[MissInvisible]

I should know the answer but I'm looking for some advice and help. My ex broke up with me 5 months ago. It was because I was being too negative and paranoid. That's why I feel so much regret. My ex told me if I wanted a relationship with him that I should spend time on my own and I should heal and all that crap. 5 months later I found out that he was dating other women (I could see from his statuses) when we split up and giving me false hopes of a future together. Now I know why he put "don't be afraid to tell how you feel about someone, you might be missing out on a person you could spend the rest of your life with", something like that. Am I going crazy or is that just wrong? I feel so angry at him. So I decided, enough is enough. I'm doing this for my own mental health and sanity. The reason I haven't moved on is because I thought I could make it work and I wanted to try again sometime in the future. Apparently I lead myself on. The thoughts of "what if I don't find someone else?" comes to my mind. My friend is probably getting annoyed with me. He's been such a supportive and encouraging friend. He suggests I let him go and stop talking to him. I should have listened to my intuition. It would have saved me a lot of grief and save me from going insane.

[CANDC]

Hi MissInvisible,
Sorry for the pain and hurt and other emotions you feel. It is always easier for an outside party to tell us what they see. They do not need to cope with the minefields of emotions left over from our past.

At some time in our lives, we all have given our crown jewels to a stranger somehow thinking they would guard them well and take care of us. You are not alone, taking so long to let go, hoping beyond all hope that things will get better some day. Please do not blame yourself.

Old wounds heal with difficulty. This may not be the first time you were treated in this way. Our childhood often is a field of wounds and hurts that seldom heal completely as we soldier on trying to be strong enough to keep on keeping on.


CANDC

Originally Posted by MissInvisible

I should know the answer but I'm looking for some advice and help. My ex broke up with me 5 months ago. It was because I was being too negative and paranoid. That's why I feel so much regret. My ex told me if I wanted a relationship with him that I should spend time on my own and I should heal and all that crap. 5 months later I found out that he was dating other women (I could see from his statuses) when we split up and giving me false hopes of a future together. Now I know why he put "don't be afraid to tell how you feel about someone, you might be missing out on a person you could spend the rest of your life with", something like that. Am I going crazy or is that just wrong? I feel so angry at him. So I decided, enough is enough. I'm doing this for my own mental health and sanity. The reason I haven't moved on is because I thought I could make it work and I wanted to try again sometime in the future. Apparently I lead myself on. The thoughts of "what if I don't find someone else?" comes to my mind. My friend is probably getting annoyed with me. He's been such a supportive and encouraging friend. He suggests I let him go and stop talking to him. I should have listened to my intuition. It would have saved me a lot of grief and save me from going insane.

[ChipperMonkey]

You're not crazy but keeping up with his social media accounts can make you feel like you're going crazy! (Been there, done that, blocked him for my own sanity!) I suggest that you cut off all contact with this guy. You know he's no good for you because he's a cheater....or at the very least has a wandering eye and has lead you on, right? You deserve SO much better! Don't heal for him, heal for you. Go out there and become the most awesome single person you can be. Another guy will notice.....and the last guy will be missing out on the new and improved you.

Those thoughts of "what if I don't find someone else"....? Well, with your mind preoccupied with this last guy, you're not truly free to give your heart to another. So in a way, you're keeping yourself from moving on and finding a great guy. Give yourself time to heal and you will find someone else.....someone better.

[MissInvisible]

Originally Posted by ChipperMonkey

You're not crazy but keeping up with his social media accounts can make you feel like you're going crazy! (Been there, done that, blocked him for my own sanity!) I suggest that you cut off all contact with this guy. You know he's no good for you because he's a cheater....or at the very least has a wandering eye and has lead you on, right? You deserve SO much better! Don't heal for him, heal for you. Go out there and become the most awesome single person you can be. Another guy will notice.....and the last guy will be missing out on the new and improved you.

Those thoughts of "what if I don't find someone else"....? Well, with your mind preoccupied with this last guy, you're not truly free to give your heart to another. So in a way, you're keeping yourself from moving on and finding a great guy. Give yourself time to heal and you will find someone else.....someone better.

Thank you so much. I really need someone to knock some sense into my head. Plus, I think he was trying to change me. I'm normally quiet. He had a problem with my negativity and personality. I just want to moan and complain because I am so angry and I've been taken for a mug.

[HippoMey]

Hi there,

I have been there once where it took me close to two years to finally move on from someone, so 5 months is really not bad. The thing that you really have to do is to really let go and realise that there is no possibility of you being with him at all in the future, or even in another life. If the relationship broke due to difference in personalities and life goals then you must know that there will never be a chance with him, whether it be next month or in 20 years.

The moment I finally moved on from my ex was the moment when I realised that we are just so different and we wanted different things in life that it would not have worked at all. Then it was so easy moving on from him. Sometimes it just takes time, though.