[avoice]

Hi I'm having a hard time right now and can't seem to get back on track. Nothing helps nobody can help me I don't want there help. I'm in starvation mode and that's my choice not there's mime I own it not them. It's my **** not there.

[protector1973]

do you wanna talk about it, whats brought this on???

[avoice]

Hello ED good by me

[Sunna]

Dear avoice, I had hard time understanding what you are saying. I heard "I am killing myself, and I am fine with with it. No one can stop me, and I don't want their help." And you didn't want to talk about what could have triggered you, so what did you want?

And then I realized that this most likely is "goodbye cruel world".

If so, I am so, so very sorry! It's such a waste. I only hope that you realize you don't want to die, before it is irreversible.

This lie you are dying for is so pointless. I wish more people would realize sooner that so many thoughts enslaving us are not true, and worse than that, they do not even come from us. They are but mind infections, deserving no more loyalty from us than a toe fungus.

[avoice]

no I don't want to die that''s not what I met at all I just wanted my ED back that's all. Sorry you took it that way.

[Open Eyes]

Avoice I am sorry you are having a difficult time. You are a very strong person and it wasn't long ago you were trying to tell another person how to build strength. Find that wonderful post you made in your statistics and read it for yourself. You have a lot of strength and your such a good person.

Even though I don't have the same issue as you, your way of explaining how you dealt with it helped me use the same method to help me struggle through so many terrible days. You were always there in my mind telling me what to do moment by moment all day each day working at overcoming what I have. Your determination meant so much to me, it was the one message I needed to read.

Your struggling right now but you are strong, you can do it, even if it means one moment at a time.

I am always here to listen. I don't have all the answers and I have been down too, but I am trying and some days are harder than others, one moment at a time, one day at a time.

Open Eyes

[Sunna]

Thanks for responding, avoice. I was envisionsing you in some awful state.. Still starving is dangerous, especially if you've already had years of putting your body in such extremes, but I believe you know all that, so much more vividly than me.

So even if your ED is taking you into depths right now, I hope you will regain control.

(((((avoice)))))

I totally understand what you said. If I had any good advice to offer I would. I hope hope you can get things back under control soon.

[avoice]

I haven't had my ED in a long time been in recovery for 5 years. Things got rough the last couple of Days with my home life and with my Dr not knowing what to do with me. So I turned to ED for control thought it was my only option besides when I'm in that state of mind now body bothers me. My family lets me do it they know if they but in I will trigger and they don't want that because if that happen I will explode and they are afraid of that. I hate having people helping me all the time. My pain disorder just wish it would go away but it's here to stay. I'm sure ED is only temporally and I will get a grip soon but for now it's my comfort zone I need it. much love JoDee

[Open Eyes]

Avoice what would your response be if it was someone else saying this? I have listened to your response before, you know what is right for you. You were in Control for five years. You are not in control in ED. You should get therapy and work out your frustration. Everyone is struggling and it is hard to know what to do.
But you know in your heart that giving in wont really make your life better, and it wont solve your problems. You already know that ED just adds problems and guilt.

Your holding your anger and frustration in and punishing yourself.

You could share your problems here and maybe we can help by talking to you or listening. ED is being angry and taking it out on yourself, you do know that.
Are there any support groups around you that can help you?

Sweetheart I understand it is hard and anger and frustration is a trigger for you, me too. Maybe you can start like I do, the past few days were hard and I am having a hard time, but everyday I am going to make a conscious effort to over come the anger and make sure I take care of myself. And you know that means keeping control and not giving in to ED. You have learned what it means, You have fought through it, and YOU know YOU can do it, YOU have to remember it is only thoughts and emotions and YOU can over come these thoughts and emotions without harming yourself.

I hope you get help avoice, I am here to listen. I wish I could talk to you as well you did to that other young woman with ED. I am trying.

Open Eyes

[avoice]

Up date, Most of my family now how my ANA goes. Don't tell me to do this or that. Like "EAT A SANDWICH". My family call me Ana not ED they think of that as another word so I thought I would up load some pictures of my new grand baby with her grand father and maybe that would jump start me. Your welcome to take a look at my grand baby in my profile actually have three. Yes there mixed and that dosen't matter I love them with all my heart. much love avoice

Avoice,

Your new grand baby is beautiful !!! Honestly, I wouldn't guess you were a grandma at all, you look so young (your profile pic) I am assuming here that's you. I hope you are doing better. And you have people here rooting for you.

[avoice]

no that was taken three years ago but thanks.