[ready2makenice]

I told my T that I won't go back to anymore meetings,I've been struggling recently.....here goes:

I was in recovery for my ED for 37 days,with a few relapses and going to meetings,but I've recently just stopped going to meetings,fell off "the wagon" and back to my behaviors also seeing less and less of my T. I feel so hopeless to ever be done with it,to get up every day and force myeslf to eat,to beg myself not to have a bad day with the voices inside my head.

It feels like no point in recovery anymore.

I was on this hope that after 21 days I would be better and everything would start to look and feel better but I felt as though the meetings weren't making me better,I was trying to eat meals but it was still difficult and I was so overwhelmed with everything I didn't know how else to cope but to run back to my negative habits and self destructive ways as my family and T calls it.

I don't know what I'm looking for here...I guess just understanding.

I've had a lot happen to me these last few weeks and I'm slowly crashing and running back towards my ED.

Any tips?
Anyone felt or have felt this way before?
How did you pull through?
Has anyone gone to EDA meetings? Did it help?

Anything is welcomed here

[buttrfli42481]

I have been out of the ED unit of the hospital for 17months and am still struggling with Ana's voice. I have not gone to any EDA meetings, as there are none close to me. I stick with therapy and my dietician. When I was in the hospital, I was told that it would take at least a year for my body to really be in recovery. I had a slip up this past January and was in the psych ward and barely ate while I was there. They tried to get me to go to another EDU, but they left it in my hands. I needed to go, but had to deal with insurance and gave up. I also lost my T and dietician at the end of that hospital stay.

I guess I managed to pull through by telling myself that I needed the food as fuel for my body and so I could be a good mom to my daughter. I, and my DBT therapist, use the phrase Chugga chugga Chew Chew a lot and that helps.

I still don't have all my hunger signals back, and am getting better about them. I had to have an alarm set on my phone to remind me to eat certain meals and that has helped a bunch, especially in the beginning.

Why are you seeing less of your T? Is it your decision or theirs? Maybe it is time to find a new one and a dietician who specializes in EDs.

Remember to take each day, moment by moment, meal by meal, or bite by bite. Recovery is achievable, we just have to be our biggest cheerleader.