[oldlife_disrupted]

Hi again internet peeps!

These past couple of months since the separation have been difficult but I've been slowly and surely making positive changes in my life since my wife left.

I'm doing classes of interesting stuff, making new friends....basically building my own life. I'm enjoying life again and generally happy most days (or generally most of the days with periodically depressed hours from time to time).

There is however one issue that's been on my mind quite heavily from the beginning. My wife has been spending a lot of time with a lesbian. I mean a lot.

On Facebook pics, this woman is never more than 2 feet away. On several occasions, she told me she was going to do something with several friends, only to find out it was just her. I also recently heard complaints from the kids that when they're at her place, this woman is always around and they're tired of seeing her.

Keep in mind I've never asked them about her and have very strictly kept to myself about this issue. Only my therapist knows about my suspicions and she told me initially that I shouldn't confront her about this because I had to work on my own life before I think about her.

The problem is that this issue isn't going away in my head. I suspect that something is going on that she doesn't want me to know. I'm willing to play dumb and pretend it's not sexual but there's something she feels she needs to hide...

If you were me, would you bring it up? I don't want to go full attack and confront, I just need to stop wondering...I'm tired of wondering and feeling like I'm ignoring the obvious.

[enchanted]

Im sorry to hear of your seperation, it sounds liek your trying hard to get your life back in order and make positive changes, personaly i think that you should try to forget about this issue and move on with your life, you will only torment yourslef if you become consumed by this, maybe you could try meditation or something to help you distract from these thoughts if they are becoming obsessive? i hope you find peace

[healingme4me]

Sorry to read, that you are struggling with this. All, orientation, aside, it's tough, recovering when there's even a suspicion that the person you desired to work on a relationship with(as you wanted marriage counseling/counseling, if I recall) may be with someone else.
Yes, you are working on, moving forward, at the same time, this gives new dimension, to the demise of the relationship, or it, could give new dimension. So, I feel for you.

[oldlife_disrupted]

Thanks. The clearer my head gets, the more I see her behaviour for what it is. This particular relationship…whatever it is…is disturbing…she's acting like she's hiding something…I guess this one's going to be discussed with the shrink before I take action.