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#1
Nov 08, 2009, 09:23 AM
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dont know how to say this .....................but l told him that it was over and l want a divorce a few days ago. He said he needed to try to find somewhere to stay but he hasnt so now l am telling him again. We have lots of debt mainly ue to me being sick for so long and not working...........but now l am back at work, have just found a new job and l cant put up with the abuse and hurt anymore !!!!! does he get it l am not sure...........l doubt it but after today he will get it, he has too. My p nurse is looking for somewhere new for me and the kids and l am filing for bankruptcy l have to do this and l have to do this now!!!!!!!!! just cant go on the way it is
sorry..................... mandy
__________________
 "never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish.... few things are more humiliating and what a tragedy when they believe you"
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#2
Nov 08, 2009, 09:36 AM
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Mandy I'm so happy to see you being so strong. You are an inspiration. We have just finished the process of bankruptcy, if you need any help I am here. Please know I am thinking of you, bankruptcy seems a huge scary thing but really it isn't, you will feel like a big black cloud has lifted when it's all over ... take care and good luck. Kerry xx
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The feather landed gently at his feet. The boy looked back up at the sky and let his balloon go. It was a fair trade. ~ quote by Dominic my wonderful son   " As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same." ― Marianne Williamson |
 silentandscared
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#3
Nov 08, 2009, 09:54 AM
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Mandy... I'm proud of you for doing this to take care of you and your kids. You've been hurt enough! Please know I'm here all the way... whenever you need me... I'm here to listen and support you. Day or night... doesn't matter - call me!
This is so hard on you having to end your marriage because you've got a pure caring heart and even if he's hurt you bad you still find it foreign for you to be "hurtful" in return. (I know you know what I mean.) This is a very big step in your walk of life. Let me walk there beside you holding your hand, dear dear friend of mine. You are not alone! I believe in you! Love always /N |
| silentandscared
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#4
Nov 08, 2009, 10:07 AM
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It hurts bad right now...................
 my heart feels empty and hollow and yet l still know and feel that this must be done for me and my children. They love him, l know that...............l just hope that he doesnt try to use them in his battle with me!!!! l have to look at the bigger picture for their future too..............l know that somehow l will end up the bad person in all this and that is because l know that l wont throw at him what he has done to me for many years and l also wont tell the whole world the things that are locked inside of me.............. it would achieve nothing except for more hurt and right now l just cant and wont do that but then hey who knows a woman scorned and all that  but unfortunately its not in my nature to throw the dirt so l guess that there will be many family and friends who only ever hear his side of it......... but right now l dont care about that just me and the kids thats allI want to try to feel whole, find out who l really am, love and protect my children, guide them down the right path away from hrt and abuse so they dont always think it is the norm!!!!! This action is for me and l feel totally selfish.................for once in my 43 years this is about ME..............I have to do this else l will be dead and not by his hands either. thank you for your replies it warms my heart that someone at least replied to this bad sad feeling inside of me right now as l walk away from 14 years of my life  mandy xx
__________________
"never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish.... few things are more humiliating and what a tragedy when they believe you"
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#5
Nov 08, 2009, 10:40 AM
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 ((((((((( Mandy - alters - children )))))))) |
| silentandscared
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#6
Nov 08, 2009, 10:44 AM
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Quote:
(((((((((((((((( Nina )))))))))))))))))))))) thank you my friend ..................my perfect safe place, l so wish that l was there right now !!!!!! thank you for everything that you do for me and minel would be lost without you mandyxx
__________________
"never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish.... few things are more humiliating and what a tragedy when they believe you"
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| silentandscared
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#7
Nov 08, 2009, 10:49 AM
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Quote:
/N |
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#8
Nov 09, 2009, 08:58 AM
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Mandy,
Please know from one who has been where you are....even with your gentle nature and unwillingness to smear your ex, let your children know that if they have questions about what they hear from their father or from their father's family, they can ask you. This allows them to come to you and ask about things that trouble them. You can choose how you want to answer the questions. My son always asked me why his father and I divorced. Instead of telling him that his father was a lazy, imature child who only became one more to raise along with my son and my husband's daughter, I told my son that his father had trouble being a grownup when I needed his help. This seemed to satisfy his curiosity and did not shine too bad a light on his dad. And also, his dad seemed to live up to it because he could never say no to his other son. LOL Another thing: there is life after bankruptcy. Take it from me. It can be a blessing. It takes adjustment. But it does give both parties a clean slate. I feel so much for you and your children. Please take care. Hold tight to your friends. 
__________________
 Vickie
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| silentandscared
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#9
Nov 09, 2009, 09:34 AM
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((((((((((((( Vicky )))))))))))))))))))
Thank you so much for your kind heart warming advice. To hear from others who have been right where l am right now helps in ways l cant explain. The lonilness l feel inside just tears my heart apart . I am very very thankful to my wonderful friends here who support me in all that l decideLast night didnt go according to plan..................he came in and went to bed at 7.30pm stating that he was sick...............l said we needed to talk and his reply.................it can wait til another time............maybe tomorrow he said. Well you know what he dont have to talk about it , he can carry hiding away from all this and pretend that its not happening  cus you know what ....................It is happening and l will continue with my plans for a new home for me and the kids and with the plans for bankruptcy.......................who knows he may just start to listen but l doubt it very much  hugs to all who replied ..........thank you for not making me so lonelyMandyxx
__________________
"never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish.... few things are more humiliating and what a tragedy when they believe you"
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#10
Nov 09, 2009, 12:13 PM
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Silent,
Standing with you while you find safety for yourself and your children everyday, one day at a time.
__________________
 “Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind.” Albert Einstein |
| silentandscared
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#11
Nov 10, 2009, 06:25 PM
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Quote:
Today he gets it.....................now he knows there is no going back ((((((((((((( everyone ))))))))))))) ty
__________________
"never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish.... few things are more humiliating and what a tragedy when they believe you"
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#12
Nov 11, 2009, 06:08 PM
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now l am getting the silent treatment.................so just have to press on and do what l need to do for me and the kids
__________________
"never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish.... few things are more humiliating and what a tragedy when they believe you"
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#13
Nov 11, 2009, 06:36 PM
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Don't let him get to you. Keep on with your plans. He'll have to act upon your words eventually.
/N |
| silentandscared
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#14
Nov 11, 2009, 06:50 PM
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(((Silentandscared)))
There is life after divorce and bankruptcy. I went through that years and years ago and after it was all finalized....OMG I felt like 100 pounds was lifted off my shoulders. My daughter still remembers how happy we were in our own apt. Keep your chin up! It's hard, but you and your kids will be OK.
__________________
[SIGPIC[/SIGPIC] Susan
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| silentandscared
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