[pinkbutterfly]

Ok...I'm overweight...obese...and I guess I have an ED...though I have been struggling with those words lately "eating disorder"

anyway...she wanted me to see a dietitian, but I cannot afford it. so then she suggested weight watchers. she said they help you learn to eat healthily and you get weekly support by going to the meetings (she said to NOT do the online ones)...i just worry that IF i did something like that, it would be super triggering to me...I would start competing to see how much weight I could lose and stuff...I don't know...just feels off to me. (and of course it's hard when professionals agree that I NEED to lose weight)

[growlithing]

I feel like when someone says "eating disorder", people naturally think of anorexia or bulimia and other eating disorders in the opposite direction like binge eating disorder get overlooked. Binge eating disorder is an eating disorder. Because you said you struggle with being overweight, I'm going to assume that you are talking about BED. Sorry if that is incorrect. Just like the other two "standard" ones, people with BED are have an unhealthy, preoccupied relationship with food. Not all people with eating disorders are thin!

I am remission from BED. I had gastric bypass surgery and that has helped curb my desires to eat along with assisting me in losing a lot of weight. I'm not finished losing the weight yet, but I'm 70% of the way there. I found that I didn't really understand how BED could be an eating disorder like anorexia/bulimia until I had the surgery and I physically couldn't eat the way I could before. I quickly found myself swapping my problem with food for a more serious problem with SI. I was using food to medicate some internal pain I had in the past.

I went to several nutritionists and did weight watchers online and I tried medical weight loss and sorta tried Jenny Craig. The thing for me was that while those things did help me lose some weight, they didn't address my issues with food on an emotional level. I would lose a small amount of weight and then I would lose momentum and gain it back FAST. I did not do a serious group program because I was scared of talking about my weight and what I was eating with other people. I did do a few things before my surgery that were in a group setting, and I found myself hating listening to all the other people passionately rant about their favorite vegetable and all of their other health problems.

But there is this book called the Hunger Within. It is about BED and digging in your past trying to figure out what is the underlying problem causing your problems with food. It's a very interesting and helpful resource.

From the people I know, of the people that did WW, they benefited much more in a group setting than just online. It helps to have a support system.

[pinkbutterfly]

yeah, it's not BED...I struggle with restriction and purging...and some overeating (and purging), as well as making unhealthy food choices, but I don't binge.
I'm EDNOS...though my therapist says my behaviors are like that of an anorexic...if I was thin/underweight, it would be anorexia.

[spondiferous]

I see red flags all over the place on this one.
My last pdoc suggested weight watchers too. I actually tried it. It's all a bunch of horse hooey. Honestly, my ED dietician told me all I needed to know. The thing about programs like WW is that even though they give you an actual idea of what you are eating (which to me is about the ONLY good thing about it), it's a WEIGHT LOSS program. It's not RECOVERY. I don't know why people always think that WEIGHT LOSS and RECOVERY are either one and the same, or interchangeable.
I fired my pdoc because she wouldn't get off the weight-loss wagon. I knew that if I didn't I'd end up relapsing. I've been without her now for over a month and I've been ED free for four months. Follow your instinct. Trust your body. If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.

[pinkbutterfly]

thanks spondiferous. i feel like everything around me is caving in and falling apart. ugh.

[spondiferous]

Yeah I can relate to that. Even though I am successful in my recovery right now, I feel like I am doing something wrong because I am not making weight loss my number one goal. But our society is so obsessed with it. I want out of the madness. I want to live in peace. I want all of us to.