Why would I want to tell?

I have been bulimic for 30 years. I have not talked with any other bulimics, so I am not sure if this is “normal”, but when am I doing "good", & good is relative, could be 1 day, 1 week, 1 month of abstaining, I consider myself “cured”. I found I have had to think this way. The alternative, the thought that I would be doing this for the rest of my life, is too much to take.

I recently found myself seeking therapy after finding myself utterly alone for the first time in my life (I decided to move 600 miles away) & in a pretty deep depression. It is the first time I have gotten serious about facing my issues. I found out that I may have BP & BPD. I am an ex-drinker, active for 26 years, first drink at 10, & now sober 8+ years, ACOA, childhood abandonment, abuse, neglect, etc....

Anyway, the bulimia took off, or became daily again. I found myself unable, no matter how hard I tried, to abstain. I decided to take a HUGE leap & tell my boyfriend, ask for help. He knows my story, he knows I have dealt with bulimia, but when I revealed it to him in the past I told him I was not active, which at the time, I was not, whether it was a day, a week, a month....

Anyway, he is already possessive, suspicious. I, of course, have displayed some pretty confusing behavior along the way due to my stuff. Nothing major, no cheating, that kind of thing, but I have told half truths, gotten upset & been afraid to reveal why, BPD stuff. I am the acting in, high-functioning type.

Ok. So I know he has a right to his feelings, but he told me this a.m. that while he does realize it was a big deal for me to tell him, the fact that I did not tell him about the bulimia until recently has caused him to further distrust me. I was floored because in my book, it took a HUGE amount of trustworthiness on my part to reveal this to him. A big part of me feels as though I made a mistake telling him.

I don't really have a question. I guess I am just looking fro feedback, even if it is in support of him.

Thanks!

I'm an anorexic for over 30 years and have been thru the possessive boyfriends. I have also done the geographic relocation. Just remember when u do that your still taking u with u. If your boyfriend cant trust or have faith in you after u had the courage to open up to him you may want to think if it's a health one. I've had to get out of relationships for just that reason. I'm still active in my disease and found someone to be open with and accepts it and trusts me which I know is hars but u have to b true to u. Know u have a friend online that believes in you and your not alone!

Thank you, my friend. This means a lot to me. I am pretty close to letting him go, or should I state, impulsively telling him where to go next time he gets all possessivey on me. I am so scared to be alone though. I never understood why until all this hit the fan. I guess at least now I have some answers for why I am the way I am. God, I act so tough, like I don't need anyone, but truth is, I'll settle for possessive instead of nothing....I piss me off....

Maybe time to get professional help?

Thanks. My bad. I looked back at the original post & realized I did not put that I had also decided to tell my T around the same time I told my now ex-boyfriend. We are addressing the bulimia. I just had a bunch of blood work done, that kind of thing. Anyway, I had told my BF because I just thought that maybe it would be good to have some additional support.