[Lisa Michelle]

I have my first proper therapy session this afternoon.
I was on a waiting list for... forever, and have had the assessment etc, so now I've been assigned my therapist and yeah, it starts today.

I'm very very skeptical. I don't see how it's really going to help, I think it will be focused on encouraging me to gain weight (which I can and am doing myself) and not really deal with the important stuff (the emotional side). I've never met any professional thus far that really knows what they're talking about when it comes to eating disorders and what's wrong with me (I tried telling the nurse in my assessment that there is "something else" like maybe borderline but she wouldn't listen.. they see a low weight and just see anorexia and a need to gain weight... she really thought it would all go away when I gained weight).

I guess I just want to hear your guys experiences with therapy. Does it help??? What do they focus on? Is it all weight weight weight? I want to gain weight right now, and I do what I want, so I don't need 'help' with that.... I'm just scared that it'll "come back" again so I want to work on my confidence, self esteem... I don't know what else. I know she's just going to harp on about weight and food, though.

Bad times, I really don't want to go. You wait so long to get therapy that by the time it comes you're no longer really sure you want/need it.

Sorry to write so much. I hope you guys are doing well x

HI Lisa Michelle,

I have been in treatment at an eating disorders clinic for two years now. At first there was indeed a lot of emphasis on eating and attaining a certain BMI. The fact of the matter is that in order to handle dealing with emotional stuff, our bodies have to be healthy and working properly. It takes a lot of energy just to tolerate certain feelings in my experience. I know it is hard to be open to others' direction when it comes to eating. I hope you will be able to discuss this with your new therapist. If she specializes in eating disorders she will surely know that you will struggle with relinquishing any kind of control. She will also hopefully know that as your eating and weight normalize and you are no longer using eating disorder behaviours to cope, the underlying issues will present themselves as a natural course of events, and be there to help you deal with them. I guess it is a matter of first things first.
I think it is awesome and very courageous of you to have already begun to make the changes you need to. I hope you will try to keep an open mind about therapy and see how it goes. I am pretty sure you will find that your new therapist really wants to help.

Good luck

[phoenix47baby]

It's not all weight, weight, weight. In fact with many therapists weight is not discussed unless one is getting alarmingly thin and in need of hospitalization in my experience. The talk revolves around issues in one's life and how they are affecting one. Hopefully many layers of history can be pulled back and one will see things in a different light and therefore feel better about oneself. It is a lot of work and an inside job but you can do it. Good Luck and let us know how it turns out. Remember, you are in the driver's seat.

[quote=Lisa Michelle;1213387]

I'm very very skeptical. I don't see how it's really going to help, I think it will be focused on encouraging me to gain weight

When you get quiet with yourself and you can imagine what would help you . What would that be?

(I tried telling the nurse in my assessment that there is "something else" like maybe borderline but she wouldn't listen.. they see a low weight and just see anorexia and a need to gain weight... she really thought it would all go away when I gained weight).

It's not a nurses position to say anything about a diagnosis. You can always adress it with your therapist. Pursue what the diagnosis is and if you really have it and how treatment for it would help your anorexia.

I guess I just want to hear your guys experiences with therapy. Does it help??? What do they focus on?

My first therapist could do nothing to help me with food . I was the sole person who knew what I did when and could figure out why.

What he did help me with was unlock the key to my abusive past and that gave me a reason (placebo or not) to finally stop . It dovetailed with being honest.

So I don't need 'help' with that.... I'm just scared that it'll "come back" again so I want to work on my confidence, self esteem... I don't know what else. I know she's just going to harp on about weight and food, though.

There you go . you got your answer ! It's usually the emotions and view of the self that underline a slip or return . Control , competition , not letting anyone else define you . And if someone doesn't like you rejects you or judges you, to be able to not have that effect you.

Lace up those skates !

Patricia