A party!

Last night I did a thing that I've been told a lot of bulimic people do... I was up late watching a rerun of Boy Meets World and I started to feel hungry. I battled with myself on eating close to bedtime, but I felt starved despite the monster sandwich I had for dinner. Regardless, I crammed a burrito into my mouth. I think some people call it "binge eating." I'm not sure, I always associated the word, "binging" with drinking.

A few minutes after I finished, I found myself in front of the can, ready to hurl. To be completley honest, I don't even remember goin' there. All I remember is feeling guilty for eating, fighting with my self whether I should keep it down or not. Then I split in two. Half of me said, "Keep it down! We usually don't eat so late anyway, this time could be an exception as long as we never do it again." The other side, that *****, was saying, "If you make an exception now, you'll keep making exceptions until you become a big, bloated pig."

It was scary that I just came to the can second nature after a meal. I thought for a while, about the people rooting for me to keep my food in, then I dropped a line to my best friend. I told him what I was about to do and he praised me for not doing it. I felt really good even though I got a simple, "Yay you. I'm so proud." Knowing I can consiously step away, man, I wish that you all could feel what it's like (and if you do know, I'd heart to hear your success stories).

I want to help everyone now! So, I've decided to throw a party. Food is on me, there will be an open bar. The Ipocac cost a dollar a shot ; ) hehehe.

Congratulations! I'll come to your party. I've even got a dollar.

<font color=orange>"They accused us of suppressing freedom of expression. This was a lie and we could not let them publish it." ... from the Director of Censorship...

</font color=orange>

Alright, great job! Congrats!! That is such a hard thing for someone bulimic to do. You develop behaviors in eating disorders that over time become so automatic, and here you stopped and realized what you were doing BEFORE you did it--that's a very big step! And then, next you were able to keep it down . You talked to a friend, you are telling us...this is really great news! Be sure and tell your T, too. I think that I'd call or fax him right away I'd be so excited about something like that, LOL. I had a really hard time a few weeks ago and about went nuts wanting to do things that I shouldn't. I am doing much better now and the thought doesn't cross my mind as much. I am eating more, too. You've got a long road ahead, but it sounds like progress to me. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Happy Hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

By the way, I'll see you at the party!

Congrats!
That was a wonderful way of handling the situation. It appears that you are starting to developing coping techniques and that is an impressive thing to accomplish.

Stay Strong,
Jessica

You are in this snowglobe. It is encovered in glass and secure. But one day someone comes and shakes the globe and the pieces go flying everywhere. Now they will eventually settle but they won't be the way they were before and they can never be that way again.

the support that I find from my fellow posters is awesome... much like a possum (ah-haha, rhymed). Anyway, thanks you all for the encouraging words. It is cool to know that, though no one in my immediate life relates to me, there will always be nice people to understand! : )

Woot Woot.

"I intend to live forever or die trying." Groucho Marx