[caseym02]

I have been with my husband 11 years, married for almost 9. I don't know that I was ever really in love with him. I love him on a platonic level and I very much care about him, but there has never been a spark. He has been a good provider but there is little emotional connection. I feel more alone with him than when I am truly alone. About a month ago, I met another man. We have so much in common and he makes we feel so alive and I look forward to life again. We communicate mostly via text and have gone out together twice. We have not done anything physical except for a good night kiss, but it was amazing. I have told my husband the truth about my feelings and that I feel we should separate and he is devestasted. He is also aware I have been talking to the other man, but I didn't tell him that I have increasing feelings for him. The other man is also aware of my situation and being recently divorced himself, he certainly has his reservations. He seems to be pulling away and I'm not sure if it's because his feelings have changed or because our relationship is no longer a complete secret. I guess what I need to know is if a person can stay married to someone they care about but not love, and can a person live without love once they know it exists beyond. I do not want to hurt anyone and I never expected to meet someone new and fall so hard, so fast. I have know without a doubt for the last 4 years I wanted to leave my husband, the new man has nothing to do with that, but it hasn't helped the situation. Any insight anyone can give me would be greatly appreciated!

[Sweetestkisses2580]

You should not try to move on until you try to work your relationship with your husband and as for man number 2 he is going with a married woman not looking for a serious relationship.

[caseym02]

I am starting counseling this week, so I hope that will help with the situation. As far as Man #2, his marriage ended because his wife was unfaithful and he does not want that to happen in my situation. He does not want to proceed with a relationship with me until after my husband and I end it. Which I respect whole heartily. I never meant to drag him into this situation any more than I want to hurt my husband. It's just bittersweet to finally have feelings for someone but I can't enjoy it due to the circumstances.

[bebop]

I would try to work it out if possible. if not then I would move on without hopes of the new man. Do it for yourself. I understand what you are going thru. I have been in those shoes myself.

[caseym02]

Man Number 2 wants to hold off on progressing our relationship any further until my marriage is completely over (and I agree) and I don't know that I would want anything serious after being married anyway. It's just hard feeling like I am throwing my life away just so I could be in love. Seems crazy, but I can't help but feel like if I stayed in my marriage that it would be for the wrong reasons...

[jimmy rich]

Hello caseym02:
If I were you, I'd first get divorced, so the person that you don't love but are currently married to, will be free to find someone who really can love him and then get hooked up with the person you really want. It may seem simplistic but that is exactly what I did after attempting to make my 1st (unhappy) marriage work but couldn't (long story) so I divorced her and married the one I was truly in love with thus allowing my 1st wife to find greener pastures for her self. There were no kids to harm so it all worked out!
good luck,
jim