[albrecht86]

After reaching a new underweight low and becoming scarily dysfunctional I finally started working on getting better, forcing myself to eat more and journaling my days/mood swing. This is how I noticed my mood always follows the same pattern after I eat:

* Initial burst of energy, feel happy and motivated!
* Motivation drops, don't feel like doing anything, start feeling depressed
* Energy drops, start feeling sleepy/tired (napping doesn't really help)
* Irritability sets in, I become very angry, snap at peoples
* Start feeling hungry again

What I realized, it's the same pattern regardless of what or how much I eat. Eating more only "extends" its duration before I feel hungry again, but still cycles through same emotions; I can go through the pattern in an hour or five hours depending on how much I ate.

I also noticed:
* What/how much i eat doesn't matter, it can extend the cycle from one to few hours, but it's always the same
* Tends to happen only mid day, I'm usually better in mornings/evenings (tho those have their own patterns too)
* Sometimes (but not always) I can switch moods almost instantly depending on circumstances (i.e. being distracted by friends tends to lessen the effect)

So I'm guessing a lot of it is in my head. It's very annoying and renders me so useless most of the day! Normally I used to mitigate the effects by later drinking coffee, a sugary drink, or just keeping snacking every fifteen minutes, but none of those seem like good solutions. It's almost like I can stay motivated/happy only as long as I keep eating/drinking.

(I also noticed snacking/drinking something sugary usually improves my mood shortly, but non-sugary stuff like, say nuts or water, doesn't, so I am worried it could also be an early onset of diabetes or something)

Did anyone else notice similar patterns? How I break out of this? Do I just keep going until I get hopefully better? Mediate? ugh

[wiltedxdaisy]

Kudos to you for working on getting better! You deserve to be happy and healthy. I am also working on trying to get better. Are you going through this alone or do you have support? If you have support, such as a therapist or nutritionist, I would recommend talking to them about this. If not keep posting here and keep looking ahead. Your body has to get used to this new way of eating. I know for me I struggle with finding balance. I used to suffer from Anorexia, but now that I am eating more, I find that I sometimes tend to overeat. As for feeling tired, when I was restricting heavily, I had much more energy, and now I get tired more easily, but I think we both might need more time to adjust. Plus, midday always kind of drags for me and I'm more likely to nap, which usually just makes it worse for me, but sometimes just have to nap anyway. As for worrying about diabetes, I don't know much about it, but if you are concerned I would recommend talking to a doctor.

Hope that was somewhat helpful! Also, if you need someone to talk to or a little extra support feel free to PM me.

[albrecht86]

Thank you for your input! Unfortunatly I am going through this alone. I do not have health insurance, therapist or a dietician, but I am working on that (just talked to two Ts on the phone today)! And one of my friends I used to talk to about this hasn't said a word to me in over a month.

Today I had sandwiches for breakfast once again following the pattern. Since I mentioned fearing it may be diabetes-related, from the next meal/snack I started doing the no-carb "paleo" thing - just had turkey, cheese, chorizo and veggies. While my energy still is low, my mood is better and hasn't been fluctuating as much - and I feel fuller longer!

But I am not sure if this is because I cut out the carbs, OR because I made up for them with fat+protein that might body might need. Maybe if I ate as much, and also carbs, I would also be fine? I guess I will test that tomorrow.

Hopefully I can get my health checkup / dietitian soon...

[wiltedxdaisy]

You're very welcome. I'm glad to hear you are working on getting help, and also that you seem to be feeling a bit better now, but just wanted to point out that you DON'T have to go through this alone: you have this forum and if you ever want to talk one on one you can always PM me. I'd be happy to chat with you.

Also, I think trying different things for now is a good idea!

~Angel

(P.S. I am leaving for a cross country trip tomorrow so won't have internet access for a few days, but still if you'd like to chat, send me a message and I'll get back to you when I can.)

[ar2004]

I'm glad that you are trying to find a T. It is hard when you don't have insurance or if you have it but can't afford copays. Some T's will accommodate your situation so be sure to ask about financial assistance. I also told one friend about my ED, before I was ready to even admit that was what it is, and she ended up being very critical and basically told me I need to eat more calories and stop exercising. I didn't find her advice or reaction too helpful so I don't bring it up anymore when I talk to her and she doesn't either. I glad I have a T whom I can talk to about it who won't judge me or push me when I'm not ready.

[albrecht86]

Well I've been calling several Ts, meeting one next week two, but my initial phone-consultation impressions aren't very good

Ugh I am so confused!!!

Been feeling great yesterday after making myself eat a lot, felt great this morning too, was about to start on some projects but I ate breakfast and... my motivation was gone just felt miserable and tired This happesn every time I have breakfast, that's why I've grown to fear eating in the morning it destroys my productivity for hours...

After like an hour I ended up going on a massive binge couldn't stop eating felt so bad.

But now I feel the typical low/food coma that occurs in my pattern but... I am actually also alert and motivated to work!!! It seems like all those different feelings I always assumed going together are all separated and I've been feeling such unexpected combinations the past few days!

SO CONFUSED!!!

But I guess the important thing is, whatever i am eating, I am eating way more of it, and that alone will help. Even terribly unhealthy food is better for me than no food at all.

[Vossie42]

Hey there! Eating disorders are a b****, aren't they? I'm experiencing a resurgence of bulimia due to taking too many classes at college this semester. It had been quiet for so long... Bleah! It's normal to feel sleepy or lethargic after you eat, especially if you eat a lot in one sitting. Nearly everybody gets that midday slump. It has to do with circadian rhythms in addition to the normal sleepiness after eating. I find that I'm very in tune with my body. If it doesn't feel the way I want it to feel, I interpret that as something negative and something to worry about or beat myself up for - even if what my body is feeling is perfectly normal.

I know what you mean by eating breakfast destroying your productivity in the morning. The same thing happens to me. It drives me nuts! I have a hard enough time waking up to begin with. I don't need a small breakfast putting me into a food coma. I eat breakfast, but I put it off for a bit and then just eat a little at a time.

I have had much the same food-energy cycle as you. My doctor let me take home a blood sugar testing machine to use for a week. I tested my blood sugar when I woke up, before eating, after eating, and before I went to bed. I also tested it when I felt unusually tired. All reading were within normal. My doctor suggested that I was simply sensitive to sugar and that I would benefit from eating complex carbs rather than simple carbs and to avoid refined sugar like the plague. When I follow those suggestions, I feel better. It seems that you're doing better eating no carbs. Perhaps I should try that.

(My sister-in-law's sister is studying to be a nurse, and she has found that people don't need nearly as much carbs as they currently eat.)

I really like quinoa, which is a seed, for giving me energy and calories without weighing me down.

Let us know how you're doing.

[albrecht86]

Vossie, thank you for the long reply, it's actually a lot of good info. The bit about blood sugar eased my mind a little since I mentioned I was fearing I might be developing diabetes or something in that vein!

OVerall, since I started allowing, even making myself, eat more it's been leading to crazy binging or eating constantly, like every half hour. I realize how broken my sense of hunger / fullness is, so I cannot rely on it anymore. Often I feel really full but have no energy or my mind's foggy; sometimes if I keep eating I get worse, but othertimes I actually end up feeling way better and the "fullness/bloatness" goes away if I keep eating.

So I literally dont know when to stop eating anymore. I just keep pummeling food until I force myself to stop and hope I'll be ok...

As for doing better on low-carb - my mood/energy was much "stabler" yes, but it was also very low, with no motivation to do anything productive. So I'm not sure I'd really call it a better choice :/