[Angus1985]

Does separation almost always end in Divorce? Are there any separations that actually end in reconciliation? How does separation actually help make a marriage stronger and ultimately save it?

[Travelinglady]

I don't know any statistics, but I know of a couple who separated and then went back together, so it doesn't always lead to divorce. I think the main concern is whether the separation will allow the couple insight into their relationship and ultimately the ability to communicate better.

[Leed]

Before you separate, make SURE you two go thru counseling - and get the therapist advice on separation!!! If the therapist thinks it would be a good idea to separate, then follow that advice.

Therapy is always best before separating. You aren't thinking clearly when you're going thru something like this. Both parties are upset and their own issues are first on their minds -- they aren't thinking of the other party. So please see a therapist FIRST before you separate. You won't regret it.

God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

I think it can end in reconciliation. It depends on a lot of factors though and most separations are two people that really need to get away from each other and for good reason. In those cases, I think getting away from each other and separating just solidifies the idea that they want to be apart. I guess you have to truly have the motivation to reconcile in the separation and it will, quite truthfully take a lot of work. In my mind if I wanted to reconcile with my spouse, why would I want to get away from her? ::: shrugs :::

There are many that would say separation is a bad idea if reconciliation is the goal. The reason (and I'm stating what I've heard and read, not necessarily my opinion) they say is that the married couple experiences the freedom of being apart from the other and more often then not they choose to remain that way. It makes sense, even in a good marriage, sometimes being apart for a short time is necessary (like retreats and such) but without the good marriage to come back to... what binds are there to bring the spouse back?

Just my thoughts.

In summary, yes they can end in reconciliation but it doesn't happen as often as divorce and I wholeheartedly stand with Leed in that you have to get Therapy and work at it or no, it just won't help.

~S4 *hugs*

[Nina2012]

I can't answer that. My husband felt the need to move back to our home town 2 years ago. Last year, not wanting to spend my entire life alone and traveling every month to "Visit" (He never reciprocated), I left a very good job and havent been able to get full time employment ever since. Since he lived with his mother, and she made it clear I was not welcome, I moved in with my sister, then with my daughter to help babysit, and then back to sisters, and finally I had enough and determined it was up to me to fully support myself so I rented somewhere and moved some of my things. I spent the last year thinking he might want to spend enough time with me to find out what was going on after all, we've now been married 40 years. I have gone through counseling all this time, and they suggested couples counseling too, but I never saw him long enough or without a grandchild in tow to discuss.

[Angus1985]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

I think it can end in reconciliation. It depends on a lot of factors though and most separations are two people that really need to get away from each other and for good reason. In those cases, I think getting away from each other and separating just solidifies the idea that they want to be apart. I guess you have to truly have the motivation to reconcile in the separation and it will, quite truthfully take a lot of work. In my mind if I wanted to reconcile with my spouse, why would I want to get away from her? ::: shrugs :::

There are many that would say separation is a bad idea if reconciliation is the goal. The reason (and I'm stating what I've heard and read, not necessarily my opinion) they say is that the married couple experiences the freedom of being apart from the other and more often then not they choose to remain that way. It makes sense, even in a good marriage, sometimes being apart for a short time is necessary (like retreats and such) but without the good marriage to come back to... what binds are there to bring the spouse back?

Just my thoughts.

In summary, yes they can end in reconciliation but it doesn't happen as often as divorce and I wholeheartedly stand with Leed in that you have to get Therapy and work at it or no, it just won't help.

~S4 *hugs*

Thanks for this I believe you are absolutely right about this!