[indigo1015]

I don't know if this is typical or not, but I seem to switch between anorexia and binge eating. My therapist says this happens among many people, but I've yet to meet someone who also has this problem of combined eating disorders. I've gone through alternate periods of being quite thin or very overweight. Neither are fun. Right now I'm at a healthy weight I suppose, but I'm still very confused about food-- I eat because I know I have to, but I am afraid to, and I am very uncomfortable with eating around people. I generally don't feel comfortable eating 3 meals and 2 snacks, although I know that is the recommended amount. I just want to have a healthy relationship with food, and I want to enjoy it without overindulging or depriving myself of the nutrients that I need to stay healthy. Right now I've just had breakfast (cereal with skim milk and berries, all measured out to the recommended serving sizes-- now I feel incredibly fat and repulsive and I don't want to eat for the rest of the day. I was quite heavy until recently-- since January I've lost around 75 lbs. But I'm still very confused :-(

Hello Indigo: Cereal, skim milk & berries... yup... that's my breakfast too! For a while, I used to eat a bit of lunch as well. But I quit that because I had gained a couple of pounds. I'm at a healthy weight, but I don't get that much exercise, other than walking. I do weigh myself in the morning every day so that I'll catch any weight gain as soon as it happens. And when it does I immediately cut back on the amount & / or the type of food I'm eating. There's absolutely no way I would or could eat the number of times per day, or the quantity of food that one hears is recommended. My pdoc recently prescribed a medicine that is supposed to help calm emotionally-charged dreams. But it caused me to start gaining weight, so I stopped taking it immediately after only about a week. I don't personally consider myself to have an eating disorder. I just know what I have to do to keep my weight in check & I do it. Good luck with your food struggles.

[waggiedog]

Hello indigo1015. Thanks very much for sharing your issues with us, we do understand hunny. No, in my own case and a number of other people I know, it's not at all unusual to be anorexic yet loose control and binge from time to time. Thin will indeed still allow you to stay at the same weight, even though you feel ''huge''. I've suffered every ED known for the last 33 years and I still do, even though I've caused my body a great deal of harm. For example I was unable to have kids because of all the starving and severe restricting, I also have oestoprosis (brittle bone disease), oh and my teeth are in bad condition due to several battles with bulimia. I've also been hospitalised many times due to anorexia, then binge/starve for extended spells. However I am now in therapy and although I'm ''old'' I'm giving it a good go, early days yet as I still have body dysmorphia (severe body image issues). Yes, my weight is just about at a ''healthy'' weight for my height, still lowish but I just cannot handle weighing any more. BUT, in the past I've weighed TWICE the weight I am now ............................... it was an absolute NIGHTMARE!!. Anyways hun, try and get help and stay with it because ED's ruin lives. HUGS. XXXXXXXXXX

[waggiedog]

Hay The Skeezyks! Thanks for posting some positive things. It's very difficult to say where an ED Begins and ends, or is eating and energy somewhere on middle groung as you seem to be. This is just the issue with the whole eating disorder thing ~ in put and out put of energy/calories whatever, is down to the individual to kinda know. My problems started because my family were compulsive/ever eaters, and needless to say everyone was fat!! Guess we are all different and just 'cos fashion and the media dictate we should look a certain way, the emaciated twig, concentration camp victim, that's what gets pushed down our throats, some of us are very sensitive to this and fall by the wayside aspiring to be that ''perfect size zero''. Thanks for the input Skeezyks. HUGS. XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[indigo1015]

I refuse to weight myself, and if they weigh me at the dr's office I ask not to hear the number. Everyone has to do what's right for them food-wise, I guess... I'm just not sure what's right for me

Originally Posted by The Skeezyks

Hello Indigo: Cereal, skim milk & berries... yup... that's my breakfast too! For a while, I used to eat a bit of lunch as well. But I quit that because I had gained a couple of pounds. I'm at a healthy weight, but I don't get that much exercise, other than walking. I do weigh myself in the morning every day so that I'll catch any weight gain as soon as it happens. And when it does I immediately cut back on the amount & / or the type of food I'm eating. There's absolutely no way I would or could eat the number of times per day, or the quantity of food that one hears is recommended. My pdoc recently prescribed a medicine that is supposed to help calm emotionally-charged dreams. But it caused me to start gaining weight, so I stopped taking it immediately after only about a week. I don't personally consider myself to have an eating disorder. I just know what I have to do to keep my weight in check & I do it. Good luck with your food struggles.

