[lifelesstraveled]

I was never married so I dont know if this even belongs on this board, but my boyfriend and I just broke up after three years . it;s only been a week and my thoughts are constantly spinning around the relationship, what went wrong, how i miss him, im pissed at him, im full of guilt. Just last night I had a brief break and felt okay about the break up now im back in the pits again. Is this normal???? How long does it take to get over this and move on???? I am not good at dealing with emotions at all and to have all of these coming at me at once is unbearable.

I feel like im going crazy. Im 26 is this is my first REAL break up. I have always had someone whether it be simultaneously or one one. He was my longest relationship. I have nooo clue how to handle this. I have to keep busy to keep from thinking about him and us and to keep from calling him. He said that it's okay to call, but I dont want him to take it away 6 months from now. I dont know what to do

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by lifelesstraveled

Just last night I had a brief break and felt okay about the break up now im back in the pits again. Is this normal???? How long does it take to get over this and move on????

Yes, I think it's normal. You're missing him and grieving his loss. You will probably pass through many of the stages of grief, just as if someone had died. There is no set time on how long before you are "over this." You shouldn't be expecting to get over a 3 year relationship in just a week though, so you are not unusual to still be so hurt 1 week later.

Take some time alone for yourself if that is what will help you. Or seek out friends and family for support if that would be helpful.

Hang in there.

[HelloImStevie]

Hi LifeLessTraveled!

Whether married or in a long term relationship, it still hurts when it ends. I recommend making a clean split...don't call him. Give yourself some time to adjust, get to know yourself all over again, and slowly figure out what went wrong.

I live a thousand miles away from my soon to be ex husband, and I couldn't be happier. I hope that you find the same peace.

[lifelesstraveled]

Sunrise---thanks. When stuff like this happens i have a tendency to retreat into myself, and want to be by myself, which I am sure is not good. I have been trying to keep busy, but I did call him last night and hearing his voice gave me a sense of relief--it was obviously only temporary...

HelloImStevie--I gave in and called. I did a really good job at not calling him for a few days and gave in. He was really the only one i called when anything ever happened and now I dont have him anymore. It wasn't a rough break it was just the reality of the situation. We have been together for 3 years and living 400 miles away from each other for 1.5 of the 3 years. We talked everyday and visited when we could, but i guess it wasnt enough for him....

Thanks guys

[drod]

i was married for 5 years with my ex wife and had been together 8yrs, it took me a year or moreto finally get over the hurt and pain, then i met a crush from high school and we went together for 13yrs and felt almost no grief when we broke up, even now she is engaged and we are are still good friends, i actually felt bad about not feelinf bad, then 3 months ago, my gf of 5+ yrs and i broke up and i have felf more pain then either of the other 2 realtionships combined, i wish you luck and hope you hang in there and pray, its helped me....

[Rainy_daze]

Hi, I personally think there is no set time for a person to heal. But fact is time will heal you, be it 2 months or 2 years. I was married for 10 years and it took 3 years to get over it. Was in a 3 yr relationship and felt better as soon as I walked out the door. It is different for each person, give yourself time to heal.

[Belle1979]

I agree with Rainy daze. There is no set time frame for healing. My first relationship break down it took me 3 years to get over him (together for 7). With my latest break-up (after 5 years together) I am doing better than I expected but it's onmly been 4 months.
The roller coaster emotional ride seems to last for a very long time but time really does heal all. It just wont feel like anything will ever be good again but I promise it does.
Start on the right track - I found that seeing a therapist and going to the doc for a check-up really put me on the road to recovery.
Plus talking, talking and talking to anyone who would listen saved me.

Soft hugs to you lifelesstraveled x