need help!

I fell really horrible about my body right now! I just want to starve myself until I die! I really want to be skinny! I cant stand being as heavy as I am! I want to weigh 80 pounds! I need some serious help right now. can anyone help me right now?!

I'm so sorry you are struggling right now. Do you have a therapist? I struggle with an eating disorder too and I know it's so hard when my brain gets in this mode. What kind of hobbies do you like to do? Can you distract until the feeling lessens some?

HI, LITTLE ONE, keep in mind that I am here for you. I know how uncomfortable you feel. Your body just dosen't feel good enough and you can control eating to feel better.

Some ways I slowly changed was, I journaled my notebook honestly. (some things I wrote were helping me to stay in the illness, but I had to write out stuff anyway and as long as you keep checking and reading past and present posts in the E.D. room you can heal)

Secondly, I weighed myself and decided to take on a exercise daily activity and to weigh out the proper amount of food that I needed truly to live. I refered to the heart association cookbook and diabetic association cookbooks. I than just ate and put less thought in meals but did eat by clockwork.

Please IM me now and than and keep me current. Do you self harm as well. I did. I would burn on myself. Anyway, now instead I do "praniama" breath work regularly. I breathe out a few extra breaths and take in only one for every 4 or 5. I read some books that helped me especially a book called Many Paths to Nirvania by Dali lama. He explained my afflictive emotions and that actually put in a nut shell many irritating things about my body as well. This is only what is working for me.

Also I decided to use my anerexia for benefit. So when I starve for more days than I know I should, I force myself to bravely do a carrer move. I am a writing student and so I write a book when I can. Just caring about you is good for me. Never is it too late. Tomorrow can be a new day, infact tonight we could start. Lets breathe together. I will breathe a breathe for you my friend little one and we can be OK!! by the way it is ok to be skinny. just be yourself and become happier nomatter what shape your body wishes to be in. Just ignore that body and let your mind kick in and you may want to start eating nonfat cottage cheese, or nonfat yougurt. Than you may wish to eat shelled sunflower seeds, macadamia nuts, soymilk, maybe try the Adventist brand meat analogs and not stay entirely away from Kentucky Fried Chicken Resturant. I just let myself go after I read that book mentioned above. It is all going to be all right hon. Really. Just believe and read past and present E.D. posts because I noticed that they are very very good here at Psychcentral, I am not surprised. Man we have a good fellowship here Blessings and Peace in every department Littleone.

I do have hobbies, but none that I can do at night. I guess I just think that I need to back in treatment for this. I thought that I was ok. but obviously I was wrong. I want to be back in treatment because I dont think that I can handle this on my own. I cant tell my parents because they dont understand at all. I know that my doctor wont put me back in treatment because my weight is ina good spot right now. and because the treatment place said that I wasnt serious enough to be there. so I kinda dont know what to do. I totaly feel like I am alone!

It is hard for me to write in my journal because all I write in my journal is "Food Sucks! and a lot of other really unhealthy things.

yeah i know that feeling too idk what to do i have a really bad cold and i feel like im dying ive been bulimic for almost three years and i havent gone a day without throwing up

Wow I just wrote a long letter to you LittleOne and RazzelJenny and it went into the blackhole .
I must run now...my prayers are with you both. Just for today, although I am in a body I am unhappy with....it is a temple and it is OK. Don't starve yourself....you can do irrepairable damage to your heart and organs. Today I will journal and for every unhappy thought I will reverse it with a positive thought about myself.
God bless you LittleOne and RazzelJenny....you really helped me today...God bless
Angelsbreath

hi
I feel pretty down on my body too at the moment but I dont want to lose weight to the point of being underweight anymore.I think I have done irreversable damage to my heart-I am getting it checked out .I have chest pain all the time.Heart failure is a major risk if you are anorexic for a long time.I also have osteoparosis,because I didnt have periods for about 15 years.so now one of the vertebrae in my back has eroded and I have bad back pain and have to be careful with it.So yeah I was anorexic for 15 years and paid a price (I never thought I was really injuring myself).I also have major receding of the gums and my teeth will probably fall out soon.also have liver disease but thats not from the E.D.yeah we only have one body ,its precious ,its gotta last,its gotta be strong.I know logic doesnt really come into it when anorexia rules,but dont let it beat you.I dont want it to beat me.(but I am struggling with bulimia and overeating now)I need to accept my normal weight coz this is me this is my healthy weight.and anyway if I am thin then people see me differently-not the real me ,the natural me ,then they expect me to be thin all the time...do you know what i mean and its a lie.so I guess I have to try to accept myself like this and face the music -face people-that have seen me thin before and if they dont like it ,too bad,move on find some other friends .dont let it kill you and take away your life coz thats all anorexia wants to do .maybe try eating 3 normal meals.try to be very loving and kind to yourself.sorry i am blabbering a bit.take care
blueflower