I need help. Now.

I was just sent home from work because I got really sick. I haven't eaten since Sunday and yesterday I had a really high heart rate. It was 96 I think when the normal rate is around 60 or 70 beats per minute.

Today I knew would be a difficult one because I already felt really week, and the lunch I had to give to the kids at my day care was one of the harder, more fast paced lunches. I finally barely got done with the 3 year olds and I started gagging over a trash can. My boss saw me and helped me get to the breakroom. My whole body was numb and I couldn't walk by myself. My heart is still pounding. What is going on?

I'm trying to get a cheese stick down right now. I'm just really scared my family is going to take me to the hospital and the doctors are going to know exactly what is wrong with me. I went to the school nurse yesterday and she chewed me out, and showed me just how off the chart I was with my weight and bmi, and called me out on my disease. I'm just so scared right now, and I really need to know why my body did what it did. I didn't mean to sound demanding in the title

So I gather it's NOT just since Sunday you haven't eaten....but many times before that just like that for your weight & bmi to be off the chart.

If you do any research on ED's anorexia especially, you would know exactly why your body did what it did....high heart rate & all. Your body doesn't like you abusing it....anymore than people like being abused by others & your body is screaming at you to STOP IT. You should be scared & you should respect your bodies demand to take care of it & stop abusing it the way you are.

I'm sure there are reasons....there always are.....stress & many issues go into the beginnings of ED's.....& those are the things we need therapy to resolve because if those things aren't resolved....the ED will continue to haunt......I have problems with stress causing me to feel so sick I can't eat without getting sick & I can't stand to get sick so I just stop eating....the trauma I went through with my mother was the last situation that triggered the anorexia.....& I landed in the medical hospital requiring a central line & IV nutrition......that will be what's in your future if you don't start to take care of yourself.....as they need to get the body medically stable before any treatment can begin in the first place....or along with as my GP had a psychologist & pdoc coming in to see me every day. Just to go to my mother's funeral I had to leave AMA because the pdoc was going to put me on a hold if I left as a danger to myself he said I wouldn't live without the IV nutrition & the picc line had become infected & had to be stopped. My GP was nice & looked the other way without pointing out the hold the pdoc wanted to put on me which caused problems between them also....but I promised to come back the next week after the funeral was over & deal with the IV nutrition at that point.

I'm thinking you have some other serious stresses going on in your life right now.....which would also cause your pulse to go much higher.....while the low weight keeps the blood pressure lower from my experience.....

If you don't take care of yourself...your body is giving you the warnings...you are the one that has to listen & make the necessary changes

Well, yeah.. I have gone multiple days without eating before. As an update, now my nurse at school is keeping an eye on me, and my psychiatrist, along with my t. My family is also super concerned about me. I made my grama cry today because I accidentally snapped at her. I feel horrible for that. My dad thinks that think my home life is horrible (which is not the case) and my pastor thinks I'm doing it for attention and because I'm being selfish.

All of this really sucks. I have been being nicer to my body. I've been eating at least a little something every day this past week to try to regulate everything and my heart rate has gone down to a normal speed. The nurse is weighing me, and so is my psychiatrist. I'm dancing the line of hospitalization, but I'm trying to ignore it and just eat what I can when I'm hungry so I don't get that horrible sick feeling.

As for my pulse, I think it was because I have a fast-paced job, and I was pushing myself really hard, so my body was trying to keep up along with the lack of nutrients. I'm trying to dodge the hospital, but I'm also trying not to freak out when I gain weight (which I've almost gained a pound since tuesday's adventure and I'm trying to keep myself composed).