, Four, Six, Seven, Eight, Twelve ... we think Little Dot bes 5 but not sure, somewhere around that age though)