[indigo1015]

My mom has Body Dysmorphic Disorder, which screwed me up food-wise, although I am working on dealing with it because a) she's been screwed over by it too, b) she feels badly about how it affected me, and c) she's trying to get better. For those reasons, I will not beat her up over it and I'm trying to move past all that myself. I had a lot of trouble with overeating last year, and I'm getting it under control but I still think about food a lot. Food was my friend when so many people were judging and hurting me, and when you have little or no support from family, it was like Cheetos made everything seem better. But like I said, I'm getting over it... sort of...

Originally Posted by waggiedog

Hello indigo1015. Thanks very much for sharing your issues with us, we do understand hunny. No, in my own case and a number of other people I know, it's not at all unusual to be anorexic yet loose control and binge from time to time. Thin will indeed still allow you to stay at the same weight, even though you feel ''huge''. I've suffered every ED known for the last 33 years and I still do, even though I've caused my body a great deal of harm. For example I was unable to have kids because of all the starving and severe restricting, I also have oestoprosis (brittle bone disease), oh and my teeth are in bad condition due to several battles with bulimia. I've also been hospitalised many times due to anorexia, then binge/starve for extended spells. However I am now in therapy and although I'm ''old'' I'm giving it a good go, early days yet as I still have body dysmorphia (severe body image issues). Yes, my weight is just about at a ''healthy'' weight for my height, still lowish but I just cannot handle weighing any more. BUT, in the past I've weighed TWICE the weight I am now ............................... it was an absolute NIGHTMARE!!. Anyways hun, try and get help and stay with it because ED's ruin lives. HUGS. XXXXXXXXXX

I was an only child. As he got older, my father developed sort-of a big belly. But otherwise he wasn't overweight (except by today's standards.) My mother & her whole family were all slender. When I was younger I could pretty much eat anything & not gain weight. As I've aged, maintaining my weight has come to require more conscious effort.

Much as I hate to admit it, a large part of my need to keep my weight down relates to my Gender Identity Disorder. I don't look feminine under any circumstances. But I imagine that my face has, perhaps, just a tiny bit more femininity to it if I'm thin. But also, on the more practical side, I have a ruptured disc in my low back that impinges on the sciatic nerve. So keeping my weight down also helps to keep the stress on my spine as low as possible.

[indigo1015]

Thank you for your input, although it seems to be a little off-topic. I'm sorry about your ruptured disc, a friend of mine has one and it's really hindered her in a lot of ways.

Originally Posted by The Skeezyks

I was an only child. As he got older, my father developed sort-of a big belly. But otherwise he wasn't overweight (except by today's standards.) My mother & her whole family were all slender. When I was younger I could pretty much eat anything & not gain weight. As I've aged, maintaining my weight has come to require more conscious effort.

Much as I hate to admit it, a large part of my need to keep my weight down relates to my Gender Identity Disorder. I don't look feminine under any circumstances. But I imagine that my face has, perhaps, just a tiny bit more femininity to it if I'm thin. But also, on the more practical side, I have a ruptured disc in my low back that impinges on the sciatic nerve. So keeping my weight down also helps to keep the stress on my spine as low as possible.

