Dealing with the Ex-Inlaws...

Hello All,

I usually come here for my BP stuff, but I unfortunately burned my bridge at the divorce forum I usually go to.... I forgot the ex-SIL pointed me there and still lurked. I posted a rant about the ex-mil and it got back to her....

So.. I'm BPII and am divorced. I have full physical custody of my three sons...

I had a meltdown when I had to go to the ex's apartment to get the boys stuff. The In-Laws were there at my request. Up until then, we had been getting along FAMOUSLY....

Now the MIL is nuts.... Being nuts myself, I think I'm qualified to make that judgment.... But with my meds, I have been able to keep my mouth filter engaged and not cause problems...

I lost it while at the appt. she was talking her usual nonsense and I just exploded. The FIL almost came to blows....

At the time and even for a few days after, I felt totally justified.... Now I feel like an ***.

Several days before, she pulled her usual MIL Crapola and actually told my kids they didn't have to do their chores (cleaning a cat litter box).... That PISSED ME OFF!!!

So after the apartment incident, I vented on the divorce support forum and the vent went viral to the family...

Trying to calm things down I sent an email saying I was going to be keeping the boys "closer to home" and that I expected the ex to pick up and drop them off if they were going somewhere....

Then the BIL sends my oldest (11yo) a message on Facebook telling him what a mean dad I am for keeping him from them....

I sent another email to everyone of the adults, asking them to please not use the kids like that...

I got back a long NastyGram in return from the BIL....

No matter what I do, I turn out to be the bad guy. What am I supposed to do?

Thanks for listening

I'm sorry the in-laws are using the kids like this. This shouldn't be happening. If they have a problem with you, it should be between you and them. The kids shouldn't be involved at all.

Unfortunately with a divorce, there's always hard feelings, and the inlaws always feel like they're justified in getting involved. Well, they AREN'T. It has NOTHING to do with them. They need to keep their nose out of things. I know they want to "protect" and "back=up" their daughter, but I'm sure she can take care of herself.

Why not send them an e-mail telling them that if they have any problem as far as the children go, to refer back to the divorce agreement!! And anything else, leave the children OUT of it, or else they will be speaking to your attorney!!!
They cannot keep using the kids as pawns.

I wish you the very best --- God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

I agree with Leed. You have a complicated scenario and much drama. Your emotions are intertwined. The bottom line is to remain calm for the boys. I don't know how old they are, but kids have great intuiton, and they will "get it". They will see how you handle things.