Two days ago it was fine, today he is looking to file divorce

Hello, I am new to this forum.

As silly as this is using Disney, I feel like I'm what happens when Pocahontas marries Kocoum. As I kid I thought Pocahontas was stupid for turning down the serious strong guy because he was a good deal. You'll see what I mean...

So my husband is in a lot of pain right now, he has a frozen shoulder, a newly developed heart problem on top of his type 2 diabetes. He hasn't been able to work and that has also bothered him because I work full time, have 2 toddlers and an AuPair and I can't afford everything though I am looking for a better paying job. He has been depressed and likely has PTSD from his childhood. He's a former professional athlete that has stated that his physical well being and strength is his identity. He has very little tolerance for any stress right now due to being overwhelmed with his health and depression. We have had our share of issues but a lot of them stem from the fact he is a a self proclaimed sociopath. He tells me he doesn't care about how I feel, but I know he still loves me and I love him. He refuses to go to a counselor, I have been and the counselor told me I have to explain things to him logically because empathy is something he doesn't understand.

Two days ago I took the day off we went out to see a movie and had dinner and it was a good time.

Yesterday I had a job interview in my home state of RI. I went to the interview and after it I replied to a text to him saying "I'll be home soon"

I didn't come home for quite a few hours because I lost track of time and went to visit a friend. I always think I can do more things in the limited amount of time I have, I admit I screwed up. I feel so trapped that I can't do anything besides work, come home, and take care of someone else. I just wanted some time to myself and now I am suffering the consequences.

He was pissed, he doesn't take care of himself and complained I didn't leave him enough food. He slept at a hotel last night and refused the food I brought him. This morning he comes home and starts watching youtube videos in my presence about initiating divorce. He wouldn't take his meds or eat anything I gave him this morning. He is in bed sleeping now.

I know this is emotional abuse, and I know it doesn't look good for us. But I love him and I know I am all he has. I feel like we're not at the divorce point, I know he needs help but refuses to get it and he really has no friends and he won't talk to family. (his parents would likely be on my side anyway)

I can't see my counselor until Tueday

Hello Sleepynose: I'm sorry you are in this most difficult situation. Hopefully coming here to PC can be of some comfort & support. I see this is your first post here on PC. So... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

You said he needs help.. but I think you need help, as well. Are you sure you're really gaining something from this relationship? From what you write, it seems like you've done all you can to help him.. but if he keeps rejecting those offers, you can't really do anything else. So no need to feel guilty about it (beware of emotional manipulation ). Now your money and children - that's a bigger problem. You've said you're looking for a better job.. hope you'll find one, and once you do, get away from hom

I can see he has a lot on his plate but that's no reason for him to take it out on you. You need to nurture yourself. I know you love him but it's not a good enough reason to put up with emotional abuse.

Just because you love someone, doesn't mean they love you too.

You deserve better.