[jazzy123456]

So, I cannot stop thinking about food! I've wondered for about 12 years if I've had an ED. If any of you know who Kati Morton is, I asked her if she thought the way I ate sounded like one and she said it did sound like I have an eating disorder. Kati Morton- is a MFTI- a therapist who specializes in eating disorders and if you haven't ever watched her on youtube or visited her sites you definitley should! I highly recommend it! Anyways, I am frustrated because of the pains in my body- since I have chronic pain, I can't start excessive excercising to lose weight. I really want to eat a lot and then just excercise like all the time to control the weight. I am mad right now that I do not have enough self control to stop eating more frequently. At the same time, I have plenty of days where I eat healthy...right now I am just stressed about my constant thinking about food and upset that I do not have money to see a therapist for it. Thanks for letting me vent. It's just hard not being able to go to therapy right now. and well, my personal therapist thinks I have one too but, I still have a hard time believing that it is one.

[eskielover]

There are a lot of times where it's not exactly an Eating Disorder, but it's definitely disordered eating that bothers us.....in either direction of eating too much or not enough. It's definitely a very complicated issue. Hope you can get it resolved soon.

[ShaggyChic_1201]

I'm wondering what the significance is of having the label? Whatever you have (EDNOS, bulimia, anorexia or ???) is causing you stress and harm. It's something you know you want to overcome.

I think I understand that you have a therapist but he/she doesn't specialize in EDs.

You may just be venting and not looking for advice, but for others who are also reading, I offer this...(keep what you like and ignore the rest!)

Celebrate Recovery is a Christian based organization that offers 2 hours of free counseling once a week, and depending on where you live you could potentially go to more than one a week. They ususally have ED groups. A rabbi/pastor/priest may also be able to provide free counseling, and of course there are free support groups and online support groups like ABA, FAA or even OA.

Keep on writing here too! We're a very supportive group in all stages of disease and recovery.

All the best,
Bub

[spondiferous]

I agree...it doesn't really matter what it is unless it's important to you. I have a diagnosis - EDNOS - but ultimately the only things it tells me is...nothing. It doesn't help me get into any programs. It doesn't give the magic answer at getting better, which I used to think a diagnosis would do for me. Regardless of what you have and what you call it, the important thing is that it's causing you distress and you (I think?) want to change.
You don't need an ED therapist to do this, though it helps to have someone who specializes. What you are going to need is information: information about eating disorders, recovery, and yourself. Start paying attention: why do you want to eat so much? Are they hunger cues or emotional cues? Is there something else you can do when it's not actual hunger or does the compulsion to eat take over? What issues in your life (past or present) are you not addressing? Recovery is not as simple as stopping the behaviors.
I liked Bub's idea about groups, online or in person. Peers are helpful in recovery because being around people who have similar experiences and are in similar places with their disorders is a strong support which builds the foundation for lasting recovery, which you may recognize from being on here, or any other support-based network you may already have in place.
Whichever route you decide to take, I wish you all the best from the bottom of my heart. It's hard to create lasting change and to heal. But it's not impossible. Many, many people do it, from all walks of life. If you want to talk about this further, you can always feel free to message me anytime. Door's always open. And yeah...keep posting in the ED forum. Let us know how everything's progressing.