[CrazyPrincess]

Originally Posted by indigo1015

I don't know if this is typical or not, but I seem to switch between anorexia and binge eating. My therapist says this happens among many people, but I've yet to meet someone who also has this problem of combined eating disorders. I've gone through alternate periods of being quite thin or very overweight. :-(

This is me. I have alternated between severely restricting food, to bingeing, to purging, to over exercise...and back again. Sometimes I'm thin and sometimes I'm not. I also have never met anyone who has combined eating disorders. It's hard for me to even admit or believe I have an eating disorder, as I don't remember a time when I had a healthy relationship with food. I wish I had some words of advice, or something smart to say, but I don't. I'm just beginning to admit there is a problem and unresolved past issues. I honestly wasn't even planning on admitting this here. But I wanted you to know you aren't alone.

[indigo1015]

Thank you CrazyPrincess... yeah I'd never met anyone before who has this issue. I'm trying to work on my relationship with food, but it's tough because food, unlike drugs or alcohol or cigarettes, isn't something you can quit. But yeah it's nice to know I'm not alone :-)

Originally Posted by CrazyPrincess

This is me. I have alternated between severely restricting food, to bingeing, to purging, to over exercise...and back again. Sometimes I'm thin and sometimes I'm not. I also have never met anyone who has combined eating disorders. It's hard for me to even admit or believe I have an eating disorder, as I don't remember a time when I had a healthy relationship with food. I wish I had some words of advice, or something smart to say, but I don't. I'm just beginning to admit there is a problem and unresolved past issues. I honestly wasn't even planning on admitting this here. But I wanted you to know you aren't alone.

[LornaMorello]

Hi Indigo!
What you're experiencing is extremely normal, and I go through periods of the same thing.
Rapidly switching between restricting, bulimia, binge eating, etc.
The psychiatric term for it is 'EDNOS' (just newly changed to 'OFSED' but not a popular usage yet) which stands for 'Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified'.
It basically mean you don't meet full criteria for one ED, and that you may practice behaviors from two or more eating disorders.
I was diagnosed with EDNOS last year, and I sympathize with you very much because it is HELL. And very hard to understand. . . but recovery is possible if you ever chose to go in that direction.
I believe its harder than having just one problem on your plate (no pun intended ) but very much possible!

[indigo1015]

Thank you so much :-) ice to know there's a name for it at least, makes me feel less like a freak...

Originally Posted by LornaMorello

Hi Indigo!
What you're experiencing is extremely normal, and I go through periods of the same thing.
Rapidly switching between restricting, bulimia, binge eating, etc.
The psychiatric term for it is 'EDNOS' (just newly changed to 'OFSED' but not a popular usage yet) which stands for 'Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified'.
It basically mean you don't meet full criteria for one ED, and that you may practice behaviors from two or more eating disorders.
I was diagnosed with EDNOS last year, and I sympathize with you very much because it is HELL. And very hard to understand. . . but recovery is possible if you ever chose to go in that direction.
I believe its harder than having just one problem on your plate (no pun intended ) but very much possible!

[bronzeowl]

You're not a freak.

OFSED (EDNOS) is the most commonly diagnosed eating disorder. Eating disorders aren't black and white, like society often seems to want us to believe. There are various shades of gray between bulimia and anorexia. These shades of gray are binge eating disorder, compulsive/emotional overeating, and EDNOS. It sounds like you might suffer from EDNOS. EDNOS is the diagnosis usually received when a person suffers from an eating disorder, but does not meet the criteria for bulimia, anorexia, or binge eating disorder for whatever reason.

I go through periods of binge eating (less recent), restricting (more recent), and purging/compulsive exercising. But since I don't meet the criteria for bulimia (I don't purge after a binge), or binge eating disorder (my binge eating has not been recent), or anorexia (don't meet the physical criteria) - I am classified as OFSED or EDNOS.

The truth is, eating disorders come in many varieties.. and some people who struggle with anorexia may later struggle with bulimia. Likewise, someone who struggles with bulimia, may later struggle with anorexia. The way I think of eating disorders... is that they're all the same monster, but with different names.