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#626
Sep 11, 2023, 08:23 PM
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Very cool. It's all about staying connected with my folks and kids, plus the band and other musicians |
 Open Eyes
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#627
Sep 12, 2023, 01:51 AM
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I'm kinda getting better a little bit at a time I think. There's still confusion and bitterness. I cry sometimes for no reason. I miss my home and my backyard.
I did find a woman on Facebook who went through exactly what my wife is currently going through, literally word for word. I mean, it was shockingly accurate. If you send me an email, I'll share screenshots of her FB message with you. |
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#628
Sep 12, 2023, 09:25 AM
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I can't seem to get past being discarded. That seems to be the thing that hangs onto my thoughts.
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 Open Eyes
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#629
Sep 12, 2023, 10:42 AM
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I don’t think it’s you personally but more about how deeply she has been traumatized and experiences a lot of emotional triggers with any kind of intimacy. She doesn’t feel safe within herself.
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#630
Sep 12, 2023, 05:03 PM
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| Open Eyes
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#631
Sep 12, 2023, 10:04 PM
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I'm trying
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| Open Eyes
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#633
Sep 13, 2023, 01:17 PM
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One thing I have learned, and I learned it the hard way, is to not let things get to me and to not see my opinion or feelings as the only options.
I was so inflexible with my wife on so many things and there was simply no reason to be that way. There is not a day that goes by I do not regret that aspect of my old self. The dog hair from the German sheppard living in the house bothered me so much. The fact that nobody else washed dishes bothered me. The fact that when people spilled something, they didn't clean it up properly and I could feel the stickiness on the tile floor bothered me. And I would vent and complain a d what a useless waste of the precious seconds of our lives. I doubt I will ever be married or even have a significant other in the future, but one thing I can say with the utmost clarity, is that I will never, ever complain about such trivial things ever again... I won't waste my time because we are all living on borrowed time... |
| ArmorPlate108, Open Eyes
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#634
Sep 13, 2023, 03:34 PM
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I haven't heard from my wife in weeks. Today she asked if I could help her with a business transaction. Of course, I agreed.
About 30 minutes later, she texted that she recently went to a counselor and the counselor said she "was not ready to meet with me." I was puzzled, but I was also surprised she was going to counselor. |
| ArmorPlate108, Open Eyes
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#635
Sep 13, 2023, 04:11 PM
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This could be her checking to see if you will still give in to her. There may not really be a counselor.
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| ArmorPlate108
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#636
Sep 13, 2023, 04:38 PM
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| Open Eyes
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#637
Sep 13, 2023, 04:39 PM
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She asked specifically for me to help her file a business document with the state. I believed it a sincere and reasonable request???
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#638
Sep 14, 2023, 09:40 AM
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| JustTotallyLost
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#639
Sep 14, 2023, 11:19 AM
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I'm better today. I think I've cried it all out.
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| Open Eyes
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#640
Sep 15, 2023, 08:00 AM
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Friday!!!!
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| Open Eyes
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#641
Sep 15, 2023, 09:35 AM
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I've had the darkest 3 weeks of my entire life, but I think it has passed.
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| Open Eyes
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#642
Sep 15, 2023, 01:11 PM
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It takes time ((JTL)).
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#643
Sep 15, 2023, 01:57 PM
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Yes, it's been a lot of up and down, lots of crying, depression and sadness.
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| Open Eyes
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#644
Sep 15, 2023, 11:04 PM
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Remember, it’s ok to feel. It takes time to accept and feeling is part of processing.
 
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#645
Sep 16, 2023, 08:36 AM
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I'm trying to accept something I didn't want and not be bitter or sad.
Hope you are having a great day! |
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#646
Sep 16, 2023, 06:06 PM
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Holy ****...
After weeks of zero contact, I reached out today to ask wife if she needed new tires for her car. She responded: "I want you to know that I watched 3 different videos on narcissistic behavior and I see you in all of them. I'm so sorry that narcissism is the reason that you cannot be in a forever, relationship, and it will take you years to heal from this, but I hope you decide to put in the work." I'm stunned............ |
| ArmorPlate108, Open Eyes
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#647
Sep 16, 2023, 09:01 PM
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This is coming from someone who is very confused and constantly turning to some kind of religion or mystical creation to fill a void in her. She is not qualified to diagnose you period.
Everyone has their weaknesses and varying narcissism levels without being on the extreme that leads to a diagnosis of NPD. |
| ArmorPlate108, JustTotallyLost
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#648
Sep 17, 2023, 05:47 PM
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#649
Sep 17, 2023, 06:58 PM
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@Open Eyes:
Here's what I wrote in response: Father, I pray for the miracle of healing in the heart and soul of xxxxxxxxxxxxxx. I so deeply regret that I hurt her soul and she did not deserve this pain. Lord, please forgive me for hurting xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. I pray that You would comfort her, please. Lord Jesus Christ, my heart reaches out to You for a miracle in this. I beg that you restore xxxxxxxxxxxxxx's happiness, and that you heal her soul and spirit, and that you bless her with financial solvency and abundance. Please grant this humble request for forgiveness and bring peace to her heart. Subsequently, I release myself from this burden and I declare myself free from my past sins, failures and shortcomings. In the name of the God of Israel, of Issac, Abraham, and Jacob, i pray these words into existence. So let it be written, so let it be done. Amen... As far as I am concerned, I've more than made ammends for whatever I have done and I choose to not speak of it ever again. |
| Open Eyes
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#650
Sep 17, 2023, 07:37 PM
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| Open Eyes
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