[avoice]

Can't believe I just exploded all over my family members. Now I want you back ED. Just me and you ED yes you. enough said

[Hope-Full]

No, you don't. You don't want or need Ed. He is giving you an opportunity to open the door and let him back in. You don't have to! Don't let the family blow-up be a reason to invite him back in!

If you have the book "Life without Ed" go re-read it.

(sorry for the advice, don't think you were looking for it, but sometimes I divvy it out anyway.)

[eskielover]

I'm with Hopeful.....just because you exploded at your family isn't a good enough excuse to dive back into your ED.

Think about your friend Debbie's daughter who died from using the ipecac.....there needed to be some personal responsibility on her part to NOT use it also & not give into her ED issues or use excuses to allow one's self to go that way.

You need to separate the blowing up at your family from your ED because they are not connected.....you need to deal with the family issues in a separate way & not use it as an excuse to be drawn back into your ED.

Getting in control of your emotions is a starting place in dealing with the issues that you are struggling with. Maybe a good DBT group would be a help for you to learn more about your emotions & how to keep them regulated without allowing them to draw you into behavior that is unhealthy.

Know it's not what you want to hear, but one has to take our emotional mind along with our rational mind that knows what is the right thing to do & create the wisdom to live by without allowing the emotional part to control ourselves.

Know you can be strong enough to keep from doing this harmful choice....you have to know it yourself.

[avoice]

Originally Posted by avoice

Can't believe I just exploded all over my family members. Now I want you back ED. Just me and you ED yes you. enough said

can't say if i will ever be the same.

[eskielover]

Maybe blowing up at family was a good thing if it's something you have been holding in for a long time.

Maybe never being the same again is also a good thing......sometimes we have to take a step in a new direction in order to make the change necessary to deal with the past.

But none of this is a good enough excuse to bring your ED back into your life. You need to focus on what your next step needs to be without the ED & focus on that.....making a break without bringing your ED back into your life can show you that there are other options that work just as well in your coping with situations.

Be safe & know that sometimes the things we do are necessary & even if we don't do them in the most diplomatic way, it's probably because we've been pushed too far in the first place & that's an OK reaction given the circumstances.

Care for & love yourself for who you are.

[avoice]

sometimes I love you sometimes I hate you.

[avoice]

Originally Posted by avoice

Can't believe I just exploded all over my family members. Now I want you back ED. Just me and you ED yes you. enough said

everybody lookout Here's Comes ED and no turning back gonna be the best anorexia. Take all your horses and shuv up who ever wants to talk trash about me.

[avoice]

I do everything obey haven't did any self harm i eat i'm nice nice nice nice nice. all i ask for is a little kindness just spent a lot of money at sams no one happy bicker bicker bicker. told my family i want none of this food . Cram it i said now i want to to bad like the old me. nice nice nice well i'm mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean

Hello, avoice. You are in my thoughts.

[eskielover]

(((((Avoice))))),

You need to step back & look at your situation logically instead of just with your emotions. Easier said than done, I know.....but it's something that has to be done if you are going to stay in control.

Your family unfortunately sounds a bit normal especially when kids are involved with the bickering about food & what they want & don't want & you didn't get the food that I wanted to eat.....blah, blah, blah......but that's what you need to do is just make their words turn into nothing but blah, blah, blah, blah.......& not hear what they are bickering about because it wouldn't matter what you got, that bickering is what you would get.

Why let something like that control your life to the extent you are talking about allowing it to do?

Think about it logically.....your "doing everything", "not self harming", "eating", "being nice", has absolutely NOTHING to do with no one being happy & bickering about all the food you bought at Sam's. That not being happy & bickering wasn't aimed at you it was aimed at their attitude about the shopping trip.

Maybe next time tell them that since they couldn't be better at Sam's club & weren't happy & bickered about everything that NEXT TIME YOU WILL LEAVE THEM HOME & they won't have any say in what you bring home & that will continue until they can "GET THEIR ACT TOGETHER".

That way you can shop in peace & not have to deal with the triggers & buttons they are pushing.....because it's NOT SOMETHING YOU NEED while trying to control your anorexia. Sometimes we need to take control of our environment the best we can in order to protect ourselves from situations like this.

I understand how upsetting family can be the way they reacted to you & the shopping & how much you can turn against the food rather than aiming at the kids who really should be getting your wrath in this situation for their behavior. They need to learn how inconsiderate & unappreciative their behavior is & how wrong their behavior is...put your energy into using this as a learning experience for your kids rather than harming yourself by taking it out on the food.

Hope you are able to work through this in a healthy way.

[avoice]

Originally Posted by eskielover

(((((Avoice))))),

You need to step back & look at your situation logically instead of just with your emotions. Easier said than done, I know.....but it's something that has to be done if you are going to stay in control.

Your family unfortunately sounds a bit normal especially when kids are involved with the bickering about food & what they want & don't want & you didn't get the food that I wanted to eat.....blah, blah, blah......but that's what you need to do is just make their words turn into nothing but blah, blah, blah, blah.......& not hear what they are bickering about because it wouldn't matter what you got, that bickering is what you would get.

Why let something like that control your life to the extent you are talking about allowing it to do?

Think about it logically.....your "doing everything", "not self harming", "eating", "being nice", has absolutely NOTHING to do with no one being happy & bickering about all the food you bought at Sam's. That not being happy & bickering wasn't aimed at you it was aimed at their attitude about the shopping trip.

Maybe next time tell them that since they couldn't be better at Sam's club & weren't happy & bickered about everything that NEXT TIME YOU WILL LEAVE THEM HOME & they won't have any say in what you bring home & that will continue until they can "GET THEIR ACT TOGETHER".

That way you can shop in peace & not have to deal with the triggers & buttons they are pushing.....because it's NOT SOMETHING YOU NEED while trying to control your anorexia. Sometimes we need to take control of our environment the best we can in order to protect ourselves from situations like this.

I understand how upsetting family can be the way they reacted to you & the shopping & how much you can turn against the food rather than aiming at the kids who really should be getting your wrath in this situation for their behavior. They need to learn how inconsiderate & unappreciative their behavior is & how wrong their behavior is...put your energy into using this as a learning experience for your kids rather than harming yourself by taking it out on the food.

Hope you are able to work through this in a healthy way.

thanks wish I could post this so they could read this.