[LittleForgetMeNot]

It's been a rough 2 months.

First month was hell, I fell into a deep depression and found myself self-harming and attempting suicide.

But I got on medication and have been doing very well for the past 3 weeks.

We tried to remain friends. For the first month I was very clingy and desperate from the depression. But now I'm over it and realize being friends isn't possible.

However my ex still continues to message me sometimes, asking for money and getting upset with I don't give him anything. He talks to other girls on dating sites and has gone out with a few of them, but still as I said, messages me trying to start small talk even when I told him to stop. He seems to want to keep communication there, but I don't really.. want to anymore. I dont see a friendship between us. With him threating me with the kids for money, arguing with me, accusing me of not taking care of the children properly and dating within days of dumping me.. well it hasn't exactly left me feeling like I even WANT a friendship with this person.

But i don't know what it means ._.' If he's talking to other girls why even bother with me, you know what i mean?

[gayleggg]

Separation is hard. It's hard to find that middle ground to where you can communicate but not be intrusive. Sounds like you have let go and that he still needs to let go. I don't know what it is that makes a guy think he can go out with other girls but think that we still care. Just avoid him as much as possible. You sound strong.

[Scotty204]

Remaining friends is almost always impossible due to hurt & anger. Unless you plan on getting back together with him I'd say keep your distance

[fairydustgirl]

The first few months are very hard but it gets better. I am on the other side though, I chose to leave my ex H. It was still the one of the hardest things I've ever done but I had to for my mental health. That being said...we didn't speak for 2 months, texted information when necessary. He had surgery the beginning of the 3rd month and I stayed with him at the hospital and his home for a day. I got guilted into trying to get back together somehow, so I agreed to date and see what happened. It was so awkward, we never kissed or held hands on the dates, it was the same behaviors as before I left. This went on for about 3 months. He did something very intrusive and at that point I realized I just could not ever go back to him. I cried, he cried..I went and filed the divorce papers.

It is now 2 years since I left. And it has taken a very long time but he and I are friendly...not friends. But we both agreed we didn't want to be those people who couldn't be in the same room together. We still help each other out occasionally with things. He looked at the house I bought to give an opinion, I watch his house when he is gone. Other things as well. We have two kids together and a grandchild. So we knew we would have to be in each other's lives.

But this really has only been going on since the baby was born in the spring. so...it took maybe 16 months? The hardest part of everything for me? one of my kids refused to even talk to me for the first 10 months after I left. the baby changed everything thank goodness.

[eskielover]

When children are involved its a whole different situation than when one has grown children & don't have to be anywhere around the other person. Friendly BUT NOT FRIENDS, is a good way to explain it. Even with my grown daughter I don't say bad things about her dad but I also don't keep quiet about the things he has done....but only provide facts NOT opinion because her own opinion is what is what is important for her to form. I have actually been surprised at her opinions that she has expressed. Some have been more negative than my own. Surprising because I always thought she was closer to him than to me but that has changed as she has observed his behavior.

Honestly I would totally limit my interaction but then again, you are only separated & some communication is necessary unless you are planning on ending the marriage. I have been separated 9 years because I couldn't afford the divorce. He never communicated when we were living together & it didn't change after I left though I made everything go through email & he doesn't get my new phone # because he abused it by giving it out as a reference & they called me when he defaulted on the loan. Lol if they had called me BEFORE giving him the loan I would have let them know how irresponsible he is financially & they wouldn't have given him the loan unless they wanted him to default.

Separation is NEVER easy & when kids are involved even more difficult. Limit the interface as much as possible for your own sanity & functioning that you have to do between the 2 of you