[hazelhock21]

In the past two months I was laid off from my job, my house burned down in a wildfire, and then I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me. After my house burned down, my boyfriend asked me to move in with him. We had lived together for about a week when I was surfing on the web on his computer and saw that match.com was one of his most visited websites. I was curious so went to it and found out he had been meeting women while on business trips. When I approached him about, he just got angry and somehow tried to blame it on me. I grabbed my things and left that same night. I still have hope that things will work out between us and it has been hard to give up that hope. We were planning a life together and just like that, it was all gone. He was the sunshine in my life and made losing my job and house bearable. I've lost everything and don't know where to go from here. I'm frightened and don't know where I will end up and the person who made everything alright is gone.

[DePressMe]

Hazel, I am so sorry for your losses. I don't know how I would deal with everything you are going through--I'm sure, like you, I'd find a way. I lost my house and job due to my illness...but I still had supportive people in my life. I wish you nothing but the best....take care...D.

[gayleggg]

I'm so sorry for your losses. I do not know how I would handle that much loss, but I guess we are stronger than we think sometimes. He is willing to go to counseling with you? I would expect him to accept responsibility for his part in this before I would consider going forward with him. For him to blame you for his infidelty is just wrong. Wishing you the best but I'm not sure he is it.
Gayle

[hazelhock21]

Thanks Gayleggg and DePressMe for the support. Gayle, I think you are right. He needs to accept some responsibility. Just to hear him apologize would ease so much pain.

Everyone keeps telling me time will heal everything, but until then, it is hard to want to get up every morning. He and I were camping when the fire broke out and by the time we got back into town, police wouldn't let me into my neighborhood. I didn't even get the chance to collect personal belongings like photographs. All I have is a duffel bag with clothes, a sleeping bag, and my car. After my house burned down, my boyfriend never left my side and was so wonderful during that time. He really became my crutch. Now I have to find a new crutch. Any suggestions? One thing I think I will do is right now I'm staying in a furnished short term rental. I was going wait to start replacing items lost in the fire until I found a job and a more permanent place to live, but I'd be nice to have a few things around that reflect my personality. Otherwise, what can I do to motivate myself to get out of bed?

[eskielover]

I think that I would be glad that I found out his true colors now & not after you got married or made your relationship more permanent.

Yes, it's hard to find out that someone isn't who we think they are....& when we find out who they really are does hurt.....better to know now than later. There are more quality men out there.....than to bother with one who's going to treat you & your relationship in that way.

[avlady]

That's awful about all you're going through, you must stay strong, even if it means you need to see a therapist to help you get through it, you sound like a strong person!

[Janae]

Who needs a man you can't trust? I am going through the same thing. Some days I feel down and depressed... today is one of those days I keep wishing that he had been able to treat me better, because I really loved him. Other days I feel better. We may yearn for the relationship that could have been - but it was never really there. It is time to adjust to reality. Gosh, I feel for you... I totally identify with that pain.