done

wanttoheal · Mar 09, 2005, 08:38 AM

Think I am done. Thank you all for everything.

kimmydawn · Mar 09, 2005, 09:10 AM

(((((((((((((((((( wantto )))))))))))))))))))

you made a promise to me and now i'm holding you to it. you promised that if you felt this way and it wasn't lifting, that you would call t and go to the hosp. you mean so much to many, and in your depression, you can't see it. i think it's time. if you can't take care of your own safety, then you need to let the professionals who are trained help you. you've had too much for too long now, hon. you need some rest. please call t then go to hosp. we'll all be here for you when you're ready.

love,

dayzee9 · Mar 09, 2005, 09:18 AM

DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!!!! done

This Dx is a very, very HARD done

TOUGH

AND EXTREMELY done

"THING"

to deal with!!! I was Dx'ed in 1984...First, I told my T it was just my AODA porblems. done

Then, I quit drinking and people were still telling me things that I did, that I did NOT remember!!! I felt stupid, embarrassed (depending on what happened) like the "brunt" of a joke, as you mentioned... done

AND it took years of the hospital, ECT's done

OD's, sessions that lasted until midnight done

AND NO!!!

it didn't "feel" the LEAST BIT FAIR!!! done

And, I CAN RELATE to the "Tired!!!" done

I tried so hard...but sweetie, trust me done

It DOES get better! done

HARD WORK, but PLEASE don't hang it up so easily (easy? Right... done

Over the last 18 years it has been GOOD some days...BAD some days......it's a GREAT CHALLENGE! It AIN't Roses & Rainbows always. But, I've hung in there done

and over the years I slowly got to meet every body else "in here"...we didn't always agree and/or get along done

But, in the long run...TIRED AS WE STILL ARE! done

We decided that we all were pretty o.k. in our own, indivdual ways....It's a crazy process done

BUT DON'T GIVE UP NOW!! done

& I think you will find there's a lot of us out here that are right where you are now! done

"Get your 2nd Wind" - Billy Joel done

(((("Veteran MPD" Dayzee9)))))

h0kie · Mar 09, 2005, 09:19 AM

Kimmy usually knows best done

...thinking of you.

(((((((((wantto))))))))))

We'd miss your smiley in chat.

Monty_girl · Mar 09, 2005, 10:46 AM

((((((((((((((((((((( wantt ))))))))))))))))))))))))
We care so much about you, we don't want anything to happen to you. I know how right now things are hard and you might feel like you are being weighed down by everything. But this is one of those rough patches. I've only been out of the hospital now for 2 weeks for my 5th time in. Sometimes you just need to take a break and breath a little think about going. You are worth the effort !!!! done

Sometimes the hardest thing to learn and do is ask for help and know that you are worth someone helping you. Please let someone help you. Call T and let them know how you are feeling and go to the hospital. Trust me on this one. It's not all that bad to just rest and catch your breath there. K? Sometimes I think that they people who have hurt me are winning and still hurting me if I hurt myself. You just can't let them win anymore. Sending you lots a thoughts and hope for you. We are all here for you. done

Monty

nightdream · Mar 09, 2005, 11:49 AM

My dear sweety, you are so tired. Like the others has said you need to rest. Call someone to help you out and let this world turn without you for a while. Take a break and just rest my dear friend.

Please do not quit. I love you so much. When you are in chat it's like there is a breath of fresh air in the room. You heart is so filled with kindness. This world needs you.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{wanttoheal}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Love you
nightdream

RhysMadison · Mar 09, 2005, 04:22 PM

Sending you hugs wanttoheal. By the way, you should live up to your name. Want To Heal. Seems to suit you don't you think.
Love,
RhysMadison

silver_queen · Mar 09, 2005, 05:07 PM

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((wantto))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Please take note of what Kimmy said. And try to take care of self, please? Hang in there done

Silver

wanttoheal · Mar 10, 2005, 05:04 AM

alive. thank you. too haard.

dayzee9 · Mar 10, 2005, 12:51 PM

Good Morning!(((((((wanttoheal)))))))))))))) done

I am exceedingly happy to see that you are still here for today...that's the secret! done

If YEARS of A.A./N.A./E.M., etc! taught me anything is about taking it "one day at a time" done

But, personally I believe in the saying, "Baby Steps" done

It means taking each individual day & get through it with like a "checklist" Just one tiny moment to the next to get you through the entire day. I know it sounds..... done

But it works...I do it every day because with this Dx (MPD/DID) done

just one little thing can trigger or make you "freak out" done

but deal with it at that second....take another baby step & continue on. Sweetie, this Dx can seem to sap your entire life's energy at times....I KNOW!!! It did/does it to me still quite often. The answers will come...promise! done

In the meanwhile, rest as often as possible, (and don't "club yourself for "being weak") done

You will need al the energy possible to work your way through all the "bummer days" done

Trust me, IT DOES GET BETTER! done

In the meanwhile, done

It's all part of "the process"

done

(((((((dayZee)))))))))))))))

wanttoheal · Mar 11, 2005, 04:01 AM

Thank you everyone. I am here. Thank you for your words of encouragement. I will write more later when I can. I'm sorry to have written the original post. That was not cool. I will write when I can. Thank you.

