[silver_queen]

Does anybody know where Justy is? I haven't seen her for ages and when I looked up her profile she hasn't been on since June . Does anybody know what happened to her? Did she go to hospital or has she just not been around recently?

[blackdragon]

i dont know but i been wondering too. i hope shes allright

[Leslie]

I wish i knew how she is doing. I have an old phone number but it is not a working number any more. I really would like to know how she is doing. I am very concerned. If anyone knows anything about her please respond.

Leslie

[inkblot]

I think of her often. My sis. I have a phone number for her, but I don't know if it works.

[Leslie]

Please try ink and let me know if it works.

Leslie

[eskielover]

I hope she finally took care of herself. I watched a Dr Phil program a few days ago about an anorexic lady......who was at a point where if she didn't do something seriously.....she was going to be dead within a short time. I also had gone through that situation myself at the beginning of this year & had the hospitals pdoc tell me that if I didn't agree to treatment I would be dead in a couple of days & that he would put a 72 hour hold on me otherwise.

I do hope she made the choices in the best interest of her & her kids.

Debbie

[itsjustme111]

Thanks for showing concern. I will give u the shorter version:

My old bf had become extremely violent so I knew it was time to get the hell away from him. I kicked him after finding out from our landlady that we were 5 months behind in rent. He was spending everything, leaving us in a financial mess. So I found a new place for the kids and I but could not afford a phone. (thats what happened with the phone-sorry).

So....shortly after moving, he found us and would not leave us move on with our lives. At this point, my ED took over even more than I imagined possible. My weight dropped terribly and I started having heart problems etc.....enough that I was "commited" into hospital. My kids had to move in with their dad-and still remain with him.

Their dad has made such wonderful improvments--in a simplified way--he has really grown up and is trying his best to be a great dad. I am really hopeful for him and his gf. The kids are adjusting very well, although we miss each other dearly. I see them as often as possible and talk to them every second day. I have not lost custody, we are now planning a 50/50 arrangment when I am well again-enough to function properly for the kids.

So I was hospitalized but managed to bolt, even being commited. I had totally panicked at the fact that they had to force nutrition in my body until I could eat on my own. The thought and feelings when I ate were just horrible as I started to gain back weight. But thinking back at what others were telling me--yep, I did look like death. I was so pale and grey looking--eyes sunken in, and the sadness impossible to hide.

I am not anywhere close to where I need to be but time is what we have and with that comes hurting and healing. I doubt hope many days--several times on bad days but have discovered that there is a life worth living. Holding on to this is the toughest part.

I am having difficulties in the medical sense. I have had daily appointments with my doctor (after hiding until I could convince them to lift my certification or what ever u call it). I had to hide for 3 weeks until my doctor felt that by having a warrant out for my arrest under the "mental health act" was not benifical, I was able to come out of hiding and plan with them a way to begin eating on my own. Unfortunately this is not going the greatest as my body is kind of "rejecting" certain nutritional items--mostly proteins. I keep swelling to the point of extra 30 pounds, which is not helpful. I had to go on pills to try and rid of some of the fluid as its soooooo painful. My body is doing the opposite of what it did when I was starving myself as my doctor puts it as: "Your body is in rescue mode and holding on to everything in anticipation of starvation." So it will take a while for my body to accept a normal way of nutrition. I am also dealing with kidney stone problems---ouchies!!!!!

I could go on forever-lolol, but damage has been done. My system can't do certain things on its own yet--not to be gross but the laxatives harmed me the most. This is part of the swelling issues and bloating as well. Its very scary because at this point we can only hope that in time my system will function properly again on its own. We also know that I can't continue doing what I was because I was so damn close to death and my body can't take anymore. I am only 10 pounds away from being underweight but I will take it for now. Better than starving to death. I can't deny that I have to stay away from scales as much as possible because it still upsets me and frightens me when my weight does jump or the bad days of fluid retention and bloating. It's like----AAAAHHHHH, I AM SOOOOO FAATTTT. But its the illness, not me.

I do have a phone number that I can be reached at--just pm me if u would like it.

Thanks for the continued support and caring: I miss u all as well,

Justy

[inkblot]

Oh, sweetie, my gosh you really have come a long way! Congratulations!!!! I told you it was possible! I am so happy for you--so PROUD of you! Thank you for coming back here and sharing. This is such awesome news!!!!

[itsjustme111]

Always wonderful to have u all on my side and same goes for my feelings towards u.

I have missed everyone and worried about how u all are hanging in.

This time of year is so hard for people and I wish u all the best for the holidays!!

Justy

Elizabeth, I just read your story above... Oh, what a hard time you´ve been going through! I´m really impressed by your strength to endure all that has happened! I wish you all the best things!
Stay safe and keep on fighting!

Hugs
Nina

[eskielover]

I am so glad to hear that you are getting the help that you need. I have gone through the central line TPN nutrition just reacently at the beginning of this year. I can relate to your feelings of it going into your body because food just can't be eaten.......then having to have the sugar level tests constantly to control the sugar level because of the sugar in the nutrition & needing insuline shots to control that. Being told that you will be dead within a few days is hard to deal with too. I went AMA before the hold could be put on in order to go to my Mothers funeral & went back into the hospital a few days after the funeral when I collapsed.

I know that physical damage can be done to our bodies, but with taking in the nutrition, hopefully with no more damage, what there is you can now control. It has to be hard when you are dealing with all the personal BF issues you were dealing with. I know that stress for me causes weight loss even without the desire to be thin. I can still look in the mirror & see a walking skeleton even though it isn't as bad as it was. Your description is right on.

I am glad that the "dad' situation is improved & your kids have a safe place until you are well enough to care for them. I know I don't have young kids anymore.....but I do have a year old filly (my baby horse) who makes my life worth living especially now that I am getting a divorce after 30 years. My filly is the best incentive for me to stay well enough to care for her again with passing out (& passing out around horses is very dangerous let alone it scares them too). I look at my filly & can't imagine anyone else having her if I wasn't around for her. I am sure that your kids are what make your life worth living too & are a great incentive for you to keep going so no more health damage can happen to their Mom, realizing how they would feel without you being there for them too.

I know it has to be hard dealing with all the things that are going on with your body while it tries to adapt back to it's normal state......but taking one step at a time with alot of determination to be there well for your kids......you have to be proud of yourself that you are successfully fighting the illness.

Keep up the good work for yourself & your kids,
Debbie