[amartin]

Ive been going to counseling and weve had 2 sessions so far. And she still isnt sure if she can put her heart back into our marriage. Im losing faith and losing my mind.

She is holding on to something and hasnt filed yet. But she is so negative about us all the time, stuff like I just dont know if I want to do it again and her parents are really still pushing her to file. so she is caught between them as her parents and me as her husband.

UGHHHH..

Im a emotional train wreck and not sure how to handle this

[sabby]

I understand how frustrating it can all be, but in the grand scheme of things, 61 days and 2 counseling sessions is but a tiny drop in the bucket when it comes to repairing a marriage, or even coming to a decision as to whether or not to continue trying.

It takes a lot of work to repair a relationship. There are personal repairs and couple repairs that need to be made. Time and hard work cannot be replaced by the sheer wanting of things to work out.

One has to dig deeply to find the patience and compassion needed to wait things out. It's not easy.....not by a long shot.

I hope you strive to help yourself through this as well as work on understanding where things went wrong and what can be done to fix them if anything at all. Remember that actions speak louder than words and if there are changes that you have to make to help convince her that you love her and want to change, she will need to see the proof, not just listen to the words.

I wish you well!


sabby

[sunrise]

amartin, two counseling sessions are not going to solve much, but at least she and you are going to couples therapy. If you have had only 2 sessions over the course of 61 days, then my first thought is that isn't often enough. Can the two of you go weekly? Maybe the first thing that could be negotiated, with the help of your couples therapist, is that you will both commit to 10 sessions of marriage counseling over the next 3 months. During that time, neither of you will file for divorce or threaten to file for divorce. This will give you some space to work on your issues.

It would probably also help if she wouldn't talk about her marriage problems to her parents, since they are so negative. It will be hard for therapy to work if she gets constant negativity about the marriage from her parents. She needs some space from the naysayers to give therapy a fair chance. This is something that could be negotiated early in therapy also.

It sounds like you have an individual therapist also? (if I am reading correctly?) Your T can help provide support. Perhaps some friends can help too?