LMo · Mar 11, 2005, 05:05 AM

Nope. You're not done. We still have lots to talk about! I like you!

Mahali · Mar 11, 2005, 08:07 AM

(((wantoheal)))) Safe hugs if wanted.

Please don't be sorry about the original post. We understand the feeling. Everyone here. So glad you hung in. So very glad you are still here.

Please take care.

place

Monty_girl · Mar 11, 2005, 11:10 AM

((((((((((((((((((((( wantt )))))))))))))))))))))
We are all here for you when you are ready. We have all the time in the world. We not going anywhere. Take your time and know that you are cared about.
Monty

dayzee9 · Mar 11, 2005, 11:30 AM

Yo Girl! (((((((wanttoheal)))))) done

Don't apologize for your original post! We are all together in this fight for survival of MPD/DID! done

(Well, actually...looking back...MPD/DID is what our mind did to survival the initial hell.) Therapy is draining; I spent years of 4 hour sessions every night when I was first Dxed. done

It's been a severely long haul for all of us I'm sure done

There were years for me that it was so overwhelming/depressing/suicidal for me that I wanted to just say "Screw it." It got to a point where my PSY doc had to resort to ECT's just to keep us alive (literally) Never apologize for posting what you did! You've got all so many people in this forum that can say "Amen" to your original post. You reached out (which takes balls)& you hung around for some feedback...(which shows you are true to your posting name! ((wanttoheal)))so nothing to be sorry for, o.k? Just keep us all up-to-date & ask questions!! done

We ALL have to stick together, because this road is pitted is "potholes!"
done

After my 18 years of Tx, I STILL have "those days" as I'm sure others around here can attest to. done

Stay w/ us,girly-girl, done

((((((dayZee))))))

kimmydawn · Mar 11, 2005, 01:11 PM

(((((((((((((((((((((((( wantto & all )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

i love ya. you all are working together amazingly. i'm proud of you all.

Mar 11, 2005, 11:30 PM

place said it above.......don't worry about the orig. post........just move on from where you're at when you post next.

This forum is for exactly this........talking about what the 'side effects' of being DID are like to live with. For some I guess they have been dx'd for years and it is one long hard haul. For others they are relatively new in their dx and learning the ropes so to speak.

I look forward to when you are feeling up to writing more later.......no matter the content. Come as you are. We all have a few cringe worthy posts in our pasts. You're human.

Thank you for continuing on when you probably least feel like doing so.

Take care wanttoheal. Not sure if hugs offered right now are the right thing done

wanttoheal · Mar 12, 2005, 07:18 PM

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Kimmy)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I don't know what to say. That hug is not even big enough for the thankfulness I feel toward you. I was angry at you that you were holding me to the promise. I was mad that I gave it and mad that you reminded me of it.

I am feeling a bit better. Think I have been in and out (mostly out) this last week. I have little memory of life, work or family. It's a miracle I keep my job but I am thankful that I have the job I have.

Thank you Kim. I appreciate you so much.

wanttoheal · Mar 12, 2005, 07:34 PM

(((((((((((((((((((((Dayzee))))))))))))))))))
Thank you. I didn't even know you and you reached out. Thank you for that. Your smileys and pictures were so fitting and cute and I appreciated those as well.

I am still kind of emotionally spent and I am not able to write as much as I would like but I hope one day to be able to write more. But I wanted to say thank you from the bottom of my heart.

wanttoheal · Mar 12, 2005, 07:41 PM

(((((((((((1dayatatime2))))))))))))
Thank you so much for your support. I appreciate that you responded when I was in the deep in the pitt of despair. Thank you.

wanttoheal · Mar 12, 2005, 07:52 PM

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((Monty)))))))))))))))

First I have to say how glad I am that you joined us over here! I remember you going into the hospital Monty and I'm so glad you are feeling better. You are worth it. I couldn't do hospital. I know, it doesn't really make sense, hospital or de*d, but in my brain somehow it makes sense.

I did talk to my t on one day and am considering going back to her. I had quit last week. She is really good about having me come talk to her about quitting, thus remaining in therapy...

Thank you Monty. For everything. I always enjoy talking to you.

wanttoheal · Mar 12, 2005, 07:53 PM

((((((((((((((Nightdream))))))))))))))

Thank you. You are very kind and I appreciate the kind words. This world doesn't need me but I am going to try to stay around for a little bit longer, see if it gets any better.

Thank you for everything.

wanttoheal · Mar 12, 2005, 07:56 PM

(((((((((((((((((((((((RhysMadison)))))))))))))))

Thank you for your kind words. I was told once that I should change my name to Really Doesn't Want to Heal. Thank you for saying the opposite of that. Down inside, I want healing. Most days I don't feel that it's possible. Thank you for believing it is, even when I don't.

wanttoheal · Mar 12, 2005, 07:57 PM

((((((((((((((((((((((Miss Silver Queen)))))))))))))))))))))

Thank you so much for your friendship and your encouragement. I appreciate you so much. Thank you Silver.

wanttoheal · Mar 12, 2005, 07:58 PM

Thank you LMo. I know I chatted with you one night while going through this, and although I can't remember what we talked about, I remember your kindness. Thank you for everything.

Menu

done

My Support Forums