[Jenn1fer82]

Met with a new T yesterday and when I told her about how long I haven't ate, my struggles between B and A I found it shocking that in our first session she asked me to do something for HER!!

Therapy is suppose to be a bout the client. She asked if we can strike a deal if in the next week until I see her again can I agree to eat something small everyday or every other day or whatever.

I assure her not to worry and that I'll know how to take care of myself. I'm not there to comfort her to console her as she's stressed out. She said she's worried about me and she doesn't want to worry about me even more thinking if I ate and how long have I gone without food.

She's still in her supervision training to become a therapist. She is such a rookie!

[Insignificant other]

Ha! The old "reverse phsycology bit" .. Tis an insult to your intelligence !
Inform the newbie .. still .. good luck with eating ... its a challenge for many of us . Good luck.

I saw a t for two sessions who was like this. She said something about how she would be worried about me, blah blah blah, and i said i would going to do some weird e.d. Behavior because i WANTED to...and she said "but what about what i think?"

I laughed and told her, "i dont care what you think!"

Geez, i had known the lady for like two hours. Who even cared what her opinion was? That relationship didnt last long.

Perhaps she was simply trying to show care / concern ... As in most of us don't feel that anybody loves or cares about us which leads us to engage in our self injurious behaviors in the first place ... Hell, half the time we don't even love or care about ourselves ... Nevertheless, it's not as if suddenly we'll feel inspired to change even if somebody did love and care about us, because until we learn to do that for and to ourselves it's gonna be mighty difficult to change ingrained behaviors that we're used to engaging in in order to numb, distract and/or comfort ourselves from all the emotional pain we've been in ...

Wow ... !!! ... Where the heck did all that come from? ... Well, I know what I'm gonna be doing over the long weekend ... Examining everything I just wrote up there ... !!!

[Bob J.]

Yes, the last thing a person with ED's wants to be is a worry and a burden to those around them. I'm sorry she has not yet figured that part out yet, but she's just a beginner.

[Bob J.]

It's one thing to make a therapeutic contract to eat because it's something we need to do for ourselves, and another to be asked to do the same thing to keep someone else from worrying.

Sorry she has not figured out the motivational difference between the two, but she's still learning.

[Jenn1fer82]

Originally Posted by Bob J.

It's one thing to make a therapeutic contract to eat because it's something we need to do for ourselves, and another to be asked to do the same thing to keep someone else from worrying.

Sorry she has not figured out the motivational difference between the two, but she's still learning.

Thanks for your input because I didn't know how to explain it to her. I am still bothered by what she said. I am still engaging with the ED but still I think about her and it stresses me out. Its like now when I tell her I dont want to hear her how bad she feels, how stressed out she is.

I already struggle with having to take care of others and knowing how to make my boundaries and now I feel I have take care of her too so she can feel comfortable.

what am I to do?

[AngelWolf3]

Is there any way to tell her this? like the last sentence of your post is really good, it's straightforward, lets her know how you feel, but doesn't sound mean either...I don't know if you can or not, though, and how open you feel you can be.

But I think it would help her learn, and if anything, she should appreciate it because she IS learning and should expect to make mistakes, I am just sorry those mistakes are happening to you...