[brokenhrt52]

going through so many painful experiences as of late... it is so difficult dealing with so many issues coming at you at a constant pace that you cannot keep up and deal with especially when your mental state is compromised due to depression and abandonment issues! I am completely overwhelmed, constantly being bombarded right and left every second of the day it seems with one issue after another...
I don't know how 2 stop the madness especially dealing with my fragile health condition ... I am completely wiped out I don't really take care of myself because...
I am so busy putting out fire after fire...with 1 of my four children or my 3 grandchildren or unstable sister who sI's or tries to OD all the time ...I am so ....sscared every moment of every day! I am getting into a very very deep manic depression due to the fact that's all these issues are going on Plus I'm going through a divorce and my soon to be ex husband Keeps trying to interact with me periodically making me think that he misses me and might want to work on our marriage then I don't hear from him for months and it's like the pain is fresh new and overwhelming! I finally finally last night got the confirmation that I needed to hear he finally after two years told me that he will or doesn't have any feelings for me llike he use to like a husband should have for a wife...
it hurts so so so bad but now I could get rid of this fantasy of thinking that maybe one day maybe one day he'll realize I'm the one that he needs to spend the rest of his life with that he's made a mistake by leaving me and filing for divorce yeah right ok ..so sorry for rambling I am just hurting so badly and my body does not feel right right now I'm scared that I might not be here that much longer as the doctors have told me it's just a matter of time.

[brokenhrt52]

I was driving my expedition and my kids were driving behind me following me they told me that my brake lights are not working at that point I heard my phone go off and it was my soon to be ex husband...
I had told him that I had aalmost been hit twice on the way home from LA which was the truth because my brake lights we're not working. I told him I had no way of getting them fixed and I was fearful that I might get in an accident or get a ticket or worse...
that he cleaned me out when he left of all my trust money that was left to me by my father over $200,000 and that I desperately needed help that I was not only rolling into a deep depression because he keeps pushing and pulling me back in 2 believing that there might be a chance and then poof hhe's gone again.... I told him that it was not fair that he does not pay me any kind of spousal support , why he had not follow through with giving my attorney his part of the discovery so we could get the ball rolling and I could get a chance you semergency spousual support after 2 years ...
that my house had gone into foreclosure 7 different times and having to borrow money from everyone writing IOOU's signing over tha I would sell my vehicle and everything I have by a certain date if I do not pay them back anyways I have no one to borrow from anymore...
and my attorney says that there is no way even though I have proof about cashiers checks bank account statements that it was community property cuz I was stupid enough to put it in the bank account ...
Joint acct. he has hidden so many assets and I at times do not even have one penny... I just feel so stupid takin advantage of and the kicker I still want to sbe with this man...what is wrong with me I know that would take him back even though I know he doesn't want me I still will

[oldlife_disrupted]

I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. I think you need to let go of other people's problems and handle your own. The only one who needs to contact your soon-to-be-ex is your lawyer who needs to be hired to find those assets and split them in two so flush all his calls.

In time your need to have him in your life will diminish. It's going to hurt for a long time but you'll see it happen. Nothing wrong with you, it's normal to go through this.

You really need to see a therapist and you need to build a group of friends and family who'll support you through this terrible time.

Keep hope, I assure you the pain diminishes slowly but surely.

[Soulsisters]

Hi,

You are going to feel better.

In time you will hope and dream and love again. Keep your head up and move forward. The past is over. You are stronger than you think.

I wish you well

[Ashima]

My thoughts are with you. Why do the doctors say it's just a matter of time?

[fraiser]

One day at a time. Sometimes its one hour at a time. If your lawyer sucks try to get another one who will fight for you. You hate him but you love him I know. Think of how he's doin you dirty when you feel mushy. He has to be paying child support and if not march down to the courthouse and file. Today. If he took that money out he forged your name. Do not settle into victim mentality. That will paralyze you. Get ugly with him. You don't want some one back who is capable of what you described. It's habit talking.

[throughthefog]

I feel your pain....someone said to me today that "What feels like everything is falling down around you, is actually sometimes the necassary steps for what should be to fall into place"............I like that thought x