I Think I Learned Too Late:

Very cool.

It's all about staying connected with my folks and kids, plus the band and other musicians

I'm kinda getting better a little bit at a time I think. There's still confusion and bitterness. I cry sometimes for no reason. I miss my home and my backyard.

I did find a woman on Facebook who went through exactly what my wife is currently going through, literally word for word. I mean, it was shockingly accurate.

If you send me an email, I'll share screenshots of her FB message with you.

I can't seem to get past being discarded. That seems to be the thing that hangs onto my thoughts.

I don’t think it’s you personally but more about how deeply she has been traumatized and experiences a lot of emotional triggers with any kind of intimacy. She doesn’t feel safe within herself.

I know that this has messed me up more than I ever expected

I'm trying

@Open Eyes - hope you are having a great day!

One thing I have learned, and I learned it the hard way, is to not let things get to me and to not see my opinion or feelings as the only options.

I was so inflexible with my wife on so many things and there was simply no reason to be that way. There is not a day that goes by I do not regret that aspect of my old self.

The dog hair from the German sheppard living in the house bothered me so much.

The fact that nobody else washed dishes bothered me.

The fact that when people spilled something, they didn't clean it up properly and I could feel the stickiness on the tile floor bothered me.

And I would vent and complain a d what a useless waste of the precious seconds of our lives.

I doubt I will ever be married or even have a significant other in the future, but one thing I can say with the utmost clarity, is that I will never, ever complain about such trivial things ever again...

I won't waste my time because we are all living on borrowed time...

I haven't heard from my wife in weeks. Today she asked if I could help her with a business transaction. Of course, I agreed.

About 30 minutes later, she texted that she recently went to a counselor and the counselor said she "was not ready to meet with me."

I was puzzled, but I was also surprised she was going to counselor.

This could be her checking to see if you will still give in to her. There may not really be a counselor.

Oh, Wow...I'm very naive I guess, but I would literally help anyone who asked.

She asked specifically for me to help her file a business document with the state. I believed it a sincere and reasonable request???

She knows your weaknesses. She is just making sure she has control of you to service her.

I'm better today. I think I've cried it all out.

Friday!!!!

I've had the darkest 3 weeks of my entire life, but I think it has passed.

It takes time ((JTL)).

Yes, it's been a lot of up and down, lots of crying, depression and sadness.

Remember, it’s ok to feel. It takes time to accept and feeling is part of processing.

I'm trying to accept something I didn't want and not be bitter or sad.

Hope you are having a great day!

Holy ****...

After weeks of zero contact, I reached out today to ask wife if she needed new tires for her car.

She responded:

"I want you to know that I watched 3 different videos on narcissistic behavior and I see you in all of them. I'm so sorry that narcissism is the reason that you cannot be in a forever, relationship, and it will take you years to heal from this, but I hope you decide to put in the work."

I'm stunned............

This is coming from someone who is very confused and constantly turning to some kind of religion or mystical creation to fill a void in her. She is not qualified to diagnose you period.

Everyone has their weaknesses and varying narcissism levels without being on the extreme that leads to a diagnosis of NPD.

@Open Eyes: she sent me this video without explanation

TikTok - Make Your Day

@Open Eyes:

Here's what I wrote in response:

Father, I pray for the miracle of healing in the heart and soul of xxxxxxxxxxxxxx. I so deeply regret that I hurt her soul and she did not deserve this pain.

Lord, please forgive me for hurting xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.
I pray that You would comfort her, please.

Lord Jesus Christ, my heart reaches out to You for a miracle in this. I beg that you restore xxxxxxxxxxxxxx's happiness, and that you heal her soul and spirit, and that you bless her with financial solvency and abundance.

Please grant this humble request for forgiveness and bring peace to her heart.

Subsequently, I release myself from this burden and I declare myself free from my past sins, failures and shortcomings.

In the name of the God of Israel, of Issac, Abraham, and Jacob, i pray these words into existence.

So let it be written, so let it be done.

Amen...

As far as I am concerned, I've more than made ammends for whatever I have done and I choose to not speak of it ever again.

@Open Eyes:

Funny that any time I send a prayer the negativity just stops immediately.