Obsessing.....

It's back and forth in my head like a ping-pong ball. To stay or go? My wife and I have been separated for six years. We have two kids, ages 7 and 9, whom I see regularly (3x a week). But for the past few months I have been so CONFLICTED about what to do. I MISS being with the kids 24/7 ssooooo much. I know people can understand that. Basically my wife and I had a pretty good relationship for two before our kids came along. I know that my wife wants (deep down) to get back together and "be a family" again. But she is tired of talking about it with me....I don't blame her, I analyze A LOT without much action. We can't go back the way it was...no one was very happy. But I feel like I am a spectator in my own great life. One huge fear I have is that my moving back in would screw up the kids. My wife is a rager. She will go off on me manically without warning, in front of the kids. It's gotten better but still a problem. One vision I have is us being back together again but in a whole new WAY. I don't know what that would look like. She and I would have to talk before reconciliation, if and when. I know there is the thing of the kids being with me every other weekend, etc. but that somehow sounds awful. Transporting the kids like luggage. Aaarrggghhh........it's frustrating.

You haven't mentioned your feelings for her. I see then no source for confliction other than your need to be a closer parent to your children (3 times a week is excellent - is this visiting or co-parenting?). What I believe really needs to happen is closure - especially as your wife is having difficulties realizing the current situation. It's been 6 years. Perhaps it is time to cut that final apron string.

BTW I think it great you are as involved as you are. Many children with both parents in the home don't get that kind of time with a parent. I applaud you!

Hello lark265: The Skeezyks doesn't have any suggestions for you here. But I just wanted to offer my best wishes for resolution to your dilemma.

What about a modification of the visitation schedule and adding in some weekdays?

yes, is this a custodial or visitation arrangement?

Separated for 6 years. Did I read that right?

Im not sure what the right or wrong answer is, but 6 years of are we going to be together or are we going to build separate lives, is a long time.

If you truly want to move back in, my suggestion is it is because you love her and want the marriage to work.

Im a parent, and i can imagine the pain of not seeing my kids every day. So i get where your coming from.
But, it will do more harm than good to move back and show your kids what an unhealthy relationship looks like.