[jlock4507]

I am 23. Since I was twelve I have have issues with body image, self esteem, eating, etc...

At 12 I started over eating, and I became over weight. At 15 I started purging, and by 16 I would go days on end without eating, then purge if I did. I lost 100 lbs.

At 18 I got pregnant, and decided enough was enough and wanted to eat healthy for my baby. Healthy eating when well for a while, then came the overeating. I gained 80 lbs during my pregnancy.

After my daughter was born I lost 50 lbs by barely eating, and still purging. My husband got deployed and I starting binging again, and gained 70 lbs. Then I got pregnant again, and stayed the same weight. After he was born I lost 20 lbs, but then gained back 30.

I have started binging and purging again. Mainly binging, and once in a while purging. I need to stop this before It comes back full force, but how? It started out once a month I purged, then twice a month, now it's every week. I need to lose about 80 lbs, but it needs to be the healthy way. How can I resist binging? And not go overboard with not eating for days? I just can't seem to get into the healthy way of things. I am sick of this up and down rollercoaster of gain and lose gain and lose...I just want some stability.....anyone....help.....please????

Hello, jlock4507. Is professional help an option for you?

[jlock4507]

I started seeing a therapist, but it's not working out. She never has any openings, and I have a schedule that is hard to work with. So i was really hoping to find some support and advice on here.

[likewater]

I understand. I had to stop seeing my therapist because of insurance. Been on waiting list 3 mos for low income therapy
Then couldnt see person assigned to my case because i work , she said shell talk to her supervisor to get me someone else and its been 3 weeks. All this time ive felt less alone just by responding to people on this site.

Now after i explained my situation, lets take another look at yours. Could it be possible that this particular therapist was a bad fit for you. Another therapist(able to accomodate your schedule) or maybe another type of therapy might work better 4 you. Sending you positve energy.

[likewater]

Ooh. Did you see there is a forum for eating disorders on this site? You can get more support there. Hugs.

[jlock4507]

i thought this was the eating disorders forum?

[Placeholder]

Hi there. I am a former bulimic and also a military brat. I think I have some insight into how isolating and unstable military life can be. And at least in the 70s and before you were not supposed to show weakness/need mental health professionals.

I know it is almost cliche but geneen roths book "breaking free from compulsive eating" helped a lot.

But the main thing that broke the cycle with me was learning what good food was. A lot of my overeating I know think was wanting flavor. I grew up with processed foods, margarine and also came of age when everything was fat free and therefore loaded with sugar and chemicals.

Once I started eating real food I calmed down. My body wanted to taste something other that high fructose corn syrup and msg and garlic powder. I became more satisfied which meant I didn't want to throw up what I had eaten because I was still unsatisfied and wanted to try binging again to see if it would work. This time. Of course it never does.

Once I started learning about food as food, keeping it down, my blood sugar stabilized, my moods became more stable and I was able to handle instability better. You have chosen an unstable lifestyle and you owe it to your child to work on internalizing stability. And you owe it to yourself.

All or nothing just does not work. Whole foods. Water. Vitamins and walking do. You need exercise that you can maintain for an hour, nutrients and hydration.

I promise you that if you walk every day, aim for 40 grams of fiber a day and a liter of water and take a multivitamin you will start to feel less out of control.

[eskielover]

I know I was always at a good weight & kept it there by playing racquettball everyday at lunch with the men I worked with. After I lost my career & depression set in.....so did the anorexia from the stress I was feeling & probably the lack of control I felt over the rest of my life. At the same time migraines set in & after several years of being in & out of the hospital with the anorexia & having central line IV nutrition more times than I can remember, I started to gain weight because I couldn't do anything with the horrible migraines along with the horrible side effects that the anti-depressants caused.....so I gained & gained even though I wasn't eating that much. Once my migraines were brought under control with pain medication because nothing else worked, I was able to go back to riding my horse & working on my dressage training....& it was great, the weight was coming of a little each day & week & it was very healthy until a trauma hit & the stress made me so sick I couldn't eat again & the anorexia hit again landing me in the medical hospital again. It took me over a year of gradual eating again to get to a healthy weight & I have been very careful & have put my control issues into controlling my healthy weight.

It feels so much better to bring the weight off with healthy eating & exercise.....placeholder has some wonderful thoughts for you to follow.

It's a struggle many of us have or are going through, so you are in good company here & will find PC very supportive in this area.

I think when I was really struggling, if I had found the wonderful psychologist & DBT group I have now it would have made getting through those difficult times easier to deal with & care for myself.....but at the time I really DIDN'T WANT TO.

If you are really at the place where you want the help.....& the change in your life style.....having a good T & working on it yourself is really the best place to be

[jlock4507]

My husband wants a separation, and since then i've lost 20 lbs....i am always so weak and dizzy, but i just don't feel hungry. I think I've been eating once a day....eeks....I don't have any feelings toward the separation yet, i don't think it's hit me.