[Overcastbutclearing]

I am a pretty big girl. My problem is I go through periods when I want to eat anything possible. From meals to snacks I just eat and eat. I usually eat when I am bored, sad, depressed or anxious.
I went to the doctor's last night and I gained 20 pounds in the past 3 months. This now makes me even more of a fat slob then before. I am disgusted with myself....but I don't know how to just stop.
I am embarassed to talk about it to my T or even to my doctor.
I am not sure how to get out of this eating style or how to even begin eating healthier or start exercising because I am so out of shape.

I am just basically disgusted with myself.

[LMo]

SJ, I feel your pain, bigtime. I feel the same way about myself.

The only thing that has helped me lately are:
1) I asked my husband if he would set up my lunch and snacks for the day. I will not eat anything that he doesn't set up for me. I thought of this because I recently put my cats on a diet and got them to lose about 25% of their body weight over 8 months. The only reason it worked is because they weren't in control of their portions -- I was. So, I figured that if he controls MY portions, I might lose some weight.
2) a friend and I are struggling with the same problem, and we now go for weekly or semi-weekly walks, even if it's dark. We usually go for about 2 hours.

I know how you're feeling SJ -- I'm pretty disgusted with myself, too. But, I do know that it's achievable. I've lost weight in the past and I know I can do it again.

Accountability goes a long way for me. My vote for you is to suck it up and talk to your T, asking him/her to help you set some baby steps.

[wi_fighter]

Since you're embarrassed about talking about it, could you see yourself starting out by saying you're having problems with emotional eating? That's really common, so you wouldn't be putting yourself so "out there."

I'm a big emotional eater too, and the worst stuff - carbs and sugar. I eat mostly out of boredom. It's just something to do. Half the time (more like 75%) I'm not even aware of how much I'm eating.

[Overcastbutclearing]

My appt is tomorrow night so I am going to try and see how I can approach this subject. Something needs to happen with me cause this is just ridiculous. I am a glutton!

[wi_fighter]

Increased appetite goes along with some forms of depression, so your T has heard it before. I don't what else it's associated with. If you put too much thought into it, you might back out. IMO, I'd just say that my eating habits are affecting my mood, or vice versa. They kind of go hand in hand, don't they? Feel crappy, eat. Eat too much, feel worse.

Good luck tonight.

[LMo]

in my case, it's associated with being bored.

Definitely, good luck!

[Overcastbutclearing]

(((LMo))) ((Wi))

Thanks for the support and kind words.
I know I have poor self control...maybe that is the fear in dealing with it...

My appt is tomorrow night so I will let you know if I confronted the issue.

[Overcastbutclearing]

So, I had my appt last night. Never did speak directly about how I am feeling with myself in this area.
But T does ready my journal and I did write about it. I am sure she will bring it up in next session. Hope I can deal with it when it comes up. I am just really angry and really hating myself.