[stdkd93]

What Im asking is I have been married for almost 16 yrs to a man in the Army. He is due to retire in around 5 years and he will then be able to draw that retirement once he gets out. If we divorce will I be entitled to half of that retirement??? Is there anything else I may be entitled to??? We also have 3 kids together.....

[Catherine2]

stdkd93, hello!

Perhaps checking in with JAG will give you some answers.
Or they will direct you to where you can get the answers.

I don't know what all has changed, but you and the children should be entitled to a variety of things.

My best wishes to you,
Catherine

[sunrise]

What kind of retirement is it? Is it a pension plan or a 401K or what? Or some special military retirement benefit? If it is a 401K, yes you are entitled to some of it. It is considered an asset, just like any account (except there are penalties for withdrawal before retirement age). If you get half of that retirement, it will stay in a retirement account and you can not draw on it until you are of retirement age, even if your ex-H is retired and drawing on his half (presuming he is older).

You could also be entitled to social security benefits. I think the rule is something like you can get SS benefits at half the rate of what your ex-spouse will get, or take your own. Mine are very similar to what half of my ex-H's are, so I am just going to stick with my own. There may be a minimum number of years you need to be married to get this, so that is something you should look into. My marriage was over 20 years. It might be worth a trip to a lawyer for a one hour informational session to get some of your questions answered.

If your kids are under 18, you will be able to get some child support from your H, if he has a greater salary than you do and if you have at least partial custody. Again, this is something to ask a lawyer about to be sure. Since your H is military, you can probably keep your underage kids on his health insurance plan, which will continue once he retires.

You may also get spousal maintenance, which pays you a certain amount of support a month (not the same as child support). This can last for several years and depends on the length of the marriage, how your salary compares to his, whether you gave up your career for him and to look after the family, and other things too. If your H makes less than you do, you could end up having to pay him maintenance. See lawyer for the details.

Good luck.

[Catherine2]

The JAG will be able to answer all these questions and more.
There are some things that will be different because of the military retirements and benefits.
The JAG officers are attorneys and will advise you on the best way to protect yourself and your children. Your children should be covered by TriCare until they are a certain age...

You didn't say if the divorce was in the near future or not until he retires...it will make a difference.

It's been too many years since I was involved in military affairs, so I truly don't know what, if anything, has changed. Most likely the only thing that has not changed is that Army policies are set up to be balanced for each one of you.

Catherine

[stdkd93]

Originally Posted by sunrise

What kind of retirement is it? Is it a pension plan or a 401K or what? Or some special military retirement benefit? If it is a 401K, yes you are entitled to some of it. It is considered an asset, just like any account (except there are penalties for withdrawal before retirement age). If you get half of that retirement, it will stay in a retirement account and you can not draw on it until you are of retirement age, even if your ex-H is retired and drawing on his half (presuming he is older).

You could also be entitled to social security benefits. I think the rule is something like you can get SS benefits at half the rate of what your ex-spouse will get, or take your own. Mine are very similar to what half of my ex-H's are, so I am just going to stick with my own. There may be a minimum number of years you need to be married to get this, so that is something you should look into. My marriage was over 20 years. It might be worth a trip to a lawyer for a one hour informational session to get some of your questions answered.

If your kids are under 18, you will be able to get some child support from your H, if he has a greater salary than you do and if you have at least partial custody. Again, this is something to ask a lawyer about to be sure. Since your H is military, you can probably keep your underage kids on his health insurance plan, which will continue once he retires.

You may also get spousal maintenance, which pays you a certain amount of support a month (not the same as child support). This can last for several years and depends on the length of the marriage, how your salary compares to his, whether you gave up your career for him and to look after the family, and other things too. If your H makes less than you do, you could end up having to pay him maintenance. See lawyer for the details.

Good luck.

