Any info???

I think he plan is to come as go as he pleases in my house while I am not there. Taking the dog, taking the kids to school. That requires him coming to my house while the sitter is there. My daughter did have a break down about this.

Yeah, that sounds like a real good supposition on your part. I suspect that's exactly what he plans to do. And, if his next sugar mama tosses him out, he'll need your house as his hotel.

So your daughter had "a breakdown," whatever that means. Well, maybe you better just accept that he is in control. You can decide to just let him come and go as he pleases and do whatever he wants. Maybe that will reduce tensions. If you do that, make up your mind to stop exposing your kids to you hating on him and fighting with him. Just meekly accept that you got yourself in a jam that there is no way for you to get out of. That's pretty much the thrust of everything you post.

Everyone contributing pretty much affirms that this is a bad situation you're in, and everybody is supportive of you getting him out. You've gotten plenty of good advice. Now, if you really don't think you want to throw this guy out and that you can't, even if you want to, then just keep on as you are. I don't know what else anyone can tell you.

If you basically want to vent about how awful he is, you can do that too.

It feels like to me you're doing whatever you can do to hang on to this man and avoid having to hire an attorney.

If you just want to ruminate on how terrible you're treated that's fine, but you are trying to predict the future and wring your hands about things that haven't occurred. I feel like it's just to avoid taking any action here.

Kids can be more resilient than we realize. It's been 7 years since my divorce. 2 things came up this school year out of the mouth of my now 14 year old. First was during a high school interview, the guidance counselor at one of the schools told me that he mentioned one of the hardest things was when his father left us. I filed for divorce, by the way. I've had restraining orders. I've been assaulted, but he sees it like that. Second was telling me in a sarcastically serious way that he doesn't have a father.

My ex used to try to hold similar things over me. Just something to think about.

No. I am not trying to hold on to him. There has been nothing between us for years.

I really want to protect myself and the kids from what he is planning on doing, which by what the lawyers say, I can't do anything until he leaves. I can't even evict him since he is not a tenant. So I have to sit and wait.

Here's a link you might find informative. It indicates that you - and you alone - have legal custody of your kids, if you've never gotten a court declared statement of paternity. That's because you are unmarried. When a man is married, the courts assume he is the father of any children his wife bears (unless contradicting DNA is presented.) When a man is not legally married (forget about common law crap), the courts will not assume your boyfriend is the father of these kids. If he takes them out of your physical custody, that would be kidnapping, which is a very serious crime.

Can the other parent take my child? - MassLegalHelp

If either you, or your boyfriend, ever want to establish legal paternity, then this link shows what is required:

Establishing Paternity in Court - MassLegalHelp

If you ever wanted to force your boyfriend to pay chikd support, then you would have to establish legal paternity. That means either he and you, both, have to voluntarily sign a document stating he is the father, or you would ask a judge to order mandatory DNA testing.

(These links are for Mass., but I doubt R.I. is much different.)

Here's another link that states things clearly:

http://info.legalzoom.com/father-chi...ody-20714.html

You said earlier that your boyfriend wrote himself "off the mortgage." If that is really true, then that would mean that only you are the owner of the house. So that would make him your tenant, and you coukd evict him. See this link:

How to legally get my boyfriend to move out of my home?

On the other hand, if your boyfriend's name is on the deed to the house, then he legally has as much right to be there as you do. On that case, you could consider moving out yourself. You could find an apartment, take the kids and move into the apartment. (However you would then be in trouble with the bank for not making mortgage payments. But you could just let the bank reposses the house. Then they would probably evict your boyfriend, sell the house and return a portion of the sale proceeds to you and your bf, if they sell it for more than you owe the bank.

YAY Rose!

Thank you Rose for all the info and for listening.