I dont know exactly what kind of retirement it is other than I know its not a 401K. Its just after 20 years they can retire from the military and draw retirement which as far as I know he will start drawing as soon as he gets out of the Army. He is only going to be like 40 when he retires and he doesnt have to wait until 65 or whenever to draw it. Our 3 kids are all under the age of 18 and I have been a stay at home mom for most of our marriage. The few jobs I have had were just part time minimum wage jobs. I am almost positive though that they will still be able to be on his medical and I would only if we were married for at least 20 years. We arent on a military base or even near one because right now he is a full time recruiter but still its considered active duty so I dont know about the JAG thing. As of right now divorce is not in the picture but he has told me he wants a seperation and divorce has been mentioned so Im just trying to find out some kind of info just in case it comes down to that. Its not what I want but you know how that goes.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by stdkd93

I dont know exactly what kind of retirement it is other than I know its not a 401K.

An important step to take if there is the slightest chance divorce or separation is in the future is to familiarize yourself with all of the family finances, accounts, debts, assets, etc. Actually, even if divorce is not in the offing, it is good for anyone to do this. Every spouse should be aware of family finances.

Our 3 kids are all under the age of 18 and I have been a stay at home mom for most of our marriage. The few jobs I have had were just part time minimum wage jobs.

If your H were to keep working, you would definitely be able to receive spousal maintenance. Since it sounds like he may not plan to work (is that right? or can he draw the military retirement if he is employed?), I am not sure if you could get maintenance because presumable his income would take a big cut. I suggest you see a lawyer right away to learn about all of this. There may be some important timing issues. It's always good to have information, even if you don't plan to act on it. Just in case...

As of right now divorce is not in the picture but he has told me he wants a seperation and divorce has been mentioned so Im just trying to find out some kind of info just in case it comes down to that. Its not what I want but you know how that goes.

I'm sorry this is happening. Does your H want a legal separation or just to live separately but still remain married, supporting you and the kids, etc.? I think you're really smart to be trying to get the info now.

I don't know what JAG is, but if it is a legal resource, might be worth looking into.

[stdkd93]

Originally Posted by sunrise

An important step to take if there is the slightest chance divorce or separation is in the future is to familiarize yourself with all of the family finances, accounts, debts, assets, etc. Actually, even if divorce is not in the offing, it is good for anyone to do this. Every spouse should be aware of family finances.

If your H were to keep working, you would definitely be able to receive spousal maintenance. Since it sounds like he may not plan to work (is that right? or can he draw the military retirement if he is employed?), I am not sure if you could get maintenance because presumable his income would take a big cut. I suggest you see a lawyer right away to learn about all of this. There may be some important timing issues. It's always good to have information, even if you don't plan to act on it. Just in case...

I'm sorry this is happening. Does your H want a legal separation or just to live separately but still remain married, supporting you and the kids, etc.? I think you're really smart to be trying to get the info now.

I don't know what JAG is, but if it is a legal resource, might be worth looking into.

I am the one that handles the family finances so I am familiar with all that I just dont know exactly what his retirement is considered other than him getting out after 20 yrs.
Since he will only be 40 yrs old once he leaves the Army yes he will have to continue working cuz his retirement wont cover all the expenses and he can still get that retirement even if he works another job.
Well I dont think he wants to go the legal route yet. What he wanted to do was to get his own place for a short amount of time to figure out what it was that he wanted to do so yes he did still plan on supporting me and the kids while he was taking his "space". Its weird and confusing for me cuz other than my emotional issues (which I am currently in therapy for and back on my anti-depressants) and my jealousy issues I dont feel he has any good reason to want to be seperated from me and the kids. He has mentioned our marriage being stale and us growing apart but yet he isnt willing to work on things to fix that and I think that it would be easily fixable. Ive told him how I ma more than willing to do whatever it takes and I just wished he would see it that way also!!!
So Im just trying to be prepared.....
JAG is a the military law/lawyer stuff but like I said we arent on a military base so dont see how that would be too helpful....